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Why Does He Flirt And Show Interest And Get Close, And When You Reciprocate, He Pulls Away?

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Text Comments (117)
Vee Ahr (9 days ago)
He might not be sure about his sexuality. That just happened to me with my straight friend.
Cara B (14 days ago)
This is definitely my situation, what do I do?
Merina J (27 days ago)
Regular human being :)
BELLA FEMMA (27 days ago)
THANKS the most confusing I have ever encountered
Chanel Knight (1 month ago)
I'm going through this now . This guy approached me asking why am I always running from him when he try to talk to me , I said what do you want to talk about ?? He said nothing . After he said that I started speaking to him everytimr I see him .. today he asked me when are my off days that's it . He always have small talk then dissapear like wtf is he going to ask for my number
Paula Ross (1 month ago)
If a guy teases you - look at you from head to toe- call your name - and smiles at you - DO HE HAVE A CRUSH ON ME !! He haven't really said anything cause we work together. I need to know what I should do HELP PLEASE
SempraLaura (1 month ago)
Same here. Cute guy at work. Every time I pass him he gives me incredible smiles! Like obvious real big ones. Meet cute type stuff. A few weeks later I got his name and pinged him on bbg chat. He did t even know who I was until I told him. It was perfunctory at best. Just a bunch of dull questions and then he said he had a client meeting. Never heard from him again. Am I stupid? I still see him and don’t look his way and just avoid. I thought it was on me to say something. He made a joke about asking what he could do to make my day better and playfully responded “how about a coffee or cocktail” bc we first saw each other at the Starbucks. I don’t get it? What’s the point if you have no desire to even speak to me. God I feel like a stalker or something!
Carrie Fawcett (1 month ago)
OMG! So much clarity, thanks so much🇦🇺👌🤗
Amber FFTFOMSICHTS (2 months ago)
This happened to me recently, what angers me is he is the one who initiated everything, we talked forever, on a regular basis, asked me to hang out, made plans to then ghosts me out of nowhere. I will never chase an Insecure ass game player.
E GIBSON (2 months ago)
Flirting is not supposed to always be taken seriously. The vast majority of the people you flirt with nothing will come of it and nothing is supposed to. It is fun and something to engage with another person. Nothing is wrong with leaving it just as that. People have been doing this for eons. Now if you start getting ideas in your head bc this person is flirting , you are filling in the blanks with your own wants. Flirting with a woman does not mean he is playing with your heart nor does it mean he automatically wants to sleep with you. It could just be for entertainment and to make each other feel good and to interact. Like when someone compliments you, it doesn't always mean they want something.
XRC (3 months ago)
Happened to me so many times with various men, I have lost count. Every time I would blame myself that I scared them away or that I looked too desperate or that I am not attractive enough for them to actually date me or that I am an idiot who misread friendly gestures or whatever. And every time it was revealed later on they had a girlfriend all along. I'm just glad I'm not the one to blame. It is too harsh when the only way you know how to deal with rejection is blame yourself.
Z. B. (2 months ago)
Don't worry sis, a girl is doing this to me now. She made it seem like she liked me than poof she just ignores me.
laptop laptop (3 months ago)
This is happening now. He always liked me and flirts with me to no end emotionally and teases the fact that I'm the "one". I was hesitant for about two months but he was persistent so I finally gave him my number...he never called. No big deal oh well his loss we still work together,one day he said didnt call cause he lost his phone. Ive Given him my number again weeks passed and still no call I asked why keep flirting with with no intentions he said in the sincerest way possible to mankind that hes so sorry he has a lot thing happening with relatives and had to pick up another job and he have no sleep anymore which gives him less ability to communicate to everyone, I felt bad and said okay and he said hes off on a Tuesday let's go out. Tuesday come and goes and here we are again. We have been good friends prior to any attentions to date,but after this it's hard for me to have any respect for him even as a friend, nevermind a significant other. I'm starting to think he had no interest at all in dating me,and from the grapevines I heard he just got into a new relationship. So I'm questioning Was him not calling was his subtle rejection. I let him pass my guarded walls for him to reject me and find someone else instead. It's just wrong to lead someone on like this and I never been rejected like this so I dont know how to act like we're still the best of friends if he couldn't be upfront and say that he was no longer interested
Summer Girl (3 months ago)
My ex does this. He flirts with me, is attracted to me, but he doesn t want a relationship with me again yet..
girls fun (3 months ago)
why ? BECAUSE YOU LET HIM DO IT it becomes like a drug he treats you so badly then gives you little empty fake attention to keep you hanging
Matilda Kapell (3 months ago)
This is so true, this happened to me wow.
