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PLEASE HELP***....I have been crushing for this married man over 3 months... I tried to forge a friendship with him just to see if we can proceed to the next level (sexual relationship)....WHILE WE WERE FRIENDS HE TALKED ABOUT HIS FAMILY NON STOP & TIMES THAT HE WOULDN'T LIKE TO BE DISTURBED WHEN HE IS WITH HIS FAMILY (KIDS & WIFE)* TO ME THAT WAS A RED CARD.( REJECT).. I IMMEDIATELY CUT OFF TIES WITH THIS MAN KNOWING THAT HE HAD ALREADY REJECTED ME..I FELT VERY DEGRADED & DISRESPECTED ALREADY...TO MY SURPRISE HE TURNED HIS WIFE INTO ME...BUYING CLOTHES SIMILAR TO MINE, LIP STICK, SHOES SIMILAR TO MINE**..ETC....SO I HAVE BEEN WONDERING IF HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME...AS HE NEVER MADE HIS FEELINGS KNOWN TO ME....ON MY SIDE I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE CRUSHING ON HIM*** EVEN MYSELF WHEN I MET HIM I KEPT THINGS ON A FRIENDLY BASIS& NEVER SHOW MY FEELINGS FOR HIM... EVEN THOUGH HE REJECTED ME BY HIS WORDS OF TALKING ABOUT HIS FAMILY...I NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM & WISHING WE COULD BE TOGETHER AT SOME POINT EVEN IF HE TURNED HIS WIFE INTO ME....
It helps to know such things like narcissist. Im angry for my situation but knowing about narcissist it keeps me happy Im not in the wifes situation and that he didnt manage to groom me in. And im a firm believer in Karma, I wouldnt want that happening to me or my children.
Amazing advice. Indeed, everyone is much more attractive when you cannot be with them. Also, if a man goes through a divorce once and sees that he got out of it relatively easily/ok, it's easier to divorce the second time! That's why the divorce rates for a first marriage are 50% and for a second marriage rise to 70-80%. Check it out online if you want more info. Many mistresses who managed to get the married guy to leave his wife and married them, ended up dumped later for a third woman.
This is great advice, but sometimes you have to look deeper into your soul to find the root causes of why you feel attracted to this married/unavailable man. What is it in him that you admire? It is you, too. What is it about him or the situation that causes you pain? E.g. him being cold, not choosing you, not loving you enough at the end of the say - all this are probably existing experiences from your past or childhood. You haven't worked these traumas out so now you subconsciously repeat what feels familiar to you. It is very painful, but also empowering to realize this. I am in the situation rn where there is this magnetic tension/attraction between a married man and me and it gives me the highest highs & lowest lows without any of us acting on it. The eyes just tell it all. So I force myself to withdraw physically, not showing up to the group where we would meet for some time to get a clear mind. Instead I work on my daddy issues. I never met my father, I knew he rejected me as a baby and still did when I tried to find him in my teenage years. So I always looked for love in all the wrong, mostly unavailable places. I have to deal with this rejection and forgive my father in order to be free and able to love myself first. I think many women may have this issue, too. And also, after knowing where the root cause lies you can still appreciate this married man for who he is and admire him. It is nice to like s.o. and look up to them wi thout crossing the lines. I am still working on my pain, but I believe it is very powerful to acknowledge the feelings you have and being able to own (controll) them. Best of luck to all who find thing themselves in a similar situation!
All I can say what goes around comes around. And it always come back worse. I don't care what a marry man have to offer me. He can keep it ,o dont want no destruction to follow me for committing am adultery with a married man knowing he is married....
.I Disagree, This Happen In My Family, That Man Started Dating, During His Marriage, He Had Kids Too, He Then Divorced His Wife And Remarried Back To The Other Woman, He Is Still Married To That Woman Till Today, As I Am Here Telling You This, That's Why I Disagree With This What You Said.
thank you...:) Found out my crush is married today. Broke my heart. But, right now I'm the most relaxed I've been in two weeks. I love him too much to get in the way of his happiness. I can't interfere. The pain has eased somewhat at the moment and I'm not that upset. I honestly think I can do better. Maybe someone will come my way..the man of my dreams. The one who will sweep me off my feet.
Thanks for this. I unknowingly got involved with a married man...he didn't even tell me he was married until after we've gone on dates, held hands and shared passionate kisses. Even after he told me he was married, I stuck around for some dumb reason. But this is really messing with my conscience. This goes against my morals. So lately, I've just been distant toward him. I just started nursing school and have been focused on that. The communication between us has dropped and it makes me sad, but I can't be involved with him anymore. I deserve to be a man's priority and I can never be as long as he's married. So I'm taking the advice in this video and moving on with my life. It won't be easy but it's something I have to do for my own sake and sanity.
