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How To Short-Circuit The Fear Of Rejection

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Do you ever feel like the fear of rejection is holding you back?... Discover The 4 Emotions You Need To Make a Killer First Impression: http://bit.ly/2C43VD8 Like maybe there's someone that you would have really liked to ask out, someone that you've had your eye on for a long time, but when you think about asking them out you think about them maybe saying no. Rejecting you. So you don't even want to try. Or maybe you're an artist of some kind and you'd like to share your art, you'd like to publish it, you'd like to maybe even pursue it as a career... for me, this was writing. But, when you think about being criticized or rejected for that art, you don't even want to throw your hat in the ring. If that's something that you can relate to, the good news is that you don't have to continue to relate to it because there's people in the world that are basically immune to rejection! They don't feel it in the same way that you might, and they don't fear it. And the only difference between them and someone who has issues with rejection that were kind of fears it is the way that they perceive it in their mind and that's what we're covering today. How can you make those quick little rejection tweaks? They're gonna make rejection kind of feel like something that just rolls off your back like nothing at all! Rejection Mindsets and Strategies: 0:57 Think of a time that you have been rejected exercise. 1:15 Disassociate yourself from the rejection. 2:44 Broaden your perspective and goals of being rejected. 4:20 Success is a numbers game (roll the dice). 5:50 STOP using the word "Rejection" Subscribe to Charisma On Command’s YouTube Account: http://bit.ly/COC-Subscribe Connect With Us Further: Website: http://www.charismaoncommand.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/charismaoncommand Periscope: https://www.periscope.tv/charismaon Or if you want to see my personal stuff (my regular life + me playing music): Instagram: @CharlieHoupert Periscope: @CharlieHoupert
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Text Comments (1151)
Zander Curiel (1 day ago)
My go-to strategy for handling rejection is remembering that it’s happened before and I’ve gotten over it before so it’s no big deal. It’s like being bulletproof, if being bulletproof meant getting shot multiple times till it didn’t bother you as much. :)
Marius Braun (4 days ago)
Thank you for your advice, Charlie! There's this cute girl that I would like to ask out, and you inspired me to go for it the next time I see her!
axiom (7 days ago)
the first step is what EVERYONE naturally does dude...
Silver Kane (10 days ago)
It's great to watch the video and your the who doesn't care about rejection you fell powerful Ps my english is weak
Hi9hli9ht (15 days ago)
Do you guys think being 27 is too old to approach a girl on college campus? Would they assume i was looking for sex?
Serious Peter1 (15 days ago)
Chris Hemsworth
UrBrainOnSports (23 days ago)
I'm only 2 years late to watching this
Mandy Reans (29 days ago)
I actually love you all
ThatPianoGuy (1 month ago)
Thank you so much for doing this.
HeXiC BeA3Tz Gaming (1 month ago)
I really want to go out with this girl that I’ve had a crush on for a year and a half and me and one of her best friends have had beef for years lol, should I get to know her better or drop it?
Eadyt87 (1 month ago)
Its by FAR more IMPORTANT to having a charisma fo getting a JOB than to attracts a girls,,, well girls are NEED MONEY and to get the money is to get a JOB! Job, job, job, then girl!
Just Lennie (1 month ago)
STOP STOP STOP with these how to? please talk about your experience.
Ana (1 month ago)
This is sad of me to watch this *Alexa play despacito*
Jacob Foster (2 months ago)
I don’t care about getting rejected unless i know them longer than like 2 years
Jokeré (2 months ago)
She rejected me ayyy :^)
Daphne The Lich Queen (2 months ago)
Dude i just cant i have been in same class with that girl whole high school and ik that first 2 years she prob think't of me that im some off nerd since shes kinda a bitchy type of a girl and prob doesn't like that type of guys but idk 3rd and 4th year of high school i just got into my looks and that stuff and noticed X times that she looks at me with that *I want you* look bu still idk im scared to ask her any thing since i didn't talk much with her in high school and now when high school is over now im even more confused and i don't know how and in what whey ask her to go out side with me one some date.
Max Rowe (2 months ago)
All I could focus on was how wide this guy's mouth is
A Talking Afro (2 months ago)
The key part of this video is the segment on it being a numbers game. You really do have to just the roll the dice a hell of a lot more than everyone else around you and come to terms with luck being a factor. Absolutely love that part.