Chelsea Nolan (4 months ago)
Wow. This is the BEST explanation I have EVER heard, and I’m not even exaggerating. I’m experiencing this exact scenario. It sucks, but damn I dodged a bullet and refuse to be manipulated again. (I have a child with a narcissistic disordered man) I am content with being single indefinitely, or maybe become a lesbian❤️ Thank you dear!!
Monala Neutral (5 months ago)
If he's playing with my feelings he gots to go, if a person is not ready to move on stay single until you are ready and don't waste people time.
Princess Tee (5 months ago)
Because men are mad! Lool
Dove Cinder (5 months ago)
I'm really confused. Sometimes I hear my crush talk about me with his friends, but then he's too scared to talk to me for some reason, but he isn't afraid to say ”hey beautiful” to me but I'm not sure if he meant me maybe maybe not and then I just get confused. And I heard he has a sister. Well I assume that they are related because they look a bit similar. His sister is in my history and his sister gives me this look like she knows something which is strange... I don't know what this means at all... He tries to say hi to me sometimes but I'm kind of scared to say hi back to him. Before the bell in school, I would start leaving early, and then a few days later he does the same too what does it all mean?
punisher white (6 months ago)
that's correct i do this . you even explain my actions without me knowing mann. lol
I really need your advice, I work with my crush and he’s the one who flirted with me first. At work he calls my name and we have a good conversation and whenever my shift is over earlier than his, he stretches his arm out so that I hug him. I text him if we could play online together and he agrees but he never played with me or messaged back. I’m confused, does anyone have tips for me?
BabyCakes (6 months ago)
Very true. I’m a girl, and I have done this before (I know it’s wrong)
Deqa Abdi (7 months ago)
After 12 months of flirting I doubt it he is dealing with something or someone in his life.
Happy2bFree (10 months ago)
Either he's married or has a girlfriend. He is a jerk who just likes to flirt for ego purposes! #Truth
Lindsey Hebert (11 months ago)
I am dealing with this pain
Z. B. (2 months ago)
Me too as a guy a girl just ghosted me.
Nice2347 (1 year ago)
Why not do a unisex video on this? Girls do this shit too.
Being Shweta (1 year ago)
Hat's off to your level of understanding. Thanks.
Chioma Philomena (1 year ago)
Guys are selfish....he flirts with me but I can't flirt with him? Sorry, but that's NOT okay. It hurts, if you don't know that.
Dhumma Vati (1 month ago)
Amen. He's essentially being the male equivalent of a cocktease -- something men find appalling and aggravating...but it's OK when they do it? Double standard guys, not to mention cruel and rude.
Nouran Zakaria (1 year ago)
What should we do then in this situation? Is it right to just keep him as a distant friend? I told him I don’t wanna get too close like before and that he needs to respect my limits currently. And he agreed to that. And we although he tries speaking to me but I don’t always reply and we are not as close. But is that right? Or should I just cut him lose? Because he is currently posting many pics with girls he told me he didn’t even like and he is flirting and commenting to them. As if that would get me jealous or something.
nani (1 year ago)
Yeah it's really irritating..i don't know what to do
A P (1 year ago)
I hate men.
Brandon Wombacher (3 months ago)
Men Hate U To
Grand Old Soul (4 months ago)
@Kinks & Curls Perhaps if woman would stop blaming men for all THEIR problems it would open the door to constructive conversations.
Deqa Abdi (7 months ago)
Be in relationships is so streeful.
Grand Old Soul (7 months ago)
translation. she loves men
Life of Jazmin (8 months ago)
Madam Sophia (1 year ago)
I'm with a guy I adore. He says he likes a lot of space...the lone wolf. We get close on weekends, then he is cold as ice through the week. It's been like 2 months of dating. Can a guy who enjoys control & space (from everyone) even fall in love?
