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Why Do Guys Back Out The Moment They Develop Feelings?

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Text Comments (105)
Trek Star (5 months ago)
This just happened to me.. It sucks.. Everything was going so well... And then "bam" I think we should just be friends.
paul kue (5 months ago)
Thats how I'm feeling right now
I've Defected (6 months ago)
Guy #1 here... I really screwed up by pulling away, and I regret it. Time to move on... :(
I've Defected (3 months ago)
@Lydia Rodríguez She said and did some abusive things, and I bolted. I came back to apologize for how I handled the situation, and I offered a chance to try again. We tried for a couple of weeks. However, it ended. The end of our relationship was a good thing. She really was abusive, and I'm glad that it ended, even though I didn't end it in the most mature way.
Lydia Rodríguez (4 months ago)
What happened?
Chyna Barnes (7 months ago)
Solution... women we have it wrong we have to meet a guy that's ready....and he will have to tell u
Hampus Haglund (8 months ago)
Weird. I'm in this situation right now but she was the one who stepped back.
Lydia Rodríguez (4 months ago)
It applies to girls too. It happened to me recently.
Georgie Is MGTOW (1 year ago)
We know how women are that's why.
Lydia Rodríguez (4 months ago)
Jessica Evil Pisces (1 year ago)
If someone loves you. They will give the space you need...
barbara wright (1 year ago)
Some people are afraid of commitment because it requires responsibility and accountability.
lollipop #love (1 month ago)
@JONATHAN DOUGLAS I don't know what type of women you've been meeting.. because those two words are very bold in my vocabulary.
JONATHAN DOUGLAS (3 months ago)
barbara wright 2 words that aren’t in the female dictionary....
Sheryl Gething (1 year ago)
This is good insight👍
Anurag Bhattacharya (1 year ago)
As a gay man, I am telling you, your suggestions are very apt in the LGBT dating scene as well even though your suggestions are based on Heterosexual dating scenes. The other dating advice channels are hard to relate to.
Lauryn Comino (2 years ago)
This is true for girls too.
Surviving Narcissist (2 years ago)
100% agree
Erika Robinson (2 years ago)
Guys are too damn complicated for me. I dont have time for that I'll die single✌✌
Rushell Robinson (2 months ago)
@Badboyifier how are girls complicated. Guys have too many rules
Rushell Robinson (2 months ago)
I think so too. I thought I was the only one
Aaron Marekino (4 months ago)
R.I.P thanks for going...
Chyna Barnes (7 months ago)
Amen ..
Badboyifier (7 months ago)
Girls are too damn complicated for me. I dont have time for that I'll die single✌✌
laughnowcrylater (2 years ago)
so what should the women do about that? what do I do
Maite Perez (2 years ago)
When a guy acts like this I won't even bother. If he's not ready then it's not meant to happen.
Moon Child (2 years ago)
So what can you do about it in this situation? Give him space to let him figure it out? 😕
Lady Sonia (2 years ago)
hi my ex boyfriend  we dating once, after I left him.  I met this other man I had children for him.  After a couple of years my ex boyfriend turn up at  my door saying those children should of been his could that mean he asking for second chance?
RedPoppyist (2 years ago)
Do these types of guys ever come back?
Blanka Kasza (1 month ago)
RedPoppyist yes they do. Question is always what do you want.
d3blh01 (2 years ago)
You have great videos. Thank you.
Patricia Nguyen (3 years ago)
It's flattering if he feels this way, but maybe ... he is distant because he doesn't like me, not because he genuinely does.
asterismxx (3 years ago)
I think this is my guy spot on, doesn't want to commit because he is not over his first love, scared to get hurt again or disappoint someone again, and now I'm worried I will be like that with someone in the future, I will be emotionally unavailable just like him... it's like a vicious circle! This video needs a part 2: how do you get through to a guy like this??
HolaYarii (4 years ago)
how should the girlfriend act, positively, when he starts backing out? should i pursue him or give him his space or what?
By Grace Through Faith (6 months ago)
I think girls shouldn't pursue bc that subconsciously hurts men's egos (because they want to play the active part) The best thing a girl can do is pull away too, focus on yourself, and have an open heart when the guy comes back around. But the guy must know that you're interested in him - but also that you can really love without him. Hope this helps!
Jen nifer (1 year ago)
I wanna know too
Dulce F (3 years ago)
+HolaYarii I know it's been almost a year, but how did your problem work out? Did you give him space, and be positive, or did he distance and eventually break up?