Nick Gold (2 months ago)
this guy really inspired me I’ll try tomorrow
Nick Gold (2 months ago)
I’m a virgin
Baby K (2 months ago)
This video was very helpful thank you! It‘s such a great viiiiid🙏🏽😍
Charisma on Command (2 months ago)
~ Glad you found it helpful!
UR MOM (2 months ago)
why is it that im too scared to ask out my crush who likes me back to homecoming
Oliver Clothesoff (2 months ago)
Honestly this video is filled with advice, but as someone who feels like they’re on a bit of a cusp of a charisma breakthrough, these videos are basically inspiration porn. Thank you all so much for making these and making them available for everyone!
Roberto Sanmartin (2 months ago)
Charlie, i really love your videos, they been a really great help, first to endure a really hard situation and long depressión, and now to build my self and make my future step by step. really thanks 4 everything.
Charisma on Command (2 months ago)
~ Happy to hear you've found our videos helpful and glad that they're making a positive impact. :-)
Tom van der wulp (2 months ago)
“First thing to do is think of a time that you’ve been rejected...” which one of the 1727282819937329222 times?
A Thug By Choice (3 months ago)
Thanks Charlie.
ReasonableRadio (3 months ago)
This all seems like good advice but there's one issue that I don't think it addresses. When it comes to dating, it's a number game, but when you factor in social opportunities to find someone who you're genuinely attracted to, whatever standards you might have (which you discussed) and a connection; each rejection could mean many months alone. If you ask too many people, you will get a bad reputation. You can certainly spend that time on self improvement but you can end up sinking into a bad place between opportunities, wondering why you are the kind of person who is single all the time. Maybe it's just social circumstances that make opportunities spaced and rejections stick with you or maybe it's character or social status. It's something that troubles me a lot either way.
Jumping River (3 months ago)
La media sonrisa
19swaggkidd (3 months ago)
love how you address all the skeletons in my closet lol
ChikiruMEL (3 months ago)
next time i'll see the boy i like ill ask him out
Toby Walker (3 months ago)
Hey I know you probably want read this but this video has made me more confident about asking out a girl and I will write back on Monday once I ask her
Toby Walker (3 months ago)
Meant to say *wont
Julie Wedam (3 months ago)
Thanks again Charlie! "Rejection = someone looking at you in totality as a person and saying 'not worthy' ". As soon as I heard that I realized "wait that's not even possible in a job interview because they cannot know anyone in totality as a person within that short time frame". I see how much of a fallacy "rejection" actually is. Wish I could give you a hug right now. You have no idea (or maybe you do) of how much this means to me. I wish I had found your channel sooner. Would've saved me a lot of heartache.
yornav123 (3 months ago)
Dude , you really nailed some problems, I am Struggling with for years. When I read your comments people are very great full for what your doing. So am I . Why don't u open a PayPal( or something like that ) account so people can donate. I I'm not that kind of person who will buy a lecture , but I wil donate something after I heard something good . I think a lot of people wil do
Leon Louis (3 months ago)
Hehe rejection is sweet. It's a learning experience!!
Brooke Nicole (4 months ago)
Recently was not selected for two different jobs.At first it felt very personal but this video has helped me see the truer picture.I will continue to seek other opportunities without the fear of rejection ^_^
Kinga Gorski (4 months ago)
Rejection is such a harsh word.. not in my vocab. :-)
Jeff Bilyeu (4 months ago)
I'm a licensed therapist and I feel like I get so much from this channel. Very great content that actually sticks in my mind! I apply so much of this to my life. I rephrased "rejection" to "it wasn't a good fit." Thanks again, Charlie.
Charisma on Command (4 months ago)
~ Glad you're getting value from the channel Jeff!
Mistique Moon (4 months ago)
I've been struggling with a fear of getting my book published, putting it out there for every publisher and agent to say "no" to. This has helped a lot, thank you.
Charisma on Command (4 months ago)
~ Glad you found it helpful! Best of luck with the book. :-)
Stronk Komrade (4 months ago)
let's if shes interested..
Matt M. (4 months ago)
These videos are great! Keep up the good work.
William Nunn (4 months ago)
Good video, i hate rejection. I compare it with a drug high wearing off. I reframe it with the fact its moving you toward people and places that is right for you
Thanh Le (5 months ago)
Hi Charlie. I just discovered your channel. I just want to say thank you for what you are doing. I've learned a lot from your videos.#keepupthegoodworks
Mason Smith (5 months ago)
Your videos are so good at changing mindsets! Thanks, this is great!