Madam Sophia (1 year ago)
So how can we react to cause a shift, help him be at peace, & fall in love.
Laurette148 (6 months ago)
Madam Blue wondering the same .
the end (1 year ago)
fantastic channel, thanks man, keep up the great work! so good to see someone talk sense, to the point and in such short videos!
pooja suresh (1 year ago)
This is so true omggggg
kristin lee (1 year ago)
Ugh. I hate when guys do this and they shouldn't. To them yes, flirting with a girl is fun and makes them feel good, but to a girl it's misleading and unfair. And in my experience it's not just brief flirtation as he passes by in the hallway, it's pretty heavy come-ons. And then you find out they have a GF. Been there a million times
SempraLaura (1 month ago)
Same here. Cute guy at work. Every time I pass him he gives me incredible smiles! Like obvious real big ones. Meet cute type stuff. A few weeks later I got his name and pinged him on bbg chat. He did t even know who I was until I told him. It was perfunctory at best. Just a bunch of dull questions and then he said he had a client meeting. Never heard from him again. Am I stupid? I still see him and don’t look his way and just avoid. I thought it was on me to say something. He made a joke about asking what he could do to make my day better and playfully responded “how about a coffee or cocktail” bc we first saw each other at the Starbucks. I don’t get it? What’s the point if you have no desire to even speak to me. God I feel like a stalker or something!
The Great One (10 months ago)
kristin lee now you know how is guys feel with woman who are big flirts.
Tess Chen (1 year ago)
Are there any solutions to this?
Ms.Lorna (1 year ago)
Omg! I can relate
So that means he likes me Does that mean I have a chance with him
Well he flirts back
Allyn (1 year ago)
Okay. This is happening to me. So, should I just ignore the next time he messages me? Give him a taste of his own medicine. Idk. Turn the tables a little bit?
Katrina Arbis (1 year ago)
I'm going through this right now. I have a crush on this guy that I work close with... and he flirts with me all the time and always tries to make me laugh. He texts me when we're at work and he comes and visits me at my job.. we talk for a little bit then he's rushed to leave... I don't know if I have too much power when I flirt with him? He just seems like he doesn't initiate anything else after the workplace flirting... it drives me insane. I guess I just have to get over him.
Carrie Fawcett (1 month ago)
You're young and beautiful, he spunds like an absolute dickhead!! Definitely let him go fuck elsewhere. Eventually he'll fall on his swords.
The Crab & The Fish (1 year ago)
Men are so stupid
Hmea (1 year ago)
The Crab & The Fish ikr lmao
Tori7022 (1 year ago)
There is literally no other excuse for this behavior, you completely nailed it on the head. It is all about manipulating a person. I tried to believe it was more innocent than that, it wasn't. The person is insecure and wants control again.
Jarhonda Gamble (2 years ago)
My current situation..he has pulled back so I decided to fall back too. Now there's no communication between us
Cara B (14 days ago)
Jarhonda Gamble same do you think I should just move on
Cobra SS (8 months ago)
@Happy2bFree Never too old. I'm 52 and I get young men in their 20's. I played their games and now they are hooked. I just walk away Everytime. Young boys don't do anything for me. Just an ego boost
Happy2bFree (10 months ago)
Right,me too! Too old for fames!
Allyn (1 year ago)
Jarhonda Gamble me too! Well, I've decided that I was going to ignore him the next time he messages me. One day he'll send me ultra sweet and flirty messages. Then, when i reciprocated a couple days later, he didn't respond. I don't want to get caught up in his game and give him all the power. I think I'll try giving him a dose of his own medicine. I was afraid that if I did that, we would lose contact altogether. Like, what if he could care less and I was just a pass time, and he doesn't care if I don't respond to him. But, that just has to be a chance I'm willing to take. If he's. or the one, he's not the one. And if I don't hear from him after that, I'll get over it and meet someone else.
Vanessa Carbajal (2 years ago)
thank you again ! your logic is so true !
Shtangarang (2 years ago)
I've come to realize this is 100% me. Natural flirt with women, but when things seem real I back out. The only somewhat difference in the video would be the reason behind it. I choose to be a flirt for fun, but I refuse to get serious because all i can ever think about is the mental state of mind my ex-girl put me through for months. So many girls I've led on and backed out of for this particular reason.
