Do you ever feel like the fear of rejection is holding you back?...
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Like maybe there's someone that you would have really liked to ask out, someone that you've had your eye on for a long time, but when you think about asking them out you think about them maybe saying no. Rejecting you. So you don't even want to try. Or maybe you're an artist of some kind and you'd like to share your art, you'd like to publish it, you'd like to maybe even pursue it as a career... for me, this was writing.
But, when you think about being criticized or rejected for that art, you don't even want to throw your hat in the ring. If that's something that you can relate to, the good news is that you don't have to continue to relate to it because there's people in the world that are basically immune to rejection!
They don't feel it in the same way that you might, and they don't fear it. And the only difference between them and someone who has issues with rejection that were kind of fears it is the way that they perceive it in their mind and that's what we're covering today.
How can you make those quick little rejection tweaks? They're gonna make rejection kind of feel like something that just rolls off your back like nothing at all!
Rejection Mindsets and Strategies:
0:57 Think of a time that you have been rejected exercise.
1:15 Disassociate yourself from the rejection.
2:44 Broaden your perspective and goals of being rejected.
4:20 Success is a numbers game (roll the dice).
5:50 STOP using the word "Rejection"
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2019 - I have said NO to life coaches after a session not because I didn't want to carry on, not because I wasn't benefiting, not because I didn't like the person. It was because I was to embarrassed to tell them I was broke. I look rich, I act rich, I talk rich. I am not rich. Not even close. My money is being sucked out and I owe every penny I have goes some where else. So do I spend my money on a life coach or do I pay my rent, house bills. I will pay those bills and buy food first before I spend it on a life coach. My NO wasn't about them. It was about me.
I fully agree with not taking it on board as a sign of not being worthy. One of the biggest turning-points in my life was disassociating "no" from my feeling of self-worth; realising it wasn't "me as a person" that was being rejected. It's the _request_ that's being rejected and there are millions of reasons why, in that time and place, that request might be rejected, very few of which have to do with the requestor. It might be a matter of criteria the requestee has to work by, a matter of resources or time, a matter of the requestee's personal tastes.
You dont get it most of the people who post in youtube that talks about rejection its always about love and shit the real rejection is about youre an outcast and no one literally likes you wherever you like if youre ugly and shit they will all laugh at you in family gaderings they gon say hes the only ugly one in your family,lets get out here hes extremely ugly its so easy to say that rejection is part of success and shit but what if you get rejected by who you are!
Who you are man its sucks coz they reject you the real you its a fuck up thing to experience!!!!!
My go-to strategy for handling rejection is remembering that it’s happened before and I’ve gotten over it before so it’s no big deal. It’s like being bulletproof, if being bulletproof meant getting shot multiple times till it didn’t bother you as much. :)
Dude i just cant i have been in same class with that girl whole high school and ik that first 2 years she prob think't of me that im some off nerd since shes kinda a bitchy type of a girl and prob doesn't like that type of guys but idk 3rd and 4th year of high school i just got into my looks and that stuff and noticed X times that she looks at me with that *I want you* look bu still idk im scared to ask her any thing since i didn't talk much with her in high school and now when high school is over now im even more confused and i don't know how and in what whey ask her to go out side with me one some date.
The key part of this video is the segment on it being a numbers game.
You really do have to just the roll the dice a hell of a lot more than everyone else around you and come to terms with luck being a factor.
Absolutely love that part.
Honestly this video is filled with advice, but as someone who feels like they’re on a bit of a cusp of a charisma breakthrough, these videos are basically inspiration porn. Thank you all so much for making these and making them available for everyone!
Charlie, i really love your videos, they been a really great help, first to endure a really hard situation and long depressión, and now to build my self and make my future step by step.
really thanks 4 everything.
This all seems like good advice but there's one issue that I don't think it addresses. When it comes to dating, it's a number game, but when you factor in social opportunities to find someone who you're genuinely attracted to, whatever standards you might have (which you discussed) and a connection; each rejection could mean many months alone. If you ask too many people, you will get a bad reputation. You can certainly spend that time on self improvement but you can end up sinking into a bad place between opportunities, wondering why you are the kind of person who is single all the time. Maybe it's just social circumstances that make opportunities spaced and rejections stick with you or maybe it's character or social status. It's something that troubles me a lot either way.
Thanks again Charlie! "Rejection = someone looking at you in totality as a person and saying 'not worthy' ". As soon as I heard that I realized "wait that's not even possible in a job interview because they cannot know anyone in totality as a person within that short time frame". I see how much of a fallacy "rejection" actually is. Wish I could give you a hug right now. You have no idea (or maybe you do) of how much this means to me. I wish I had found your channel sooner. Would've saved me a lot of heartache.
Dude , you really nailed some problems, I am
Struggling with for years.
When I read your comments people are very great full for what your doing. So am I .
Why don't u open a PayPal( or something like that ) account so people can donate.
I I'm not that kind of person who will buy a lecture , but I wil donate something after I heard something good . I think a lot of people wil do
Recently was not selected for two different jobs.At first it felt very personal but this video has helped me see the truer picture.I will continue to seek other opportunities without the fear of rejection ^_^
I'm a licensed therapist and I feel like I get so much from this channel. Very great content that actually sticks in my mind! I apply so much of this to my life. I rephrased "rejection" to "it wasn't a good fit." Thanks again, Charlie.
I love how specific you are in your explanations. From time to time I am afraid of "rejection" but over the years I have learned that, we only live once, so we need to be the best us that we can be, and try to live without regret. Later on in life there will be things we regret not doing, all simply because we were afraid of being "rejected". Because what's more important? Being rejected or being yourself and taking chances on things like asking someone out that you like, or going after a job? Always be yourself and take some chances. This video reminded me of that because recently I've been too afraid to ask out a guy that I am quite smitten with. Thank you for another great life experience video.