Tiffani Monique (4 years ago)
They may go back to their ex
Angel Story (4 years ago)
I have watched all of your videos and it has helped me. If u have been dating this guy what does it mean if a guy calls u baby girl for the first time during the relationship
Natalie Gutierrez (4 years ago)
Willow R (4 years ago)
Thanks :)
Undo Typing (4 years ago)
I m experiencing this right now it hurts like real. :((((( I don't know what to do now. Should I keep going or no.
Saphi Izcool (4 years ago)
What if the guy who develops feelings for you is an ex boyfriend? I mean my ex (I haven't dated him in about two years now) has admitted to having feelings for me afew times the past 7 months, but he'd always say he hated feeling that way and he actually ended up dating his ex again (they were in an on/off relationship for about a year) I just don't understand why he always went back to her the second he thought he felt anything for me. He doesn't want her anymore though, but I don't really know what to do other than to give him space. Advice?
Abigail 7 (4 years ago)
It sounds like he doesn't bother to rebuild relationships with other people, new people BUT just goes back to the past because it would be EASIER for him to get them. Yeah just leave him, he seems so confused if he SAYS he wants you BUT hes WITH his other ex. Focus on EVERY man [action], THEN his [words]. I hope that helped.
GOD Tutu (4 years ago)
Your videos are very helpful and informative.
Heather Posada (4 years ago)
I'm a boy by the way
Heather Posada (4 years ago)
Help me
Heather Posada (4 years ago)
Ok theres this girl we tried to make it work 2 times and it didn't work so she asked me out again 2day and this is the third time I don't know if I should go out with her again
Saidah C (4 years ago)
Ok so I watched some of your videos, this guy hasn't texted me back in almost a week. I know you said in some videos "well he has probably lost interest in you". But we got into an argument and then he got really mad. He has told me in the past that he's really petty and other things. I feel like he's doing this to like "get back" at me.
Saidah C (4 years ago)
@DatingLogic about 2 months.
Heather Posada (4 years ago)
@DatingLogic help me
DatingLogic (4 years ago)
How long had you and this guy been interacting before leading up to this?
Chandra w (4 years ago)
What does it mean when a guy says it would be so easy to fall for you?
Chandra w (4 years ago)
Thank you for answering!!!! I like your channel!!!
Chandra w (4 years ago)
But its only been are second date?
DatingLogic (4 years ago)
He may think you have a really captivating personality that makes it hard not to fall for you.
foxybutterfly08 (4 years ago)
Experience tells you a lot, and also advice like this. Thanks for your videos.
rawabi jem (4 years ago)
I'm 20 and my bf is 18 we have been dating for over 2 years and a half we go on and off a lot we broke up so many times we got back together 4 months ago what i notise after we got back together he stopped being sexual attractied to me he would disrespect me sometimes like not a lot of times he would get angry at me for stupid reasons he also asked for time alone but then i broke up with him a few days ago beacuse he was talking to other girls behind my back before i broke up with him we got into a fight and he took time alone for 2 days or so and then he came back saying hes sorry and everything and he wants to fix it but i was mad at him that i didnt wanna talk to him and i ignored him for a couple of days and when i tried to get in touch again he was ignoring me and replying with short replies and i notised he was talking to other girls behind my back so i broke up with him but what's weird that he never said anything after i sent him a text saying im breaking up with u he ignored me compaletly the thing is that i love him and i want him to love me back but i dont know how to make him love me i really dont wanna lose him so can u tell me what i should do and what he is feeling about me now like why is he ignoring me and why he was talking to other girls behind my back ?!
Dulce F (3 years ago)
+rawabi jem It's been over a year since you posted this comment, but one thing I can tell you is us women and men need to understand we think differently. We react, and communicate differently. And by understanding that, and not arguing, but being positive in trying to work out the problems in your relationship straight up, would help. If you both understood that. And I know it hurts when you love them dearly, but if he's not respecting you and your feelings and needs, and going behind your back with other girls.. I think he's a teenage boy whose not emotionally stable perhaps? :/ (I have almost the same situation but I am 19)
Ashley Elias (4 years ago)
OK so I have a crush on thus guy, I told my friends and at the end of school they told my teacher who was hearing our conversation then we didn't realize there was a kid in the room and he said he will tell the guy I like him and I got scared and today my friend told me that the kid told my crush I like him I am so scared, I think he likes me but it might be in my head. I caught him staring at me one time and I stared at him and he didn't look away I got shy so I looked away idk if he likes me but it turns out my bff likes him to and they go way back since kindergarten and we are in 8th grade I am so scared and so confused what do I do!!!!