Black Rose (2 years ago)
Shtangarang I got my crush's number without his permission (he put his phone number on social media for fans and sponsors to contact him since he is an actor/model). I tried to contact him by a phone call but i didn't want to seem to be eager to talk to him or a stalker, so i acted like his number was saved by someone in my phone under no name and that is why i called him to know to whom belongs the number ! He replied and denied that the phone number belongs to him ! He gave me a false name (maybe he thought it's a trap or someone is trying to troll him) but when i said my real name he acted like he doesn't know me even though i'm the sister of his brother's wife and he shared a dance with me( not even his friend who came with him) at their wedding in front of everyone ! When i was calling i heard some people (probably his friends) talking to him maybe he ignored me because he didn't want to get teased or me to heard something ? Maybe he thought that some girl is trying to talk to him using my name ? He is a celebrity and girls are fighting over him in social media and real life. Maybe he felt that it is going real and this is why he also pulled away ?
Reality B.S (2 years ago)
and he freks out.
6980MulhollandDrive (2 years ago)
"Control" is the key word here. "Manipulation" is the other. Don't let anybody treat you like this people!
Mb S (2 years ago)
this is what my 'he' is doing these days.
Mb S (2 years ago)
please tell how to react! your vids have helped me a lot dealing with my crush lately! per your vids he seems to be a player!
Mb S (2 years ago)
how to react to this sort of a person, this horror movie stuff is going on in my life at work..
Ricardo Martinez (2 years ago)
it is cool couse your stuff that i listen to it works around my crush
SpacecowboiKilu (2 years ago)
This is kind of how I feel with someone I'm seeing now We're getting closer but I don't think he necessarily WANTS a relationship with me. However I am ready for one and would like to keep moving forward. I think he's just in a place in his life where he doesn't want to jump into anything serious, he probably didn't expect us to hit it off so well after our first date. I also think he wants to see what else is out there..Idk if his all that attracted to me tbh : ( I'm not really his type based on looking at his exs..it sucks but what can you do. I can only move on and expand my horizons.
d3blh01 (2 years ago)
Love your videos.
TheEvolvedegg (2 years ago)
U r the realest relationship expert I hv seen on u tube...the shit is so real I been watching these videos one after the other n now i feel like Im talking to a very wise friend about my feelings n well thank u wise friend!
G Zta (2 years ago)
thank you so much you just answered the question that's been lingering for awhile
A.Tanyale (2 years ago)
I think you just decribed what happened to me. for months a guy has acted interested, flirted, showed concern, hugged me every time he saw me. Then last week announces that he has a girlfriend! He looked at me and told me a few months ago that he was single. I was trying to be patient and not pressure him.
Killuminatisx blupp (2 years ago)
What are some of the signs of a guy being affraid of being in a relationship but he likes you?
Black Rose (2 years ago)
Killuminatisx blupp This video is all aboht what you wanna know.
Glad Harris (2 years ago)
That's true because I met him five years ago though I call him from time to time since there were no balance though I went on with my life thought I'll check it though he had conversation however we've seen one another the day we met though he seem to be a gentleman at the same time comments on how I should take his number because he this or that though he like the way I'm fitting them jeans though I should get involved into something he's interest go on about how I can do that..woo
aimi anetor (2 years ago)
im going through something identical to this. there is a guy i care for who flirts, shows interest, gets close, we have very intimate and deep conversations about our lives. we cuddle each other at nights, he treats me like someone he is romantically interested in. we share kisses, then when i let him know how i feel, he says he only wants to be my friend. i dont understand. i tried to get a consultation but the link doesnt work.
Blanka Kasza (6 months ago)
aimi anetor I had the exact same situation. Send him to space. Its fake. Don’t settle for less. It took me 3 years to get to this point where I can pass all the hurt he caused. Its not worth it.
Yejide Olutimehin (1 year ago)
aimi anetor tell him friends don't cuddle.
kristin lee (1 year ago)
Carissa Carrafa (2 years ago)
aimi anetor I had the same thing happen to me
Mama Funk Groove Junky (2 years ago)
I like you the way you come across
Lyndsey N (2 years ago)
spot on! for real. I mean. its so true.
lanaisthere (2 years ago)
Everything you talk about is so TRUE. This guy in my class flirts with me all the time but when I flirt too he kind of backs out, and recently I discovered he's still in love with his ex girlfriend.