Charisma on Command (5 months ago)
~ Hope you find it helpful!
hadi weslati (5 months ago)
Make your videos shorter then 8min...4min will be enough ! it's a feedback Big Hello from TUNISIA <3
Memey Lad TV (5 months ago)
Can we get a big F in chat for me being rejected today thanks
Adarsh Gaurav (5 months ago)
Thanks . It really helped
Charisma on Command (5 months ago)
~ Glad to hear that :-)
kowsi kowsi (6 months ago)
Jordan Potter (6 months ago)
You rock! 🤘😝😝😎
I Love Me (6 months ago)
Trueee!!! Love your videos! Learning a lot from your channel :) thanks a lot!
Charisma on Command (6 months ago)
~ Glad to hear it :-)
RapperMCEvan (6 months ago)
"rejection is a step in the right direction"
david Carter (6 months ago)
that was some awesome practical advice. Lovin' this channel
Charisma on Command (6 months ago)
~ Glad you're digging the channel David!
Caden Hearron (6 months ago)
you will miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
Crochet Delight (6 months ago)
I love how specific you are in your explanations. From time to time I am afraid of "rejection" but over the years I have learned that, we only live once, so we need to be the best us that we can be, and try to live without regret. Later on in life there will be things we regret not doing, all simply because we were afraid of being "rejected". Because what's more important? Being rejected or being yourself and taking chances on things like asking someone out that you like, or going after a job? Always be yourself and take some chances. This video reminded me of that because recently I've been too afraid to ask out a guy that I am quite smitten with. Thank you for another great life experience video.
lynagy him (6 months ago)
When in doubt whip it out. Ladies love that.
91Sapphire (7 months ago)
it is so easy for perfect human eing like you talking about these stuff
AlexMeow bleufeline (7 months ago)
Lol that skill set is called "I'm not a girl and he's not gay". I think I'll go with "move the fuck on" and not ask him out.
Hannah Evans (7 months ago)
You should make a podcast! (Seriously, please do, you have been such a great help to me).
Noname Freespirit (7 months ago)
Really useful video. You're so smart! :)
Tina Cudal (8 months ago)
Fear is subconscious, not conscious.
Mike (8 months ago)
Yeah this is all really good in theory.
1h0mas (8 months ago)
What if the girl who rejected you goes in your class and you see her everyday. This is hard dealing with...
Okay then whatever (8 months ago)
Ace Legacy (8 months ago)
The road to success is made of many failures.
Kim C Hutcheon (9 months ago)
You are a GREAT teacher, you are teaching me to be fearless. Thank you.
Charisma on Command (8 months ago)
~ Appreciate it Kim!
Louis Ricciardi (9 months ago)
Great video. Love the perspective.
Blackveilblasphemy (9 months ago)
if you never try, you'll never know, just what you're worth
LtSerge (10 months ago)
favorite video of this channel so far
Charisma on Command (10 months ago)
~ Glad you're digging it!
gulag humor (10 months ago)
I just got used to it
Relax Gang (10 months ago)
Why do i wanna get rejected
Alvaro Hernandez (10 months ago)
I finally asked out the girl I liked and she said yes thanks for the motivation
JackGeezy (10 months ago)
I'm an expert at rejection 😔
Raphael Miranda (10 months ago)
Really liked your video. Learnt alot today. Thanks!
Varun Raheja (10 months ago)
Every video I watch.. I wish I had watched it before
Bernardo Fernandes (11 months ago)
What about when you know you were rejected only for been black?
Hanna F (11 months ago)
Thanks. I really need to hear this message today!😀
Kaynã de Oliveira (11 months ago)
You helped me a lot. Thank you so much
Charisma on Command (11 months ago)
~ Our pleasure!
Jiller (11 months ago)
yes i dont care what anybody says i will continue to pursue my dreams <3
Charisma on Command (11 months ago)
~ Awesome!
chris s (11 months ago)
" Rejection comes from a fear or a feeling of unworthiness" Get around this by being very specific about what happened and what went wrong
Lilfretto Chill (11 months ago)
I gave a girl a bear that i like on valentines day and still got rejected 😭 someone helo me out i need help
g man (11 months ago)
When you throw 20 darts at the board one will hit the bullseye.