Abigail 7 (4 years ago)
Keep in mind your friends can destroy any relationship you'll have. Keep them out, TRUST ME. He is interested if he has been staring. Easy ways to show him you're interested is by sharing a smile and waving him to come over. I have done this before, it worked because I knew the guy was interested but I had noticed you are quite young, too young for relationships haha
silenceissexy77 (4 years ago)
I'm going through this right now. He got cold all of a sudden said he needed time to think .. which BTW is the 3rd time he does it he went away with his family for the weekend .I texted him to see if he got back safely and that we needed to talk since I dunno what's going on I can't help him. . Nothing back ... I text him hours later saying I was gonna let go and move on since.. I do love and care for him but he knows his silence is hurting me and i really thought he was the one .. but he wouldn't hurt me like this . Still nothing back .. it's so out of blue and unlike him. How can some who says they love you .. just drop out of the earth like that.
Krysta Monique (4 years ago)
I love your advice from a male's perspective. I have a question about men coming back. My ex, John and I met through my ex prior. He was so into me and made me feel very certain he wanted nothing more that to be in a serious relationship with me. Although I wanted to take it slow, it didn't stop him from confessing his love for me and eventually beginning a serious relationship. Convinced by his certainty, I followed his lead towards a wonderful relationship. Eventually, my prior ex found out and began threatening John and telling him he was going to "teach him a lesson". At first, John stood up for our relationship, but as the drama set in, his overwhelming feelings did as well. Suddenly, his tune changed and he began pushing me away. I suggested we break up, but he panicked and began begging for me to stay. The next minute he was filled with doubt again, and I felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride of our drama-induced emotions. We both felt that space was needed so he could get back to normal, but after three days of barely talking, I broke down and wrote him. I confessed how scared i was that he was not going to come back to me and he replied, "It is best you let me go". Heartbroken, I deleted our friendship on facebook just to find he had blocked me a couple days later. I haven't heard from him since and am trying to have faith he will come back, but there is that fear that after the fear, stress, and drama settles, he won't remember his strong feelings for me. Will he come back, or is he gone forever?
Krysta Monique (4 years ago)
I like that. I think I will move on. I guess if he was truly ready for a committed relationship, like he once was, he would have never left to begin with. Thank you! :D
DatingLogic (4 years ago)
@Krysta Monique There is a chance that he will come back. Guys often do. It may not necessarily be in the capacity you want them to though. In scenarios like this, the guy may come back for while, leave, then come back again, leave, then come back again. This happens often when you are dealing with a guy who is emotionally unstable in relationships. A part of them wants to be in one and the other part is too afraid of what could happen if they stay in one for too long. You should allow yourself to move on emotionally, as difficult as this may sound. Otherwise, you could be dealing with a guy who will simply continue messing with your emotions because he simply can't come to terms with his own.
Krysta Monique (4 years ago)
*after i deleted him as a friend on facebook, he blocked me 2 days later.
lmd639 (4 years ago)
So I have been seeing this guy who was very effusive with his compliments. He told me there is no doubt in his mind that he loves me. Tells me that I can depend upon him always....He opens up to me about his life which he is a very private person. Everything is going great...then he pulls back. I am not sure how to address this. He has told me over and over all he wants to do is make me happy and love me....tells me that I am the most incredible person he has ever met....says I am beautiful on the inside and the outside...what do I make of all this?
safier321 (2 years ago)
If you don't know him that long, then why can he say you are beautiful from inside and outside and all that bullshit he've said more? Note that..
DatingLogic (4 years ago)
@lmd639 Try talking to him about his passion. Something he really loves. This may open him up more to you so that he can begin to trust you. This could prevent him from pulling back.
Sophiaahhaahh (4 years ago)
Amazing. Love your videos
foxybutterfly08 (4 years ago)
when are you making more videos :)
Beautifuldreamer (4 years ago)
Haha where are you? We miss your videos! 
Ela Y (4 years ago)
Hi, I have a question, why do people who are in relationships still like/flirt with other people?
DatingLogic (4 years ago)
They have a safety net. They can flirt all they want, risk rejection or not, but still know that they have someone waiting for them at home. That person is their significant other. That is one of the reasons why so many people who cheat still stay in their relationships. People love toeing the line to see just how far they can go before pulling back to the safety net. It's part of human nature.
