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Can't beleive this has shifting to the guys when 90 per cent of the time women are doing this they really don't know what they want they just wanna judge and find a fault in a guy and move on as if nothing wrong them plz sorry but have to say it like it is
This is soo devastating. I know this comment is long but I feel like this is a good place for opinions from people who have experienced it too. I was ghosted a bit over a week ago by someone I had met on Tinder and known for two months and had been exclusive with for only about two weeks. I’ve been watching and reading about the red flags leading up to ghosting and I honestly can’t think of any clear ones in my situation (esp. for someone found on an online dating website). I understand that maybe this sounds fast to be exclusive, but the pacing still felt right. He didn’t invite me to his house and meet his parents till after a month. Our first couple dates he wasn’t showering me with over-the-top compliments and when he did compliment me they felt very genuine and unique (not just about looks). Didn’t even kiss me on the first date, was very chivalrous and we met and left with a hug. Our relationship wasn’t heavily digital, we did spend a lot of quality time together after we were out of work in the evenings but it wasn’t every day and I made sure to uphold my standards which were very reasonable. His actions matched his words; we were very intellectually compatible and loved sharing / talking about podcasts and human nature (which makes him ghosting even more ironic). He also tried to get to know me / would ask personal questions. What confuses me the most is that he initiated exclusivity and introduced me to his family and friends. His family liked me and I liked them. He met my family too and was very well received. If he was planning on ghosting the whole time, why would I meet those important to him and why would he initiate being exclusive? He ghosted me right after my trip to Canada; was asking when I’d be back and then the Monday I was back asked if I was free after work to meet up (which was typical). I responded saying that I was free and then POOF ghosted. Didn’t panic at first and left him a voicemail the next day saying I had souvenirs for him and his family from Canada. No response and that’s when I realized I had been ghosted. A week later just sent him a text saying how it made me feel and that I deserved honesty and that was that. The last time I saw him was at his friend’s party so maybe his friends influenced him somehow (even though he followed up saying he had fun with me and that I did great at the party meeting his friends). Or maybe bc I said I wasn’t ready to have sex with him but then again that was right around when we first became exclusive and he seemed very understanding and respectful about that. Coulda bounced then. We still had great physical chemistry / did other stuff so this is just so confusing. I know I shouldn’t waste any more mental energy on this and that I deserve better, but it’s so hard not to wonder when you’ve got nothing to work with and when you’ve got a case that doesn’t seem to match the typical ghosting scenario. I appreciate any thoughts!
There's many reason why a male or female would become "ghost". Refuse to waste time with a male or female who's either incapable or unwilling to be forthcoming with us. We're not "mind reader" nor should we engange in "guessing games" because our time is valuable.
A ghost is A person thats about to waste youre time lol.. i do agree not to panick . .. i will also falll wayyyy back and give a taste of your own ghost medicine.. Why? .. because i have no time to water dead plants . A man will treat you the way he feels about you . No matter what you tell yourself. So ladies There is nothing wrong with you ... you did nothing wrong. . Adjust your crown .. say nothing cause when you do it will only make it worse and gives him control.. it's not worth it ..... and its not the end of the world ...pick yourself up..get yourself busy and know hes not the only man in the world. When a man really likes you. He will follow through. Trust .
I like that suggestion thanks. My heart just had prostate cancer surgery a week ago. I have not heard any updates from him or heard from him since the surgery . And, I know this is hard on him. It's even harder on me. This really sucks and it bothers me a lot .
If I disappear, the only reason would be that I show more interest in the girl who clearly likes me but she doesn't show ant interest back. Don't even get me started on how many times I'd to initiate most of the conversation via message.
My boyfriend is currently acting cold and distant. We've been together for 5.5 years off and on. He's been making reasons to not see me, won't contact me, won't make any plans to see me, refuses to answer texts or calls, and I used to be the one doing 100% of the chasing in the past, what should I do with this behavior? He's been getting more distant over the past 6 months and this last month has been him just ignoring me 99% of the time. He won't even respond when I tell him I need to speak to him from my heart. I just found out I have cancer and I'd really like his love and support. He's acting like we aren't even together. I told him I want to speak to him from my heart, connect again, be loving again, and he just ignores me and is always too busy. What can I do?
Unfortunately don't have time to be catching feelings. Men mentality is different .. Women are emotional. But is easy when a guy is into u is all about progression and wanting more of u. Lol I am not a fan of begging or waiting to see what happen. I just observe the signs and if I sense patterns or so many change and gaps in communication my feelings start to get turn off and I doubt things. I know that real love is a feeling u got figure out and is not confusion or pause.