Don’t we fall in love with ppl, not their status? What if you liked him instantly, found out he was married, then fell in love because you work together? I fell for a man who happened to be married, the same way we can fall for a man who is a father or a cook (insert any title). To fall for any person who you’ve never kissed or touched is like the ultimate love, because you genuinely like them as a person. I’m falling hard and it seems like we are both fighting the urges for the greater good, but then you will always wonder what if. Isn’t it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?
I know a lady she lives in Canada ...she was married happy ..with kids ...rich independent... her husband left her for his mistress in California . he left her house ...he never came back to his wife ...
my boos was married with 2 kids ...he was cheating. .he left his wife ..married his mistress ...they were happy ..they bought house ..vacation. . until he died couple years ago I was at the funeral she was broken.. devastated. . they been together many many years ...working together. . he died in age 55 Brian cancer I know sikh girl she was married ...she met someone else and better guy ..she divorce her first husband. ..now she is happy with 3 kids . still married
I found it insulting when a married man hit, on me once. I don't care how skinny or pretty or how much make up you wear. Married men only and always will only hit, on women with abandonment issues or have low self esteem. None of this fits my bill. Kick rocks you piece of garbage and find you a gutter bitch who needs your second hand companionship.
It’s the worst feeling ever! I was with one and things got so bad between us that his wife found out and guess what he left me 3 months ago and he’s never ever looked back again! He’s never contacted me or acknowledged at all! We were on and off for 17 years and were friends before anything! So they’d you have it ! Don’t do it it’s NOT WORTH IT
How is your situation now? I'm right in the middle of it and so angry with myself. There is a huge tension between us. But he is playing hot&cold with me. I think he is a "good man" and will maybe not approach/not act on his feelings, but damn the eyes give it all away. Probably he just wants to "look around" and have me stroke his ego. So nothing physically was happening yet and I feel so hurt and upset already. Hard to let go if you still see each other in a group setting... :(
It'll pass... believe me. Maybe going into meditation helps you... it saves my life and I could see that been involved in this kind of situation said a lot of unresolved issues I have in my life. Never stops fighting for your happiness. We have only one life... are you giving it to him?? The only life you have? It's a process that takes time, and lots of tears and frustation, but don't give up. Every word said by this man is true. And we have de power to take control of our lives. Believe me. Since you feel frustated, you are on the correct path to start over. It's not easy, but it is worthy... You may fall, but then you wil stand up again. Stronger. Wish you the best.
I think it is pretty normal to have a crush on a married man. The times I have had a crush on married men that I didn't know were married. No ring. We both felt the attraction towards each other. When I found out he was married I knew he was off limits but thought there was no harm in weirdly flirting or glancing at me. I'm a bad flirt so more like glancing or making conversation. I do not have low self esteem but the crushes I've had just let's me know my heart still works. Nothing ever comes of the crush.
daco That's tragic because here you are so happy to feel all of these wonderful emotions and BAM! You find out the person is married. Ugh! I choose to take the positive route. Our moments were nice while they lasted.
I know that this video is very old, but I just had to comment. I've never intentionally messed around with a married man, and have no intentions on doing so. But I met & fell in love with a guy who was single at the time, but married someone else about 3 months later. Even though he loved me & always said that he didn't her, a "difficult situation" pressed him into marrying her anyway. Even though he still reaches out to me, I ignore him because I was raised with morals. But I still love him though & it hurts.
I've let him go and it's heart breaking over 5 and a half years , both of us are AA members
On phone most nights catching up .. my heart broken , but I promised myself I'm not sharing him with his wife
you r really amazing, i fell in love with a married man for two yrs but i was cheated by him in the first place. He said he was divorced but after few months dating, he felt guilty. He told me he lied to me but it was me that made him know what true love is. Now He cant leave his family and i cant live without him.. what should i do?
Michelle LFY Hope you came out of the situation now. He can't leave his family. What he can do it's not in your control. But what you can do is upto you. Don't be a option in someone's life. It's all about priority. His family is his priority, & not you... He priority is his family over you. Action speaks more than words.... try to understand... the one who loves you will take a stand for you... another who pretends he loves you is using you & playing with your emotions..... It's hard to move on... but not impossible... you deserved to be loved, deserved to have a happy family... All the best
Once I find out a man is married, I mentally check him off. He is unavailable and already made his choice in life. I can do better. I deserve to be with someone who is free and who can love me freely and give me everything they have.
My wife been with me for 3 years now. She is my life. I be nothing without her. At work there is a woman who is giving me looks and a teases me. She is a pretty lady but I don't know why she keeps playing around even though I wear my ring proudly. you put some light on the situation. Thanks man. World is a Strang place
She is attracted to you and wants to sleep with you. She doesn't care that u r married. She is a homewrecker type. A ho. Only wants what she wants for the moment. Not for long term necessarily unless u both behind to have a deeper connection.