Jesse McCormack (1 year ago)
Indeed, feeling inspired to re-try some previous "rejection" scenarios, thanks, man! I need some clarity on one or two points first, though. Sent you an email with details...I hope that's cool? Thanks again!
Zachary Young (1 year ago)
Step 1: just need to tweak it a little... programming anyone?
maudlin may (1 year ago)
i’m sorry this has nothing to do with the content of this video but i just wanted to say i just found this channel recently and binged a ton of your vids, and i’ve learned a lot from them so thank you for being a great teacher!! i’ve been so obsessed w watching these half because the information is extremely useful and half because i’ve more or less developed a crush on charlie😂😂🙈
Ava Katushka (1 year ago)
I also believe that Universe leads me the easiest way, and I should let go of control how I think my dream should go to realization.
Luis Montes (1 year ago)
I think this is his best video to be honest.
Charisma on Command (1 year ago)
~ Awesome! Glad you're liking it Luis. :-)
Moon Shadow (1 year ago)
well a would totally tell him how i feel but am scared of telling him around his friends thats the problem can u plz make a video of that i mean theres people scared of that to so plz make a video of that i need to know how to get him alone or how to not to be scared of confessing infront off his friends or something like that plz make the video i need to know what to do plz😥😥😥
Soul Through Nicole (1 year ago)
I recently broke down in front of a speech, this made me happy again. This video gave me a new perspective on rejection. <3 :D
Charisma on Command (1 year ago)
~ Glad you found it insightful!
Kiya (1 year ago)
I've been dealing with rejection from familly... It's hard enough when outsiders reject you, but to have your own blood reject you.. that's what really hurt.. followed by rejection from the church and my in laws... I just want to say thank you.. for the first time in weeks I feel a sense of hope again.. It's hard for me to disaccociate myself naturally because i wa taught otherwise.. but you're right.. that rejection word is tied to our sense of self worth. I am worthy.. And I'll keep going ... because i am good enough... thank you mr. Charisma =)
KARAN RAI (1 year ago)
great idea to get rid of self doubt. thank you with all my heart. Brother keep inspiring
Saket Joshi (1 year ago)
Dude you are practically correct ! You talk sense unlike the other "how to fuck girls on the first meeting" misleading stuff ! Understandably put ! Good job ! Can't believe that you had rejections at some point too lol !
Sékou Nitoto (1 year ago)
I have to re-watch this video a few more times today, memorise it & take it to heart.
Nigel Yong (1 year ago)
Thank you! I have been dealing with this lately.
- TheonlyersF - (1 year ago)
Yolo I gueds
- TheonlyersF - (1 year ago)
Iorgo Gabriel (1 year ago)
Also in the army ,high trained soldiers are learned to not associate themself with the pain they afto pass , in extreme cases to endure torture by disassociating the mind from the body.
Henry Kroll (1 year ago)
Turning 50 and still getting rejected for being too young and inexperienced!
XSnowStorm13X (1 year ago)
I was a guy that would never get rejected wouldn't fear anything but I've had three rejections in a row and then dated a girl who simultaneously had a boyfriend and lied to me.It's been a bumpy road I had crazy amounts of confidence but now I just don't feel it in me.
Alex Amor (2 days ago)
There are gonna be a lot of people that leave you but if you keef going you'll find those who won't.
OE U (1 month ago)
Gin Winsky the weird moment when you want two people who seem really nice and want the same things to just end up together 😩 I wish you both AMAZING HAPPY FAITHFUL LOVE AND LIGHT ❤️💛❤️💛💖
Gin Winsky (2 months ago)
I understand you completely and can relate. In my case, i've dated about 5 times in my life and got cheated on every time. It's sad and it's bringing me down but i've always had the objective of being married to a faithful and good person so i'll keep on going.
Priyanka Sinha (1 year ago)
Raymond Reddington .. from Blacklist and also Lucifer Morningstar from Lucifer they just have a kind of perfectly set influence over people and they are charismatic
M Monteiro (1 year ago)
Please do a breakdown about Dua Lipa. She's so fascinating - and I've found out recently that many people felt this way about her too - but I can't quite figure out what is it that makes her so. Or maybe a video about these kind of people in general - that are not the most obvious kind of attraction but given to their style/attitude end up to be magnetic.
Adler Castro (1 year ago)
One of the most inspiring videos I've ever watched
Charisma on Command (1 year ago)
~ Glad you're finding it inspiring Adler!
Darius Palmer (1 year ago)
So basically don't take rejection personally.

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