I've never done this to a woman ever, because I believe in human decency and not unnecessarily hurting anyone. Roughly half the women I met have done it to me though. So I can relate - as a man being the one who's hurt.
Gosh...I think this is the best advice ever......but I still need y'all input. Long story short. I dated this guy 2014 for about 5 months. He disappear. And I let it go. Since last Sept 2015 he is been trying to see me. Calling, texting, pleading. I really made him wait, I told him I don't néed no jokers. Ok Feb this year I gave in and we went on a 4 days trip to Vagas. All expenses paid. Honestly I fell in Love ALL over again. Even introduced me to some friends and his dad. He was saying all the right things......Now all of a sudden whoosh he is gone.......No calls, no Text. I know where he lives but I refuse to chase after anyone. And he leaves the country today for 3 weeks. :( ..... So what do i do......i await everyone's reply.
Walk away - RUN!!!...when a man is truly into a woman, he's not going to play these games. He loved the challenge of winning you back, so he did everything calling, texting, pleading, introduces you to friends and dad and now he's gone again. Let him go, he is playing games with you. If he can walk away so easily, no communication at all, let him and save yourself the misery. I know it's hard but you deserve better.
If the guy would just be honest and upfront and deal with his thoughts and emotions with the person he know has feelings for him, then the girl wouldn't panic and jump to conclusions. It's easier said than done to just be patient with someone who is ignoring you when they know you care about them and you deserve the respect of a conversation. Lmao, so screw this idea of "oh you should wait for him and hold back". My feelings matter. If there's something bothering you, tell the girl you know has developed feelings for you what issues you are having with whatever sort of relationship you have instead of ignoring her. Obviously it's going to give her anxiety, causing her to worry and jump to conclusions. All of this can be avoided if people would just be capable of emotional honesty but honestly that's so fucking rare these days.
I just had an experience recently, online dating been talking for few weeks he used to text/call me everyday then we decided to meet he was all gentleman and all good date no issues (to my mind at least), told me how stunning I was and highly educated blabla... he drove me to my place, kissed me good night texted me straightaway how fabulous the date was... I texted back the next day he also texted the next day that he is busy at work... then puff! didnt hear from him for couple of days, So I called and left a voicemail just saying hi and whether he was OK, he texted saying he's preoccupied with some issues and with his sister's issues and that he will call me the next day... Of course he did NOT call! Men are very weird creatures!
I really like your videos but in this case I highly disagree. If a guy disappears let him be disappeared, forever! Unless you are willing to put up with his indecisive personality and enjoy perpetual instability. When a guy disappears only three things should come to mind: 1) He is selfish, 2) He will do it again, 3) You deserve better.
The men who "suddenly" disappear, disappear because they are assholes who couldn't just give us closure and tell us the truth. I know that is "harsh" to say but I had 2 men who did that to me in my life, and when I started falling head over heels for them. At no time did they tell me "I just want to be friends," NO instead they just vanished leaving me with a broken heart. Now I understand... if the guy continuously tells you "I just wanna be friends," or if they straight up tell you "Sorry, not interested, I can't see you anymore." I respect that because they are respecting you and telling you the truth.. now to the DOUCHEBAGS who just leave, don't give you closure, leave you wandering and missing them.. hopefully they will get a taste of their own medicine and see how it feels XD. lol Sorry for the harshness but its so true it really does hurt and it's a really jerk move when a guy or girl does this.
Girls if a guy disappears its like what he said hes either thinking about how further he wants to get or hes simply not into u and dont want to make a drama out of this. Give urself a time frame. 4 weeks or something. If he doesnt call back past that fuck it... his loss. Next time u see him ignore him. Let him make the first move. But dont wait on him either. Life too short. Was he trying to be disrecpectful? No. He was actually trying to be the opposite. If u need answers confront him but dont yell. Remember this is courtship stage. Not past engagement ring stage. Both of u dont have any responsibility towards each other.
Or the guy is just not ready for a committed relationship nothing to do with u.
Wow cool stuff. i have been talking to a guy and we were getting on just fine i was stroking his ego' and i meant it tho! we laughed alot, he agreed to everything i said, he laughed at all my jokes, he does more then he should. Even he admitted that we laugh lots and we have fun and now he has pulled away Ahhh! Text messagers are short, and when i praise him he does not respond the way he use to..crappy.
I love your channel! Very helpful! And especially this video made me feel better!
By the way, I wanted to ask if it's okay to ask a guy out? And how to do it? Where could I invite him to?
P.S. It wouldn't be a first date, because he asked me out for the first time, and now I'm thinking that it maybe is my time to take the action :)
Thank you in advance! :)