Rooftopdreams (2 years ago)
That is so true :P
6980MulhollandDrive (2 years ago)
Rooftopdreams And some headache as well xD
Rooftopdreams (2 years ago)
Good that he backs out, save u some heartache!
angie Wehrle (2 years ago)
Spot on !!!! Your awesome. Such great insight and knowledge, mans perspective is a plus !! When I don't respond to his texts. He bombards me .. Now I will just block him.
Melsain Bebe (2 years ago)
I'm dealing this kind of situation right now.he flirt with me before.I've met him last Dec.and until now we are dealing this kind of stuffs we had sex already.but we don't have any relationship because he's married but he told me I'm special to him.we are not dating only the two of us..should be with my friends..but I really love this guy.what should I do I need him to miss me..I'm just the one initiating contacts
Saoirse Sheridan (3 years ago)
good deep stuff thanks for the wisdom cheers!
Martha White (3 years ago)
This is what I am currently dealing with, and it's hard. I like him but the withdrawal is upsetting and so I am going to step back. Just the way it is and I need to protect myself. Thanks for making these videos, they are really great.
Rooftopdreams (2 years ago)
and u can open ur path to the right person to come in! <3
Sara Liu (3 years ago)
Can you tell me and you still into him or have you moved on since?
Patricia Owens (3 years ago)
I think that is it...sounds right. We will be just really good friends. And that is ok.
Dhumma Vati (3 years ago)
Thanks for the insight. This has definitely happened to me. I now realize it was mainly because he was married (unavailable) yet also doing some work for me (felt he had to stay on my good side) -- not a good combination. And I liked his attention, so I encouraged it. (Nothing blatantly naughty happened or was said.) We were both getting positive attention, but at a potentially VERY high cost because I'm married too (though heading for divorce & he didn't know that at the time). That's all a quite unstable mix that could blow up the chemistry lab. I wanted to nicely let him go/not renew his contract & told him why. We both agreed that we shouldn't deal with each other, but my spouse insisted on dealing with him. I no longer did. Once the guy's work was up & he'd been paid 6 months later, I spoke on phone with him at length. We had feelings for each other, but he said he didn't think it was a good idea for us to have contact with each other. I agreed & we've not spoken since. That was about 2 months ago. I intend to keep things that way, & I've since moved far away. My point? Sometimes things are WAY more complicated behind the scenes than the woman knows & in the long run he's doing her a favor by pulling back.
Veronica Alise (4 years ago)
Thanks very helpful!
Sunethra (4 years ago)
This is exactly what is happening. And I have been giving this guy time (as he has so many things on his plate with his mother (health)/career peak/immigrating to new country) and so now I have just been talking less as its been 6 months and I don't want to indulge my heart..being cautious (plus I have been busy). He does care but maybe once he settles he will know exactly what he wants. He still talks to me but I am kinda trying to make him work for me. If he really wants me, then he should reciprocate back..if not then guess time to move on. 
Dhumma Vati (3 years ago)
Any time. As I said, "Been there." 
Sunethra (3 years ago)
Thank you for the support.
Sunethra (3 years ago)
Ya true :(....I really like him. But nothing I can do. He acts like he likes me but he isn't making a decision. I can't wait forever. I have been struggling almost a year. He knows how I feel exactly.
Dhumma Vati (3 years ago)
@Sun K That's the spirit! As Maya Angelou said: "Never make someone a priority when you are only an option to them."
Sunethra (3 years ago)
Yes I have recently let go of my thoughts to conquer him. His loss not mine. If he wants me he should call and make more of an effort.
BUPBÊ INC (4 years ago)
thank you, youtube uncle
Renee Kim (4 months ago)
Reeya Rana (1 year ago)
Angie Doss (5 years ago)
Yes!! You nailed it again! I just love you!
JE ENN (5 years ago)
what can i do about it??? is there anyway so he won't freak out? 
DatingLogic (5 years ago)
Try to get him to hang out with you doing something you know he loves. 

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