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Oprah Winfrey has a superpower. For over 30 years, people who speak to her have not been able to help but to open up, sometimes crying, expressing joy, or just showing the most vulnerable parts of themselves. That ability propelled Oprah to a net worth of four billion dollars not to mention launching books to the top of the bestsellers list and Dr. Phil's television career. So in this video, we are going to explore how and why Oprah is the best connector that I have ever covered on this channel. And you're gonna learn how to live so that people will naturally find themselves opening up and connecting with you. First off, Oprah sets the stage to connect literally.
Unlike many other TV show hosts, she is famous for walking the aisles of her studio audience and for sitting on the same couch as her guests. Later on, she would actually go into their homes for intimate interviews. Now, the lack of physical barriers such as a desk tends to make two people feel more connected and that's why you are more likely to find a spark on a first date if you sit adjacent to your date rather than being separated by a table.
0:33 Set the situation so connecting is easy
1:17 Connect physically and emotionally
2:58 It's easier to open up if there's eye contact
3:29 Actively listen and paraphrase accordingly
4:38 Call out whenever there are commonalities
Oprah makes James Corden cry:
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Pharrel: Why am I crying on Oprah?
Me: Everyone cries on Oprah. Oprah goes to other people's show and make them cry.
I have now started a notebook dedicated to this channel and now, this will be my first entry. What you are doing is amazing and I just want to say I'm grateful for it. For a long time, i thought all I had to do was be jovial but you taught me so much. For years and struggled with making friends because I was 'weird' (Although everyone is different) and now that I'm okay with me, I want to try again. Please keep working hard.
Here’s the big question for me. How do you relate to people and try to commiserate with people in a genuine way without looking like you are “one upping” them? If someone says “I’m an introvert” and you say “Me too!” And then you both go on to talk about it, I end up feeling like I took their moment from them. Does that make sense? I didn’t realize how amazing Oprah was at this. She’s not my cup of tea politically but, she’s powerful with people! She made ME cry by saying “every father has a dream”. Omgosh. Thank you.
Hi, I've just discovered your videos and as someone who means well and cares a lot about others but often comes across either as too introverted, or too strong or falls back on sarcasm, a lot of this advice is very helpful. I've seen your no more toxic people video but I was wondering if you have advice for dealing with sexual assault, especially in the workplace. This can alienate you from friends and co-workers even though you were the subject of the harassment, especially if you come forward (which is most likely the best thing to do for your own psychological well-being). Could you touch upon this subject and/or what to do if someone is actually abusive in their behavior toward you?
Great listeners are gifts from heaven. From the clip with Rihanna, Lindsay and the guy after her who asked himself "why am I crying on Ophrah?" (don't know his name, sorry lmao), I can almost feel how vulnerable they are and how good Oprah really is.
How about a video on how to energize through social interaction, for an introvert, and how to energize through solitary thought, for an extrovert? I recognize where I tend to fall on this spectrum, but would love to grow and relate to the other side of the spectrum.
I love how you breakdown talk show host styles. I would love a video on Ellen’s hosting style. I’m really curious how she gets actors to play games and how she’s able to scare actors on her show and they still come back to the show another time!
Omg you've nailed Oprah! She truly does have a gift. And love her or hate her, you can't help but notice that she really does have the gift of drawing people out and allowing them to feel safe enough to be their TRUE genuine selves around her. I hope to be more like that with my close family and friends. :)
It's beyond ridiculous how good this channel is... I'm blown away at how much I'm learning from you, and how much of an insight in to my own insecurities I'm gaining, as well as figuring out ways to battle and overcome them. Thanks a million!
Well there are different types of introverts. Some people (myself included) are introverts, but can still be social. We are better in one-on-one conversations and less in groups. But after all that socializing we do need some alone time, to ''fill our batteries''. I hope I made some sense.
Today's world underrates "touch". We are not allowed to touch anymore because we live in such a hypersensitive, overblown, overreacting defensive society. Touch is the most natural and authentic form of communication that existed long before language or verbal communication existed. Touch is powerful, healthy, and connecting. Touch gives life and healing, love and power. It is so sad that we are forbidden to touch anymore because of all the fears they have conditioned us to worry about.
I think touching protocol should be taught in schools or elsewhere. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who inappropriately touch sexually. When they get caught, they deny it, and other people tend to think about it like “Oh no, that could be me!” when the reality is that if it’s a normal arm touch/hug/whatever, it’s totally fine. A good rule of thumb is to touch people you’re attracted to the same as you would someone you weren’t attracted to. I’ve been sexually harassed at work before with inappropriate comments and touches, but my current boss grabs my shoulders and touches my arms pretty frequently, and I’ve never felt uncomfortable. Just don’t grab T&A or make sexual comments at people at work, and you’ll be fine. It’s usually that simple.
You know the sitting opposite facing one other, it really works. After watching this, I realised how many people have opened themselves up, especially when you make storing eye contact. Which I often do when I talk to someone. But when I immediately look away, somehow the other person will feel rejected and won't be as comfortable or safe to express.
I've learned to do this over the years in retail and a recent stint in management. I'm an introvert, but I'm also unable to hide my love that I can immediately feel for another human.. these oprah tactics can often bring many customers or acquaintances to think im flirting with them, unfortunately. I've had plenty continually ask to marry me and will stalk me.
This is pretty much only relevant if you're a female politician/celebrity. This would never fly for men, we get called creepy for trying to have a sincere moment with anyone, even if it's just eye contact or a light touch on the shoulder.