Erik Goodluck there are many possible reasons for her doing that: 1. She's is trying / testing you. 2. Just playing with you and feelings, despite she knows you are married. 3. That's one possible way for her to boost her self-esteem. 4. She wants to brag that she has been able to seduce men ... married men. 5. To feel "proud" and realize that she has the charm and beauty enough to interfere and destroy a happy marriage. (P.S. listen it from a man.) 🤔
Erik Goodluck I been married 8 yrs.eveeybody know.women want my d but don't want to b my wife. No way. I'm trying to answer my nieces questions so I saw your comment on here.just stay in love and peace my man. Safe and happy.
I'm going through his right now. I am a college and have a crush on my professor. He insinuated many things and he made me feel special, he honestly did. Then I find out he's married, throws it in my face that he's married and has a child. I'm stuck right now...I know it's wrong but I try to push away but he always finds a way to pull me in.
Gelena Torres He wants to overcome his boredom and getting u gives him that ego boost n helps him tide over his mid life crisis.. Its not worth it dear! U r young ..get the right man who can give u wat u want.
I met this guy and he was separated from his wife for quite sometime. But then after we started dating he told me he couldn't move on and he wanted his wife back. 😔 so I'm stuck now because I fell in love with him.💔
Walk away. Trust me I was in a similar predicament. The children and ex wife always will be a priority. You can do better. Be with someone who can give you the love and time you deserve. It will make you stronger.
The longer you wait.. The harder it will be to move on.. And the longer down the line it will take for you to be emotionally ready to give yourself to someone else deserving..
If he is really meant for you (loves you, respect you) they would not want to put you in such a position...
Dont let yourself be used.. Not matter what enticing things come out of it (gifts, trips etc).. These are just things to buy your self respect..
Your pain starts as soon as you enter into a relationship whos married, and it basically tells the other person its okay.. No matter how much you may protest or get promises..
Put your ego aside.. You are not the better woman.. You are not more deserving.. You are just a woman who permits this behaviour to be okay..
Don't be a sucker.. Love yourself, break this dead end path.. And move on. If hes unhappy in his marriage, its his problem to sort out.. Why should it be yours.. Dont play the saviour or martyr.. You only got yourself to blame.. And what support would you get from others.. Not much..
I know a woman whos been waiting for over 15 years.. Her prime was wasted on crumbs.. She missed out on good opportunities to be loved, married, kids.. Her own man, family to call her own.. What a f*cken waste!!
Dont be a sucker
Sky L wow!! Thank you! Damn, I love how straight up you said things. I needed to hear this. You are 100% right! It’s been so damn difficult for me. He was my first boyfriend. I then married my next boyfriend, got divorced and we got back in touch after 14 years!! My heart is so confused! He says he’s unhappy and wants a divorce, but you’re right on saying why is that MY problem. I wish I could forget him 😔
The best advice i ever heard about this. Thank you alot! A girl doesn't need a married man, he can never fulfill her, she needs to build up her life and self esteem as you said, then the true love will come.
Thank you for your advice, I actually don't want to have a relationship with him, I really don't want him to leave his wife and 2 kids. I feel tremendously guilty for liking this man. I have thought maybe if we just get together for a touch and go everything will be fine but I also think I might fall more in love. It's also hard to stay away when he looks for me....*sigh* again thank you for your advice :)
Hi Hello there, it was good to hear what you said, as I have this situation..
about 7-8 yrs ago through work - a guy liked me and would always try to get my attention, but I wasn't interested...he tried again some years later, but I still wasn't interested - - anyway he then went on to marry and have 2 children
(i didn't know that till I asked him when we met up to chat after work in Nov 2013 as you will read) - - so, towards the end of last year (2013) he came up to me again and said " I like you" BUT THIS TIME, in that very moment, something in me changed and for the first time ever I liked him. After all this time I had a feeling for him. But, (there's always a but)
when we met up after work to chat it was then I discovered he got married.
He wanted to tell me that I was the one he wanted all those years ago, but as I never responded to his advances he figured I would never look at him.. and yes he's not happy at present. I now feel that he should have been my husband. But, as he is married I won't go there.. it does hurt..but there are too many reasons to not get involved.
From Katriona Murphy London England UK x x
Katriona Murphy. Sorry for you, my friend, but women don't know what they want. You mean you always ignored him for such a l o n g, loooong time? And then, all of a sudden, "a magic wand made you" start loving him? Something has been wrong with you. Please, take it as a constructive criticism. My intention is very far from trying to offend you. Just trying to advise and warn you for the future. 🤔🤔🤔
You already said it, "...but there are too many reasons to not get involved." You already know where this will lead if you pursue it. Just look at this as part of a life experience that can only make you stronger and more aware.