MyDarkPassenger (4 years ago)
Ok I`ve been friends with this girl for over 2 years now and she has a bf, but she gives off all these signs that she likes me, always initiates conversation, sends emoticons, kisses, even calls me "baby" sometimes. She would get jealous when I pay attention to other girls and she often asks me if there are any girls that I`m dating.I know she`s really relaxed around me and she would get kinda annoyed and mad when I ignore her or don`t talk to her for a while, but I do this because she has a bf and I don`t want to get stuck in the friendzone. Should I back off until she`s single or is she just using me for attention? Tnx
MyDarkPassenger (4 years ago)
@DatingSitesOnline I already started paying her less attention and she definitely noticed, and you`re absolutely right, all those sweet words mean nothing if she`s with her bf. Love your videos, short and always on point. Helped me a lot, thanks.
DatingLogic (4 years ago)
Your instincts are your guide. Yes, you should back off. Actions always speak louder than emoticons, texting you kisses or calling you "baby." As long as she continues to stay in a relationship with her bf, all that stuff is just a call for attention as you suspected. 
micky cabot (4 years ago)
I have a question, how do you tell if a guy really likes you or just want to be firends ?? - thank you :)
DatingLogic (4 years ago)
Since you both like being outside, you can try getting on a walking trail together. Go for a nice, leisurely walk. It's a great way to start the process of getting to know each other better.
micky cabot (4 years ago)
We like being outside and we have one mutual friend we both get along very well with. if it was winter i'd suggest we'd all go skiing but it's not. I'd like to do something that would not make it akward and where he can open up so i can learn more about him.
DatingLogic (4 years ago)
@micky cabot What do you think you two have in common?
micky cabot (4 years ago)
Thank you that is a good idea, what would you sugest ?
DatingLogic (4 years ago)
@micky cabot He may be really shy, as you have noticed. You may have to be the one to take matters into your own hands if you want this to move any further. Getting him to hang out with you would be a good first step. If you two have something in common, see if you can hang out doing that particular function. This way, it feels more natural and no one feels pressured. Then you can see how things go from there.
viperkiss BG (4 years ago)
Thank you More people need to know about you you do such good videos i wish all of you re best luck in the future
CptRazer (4 years ago)
I see.. I'm a teen and I've met this girl at a club we talked for abit exchanged some info, then we danced for abit but i was affraid to make a move (might be too fast) but after that we went our separate ways. Next day she texts me and we've been texting for 3-4 weeks now but we met only once after that night, everytime we schedule a hangout she would text me the day before or an hour or so before we meet that she can't go because family,friends etc. Just lost now, also told her i like her she replied "Okay, No worries :)" I'm kinda lost.
raheem camal (2 years ago)
CptRazer no no no are you Def? LEAVE HER ALONE
CptRazer (4 years ago)
@DatingSitesOnline Well does it help if she says sorry and would like to go out again? Also 2/3 of the time we make arrangements she already told me that she might be busy but still make them anyways just in case (it wasn't just her that couldn't make it, it was also sometimes me she would invite me to go party with her but i couldn't). I didn't straight forwardly told i her like her i kinda said "What if i told u i like u?" is that kinda the same thing? This sucks so badly. Well how would i end it though, like stop texting her and ignore her? or just tell her? (I'm also abit of an introvert, not much experience with girls)
DatingLogic (4 years ago)
She replied, "Okay, No worries :)" Really? Wow, that is all you need to know right there. She has flaked on dates with you as well, several times. That is very strong evidence that she is not truly interested. Some people do this when they just want to keep someone around to inflate their fragile egos or keep you as a third or fourth option. She is playing games and unfortunately is stringing you along with no interest of actually getting serious. You should let this one go and move on.
baltej singh (4 years ago)
That's true
Sperm Dealer (4 years ago)
wow! another great video 
Najah971 (4 years ago)
This is a great video.  Thank you.
Home Spa Allure (4 years ago)
I can understand why they feel this way, been there myself, but when a guy is acting like this, how should a girl act around him without making things worse?  How can she encourage him to take a chance with her without having "the talk" that usually doesn't go very well and may make things fall apart even faster?  Really enjoy your videos, they've helped me a lot.  Thank you for making them.
E GIBSON (2 months ago)
Be easy going and use humor, keep it light hearted and show you like him.
DatingLogic (4 years ago)
You should act patient. You encourage by building trust. You build trust by building rapport. You build rapport by sharing experiences together. Naturally, he will begin to trust you and in time he will open himself up to you. He will already have feelings for you by this point and he will not be scared because he trusts you.
Ceminha Castro (4 years ago)
I love your videos !!❤️
aki ross (4 years ago)
 this vid was helpful . cos sometimes its not so easy to understand whats going on. but so true, change is scary.
laura thurau (4 years ago)
Wow very true
Beautifuldreamer (4 years ago)
Thanks for uploading! ! You give great advice and information.

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