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The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating

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Link to 3 ways to start a conversation video: https://goo.gl/a58xcW The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating There is one thing that ruins more relationships than any others. And while the examples I give are from my own life, this is true for men and women, straight, gay, it doesn't matter. That thing is neediness. It often looks like obsessiveness, meaning you start imagining what it would be be boyfriend and girlfriend after one encounter, discussing kid names, giving larges gifts, talking to them about your future together in early dates, or when you spend all day thinking about why they didn’t get back to that text you sent. And it’s repulsive. And it’s the biggest thing that messes it up right after you meet someone you really like. And I want to give you three simple things and one harder thing that you can do to fight neediness - because if you’ve got it, it can kill a relationship before it begins. Trust me, I’ve experienced it plenty of times. Keep in mind this specific advice is for early in a relationship 0:51 Trying to contact them every single day 2:37 Pleading when they can't meet up 3:55 Changing your schedule to fit theirs Subscribe to Charisma On Command’s YouTube Account: http://bit.ly/COC-Subscribe Connect With Us Further: Website: http://www.charismaoncommand.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/charismaoncommand Periscope: https://www.periscope.tv/charismaon Or if you want to see my personal stuff (my regular life + me playing music): Instagram: @CharlieHoupert Periscope: @CharlieHoupert
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Text Comments (1632)
KFJI (3 days ago)
If my Ex girlfriend would have watched this video, the relationship could have been one of the best things in my life. But nope, neediness just destroys everything ... especially when she wanted me to give up on my friends and hobbies in order to spend more time with her. Thats a total no go.
Ari Okubo (4 days ago)
This video is so true oml
Tekdrake (6 days ago)
Heaven fucking forbid I wanted to talk to my significant other every single day. That's just soooo entitled and needy and creeeeepy! I fucking hate this planet.
Madame Weirdo (6 days ago)
Ι slow clapped at the end of the video
JohnnyProgress (6 days ago)
Date yourself before anybody else!
Gilberto Vaught (7 days ago)
Works for guy-guy dating. As someone who met up with a needy person, the insistence does not reflect well. Things were going well with someone I was seeing until I had work-related plans conflict with my date’s proposed date night. When I let them know I was unavailable They wanted me to “just cancel.” and be with them. I was instantly turned off.
afro symphony (7 days ago)
Nahh men fuck that girl. you dont have to punish yourself for her flaky ass. The both of you were sending the same signals to each other so if flaked out on you, its on her and not you at all. what you did was perfectly reasonable, its just lovebird behaviour. if she truly liked you she wouldnt have flaked out on you.
Sam Dotson (7 days ago)
Wow I think is one of your most profound videos. Thank you
The Piano Haven (7 days ago)
The first one depends on the context. If you two like setting a regular routine to say hi and wish each other a good day over text and then spend the rest of the day doing what you love, contacting each other every day is completely fine. If on the other hand you're noticing that you're always trying to get the other person's attention every day and it's one-sided, this mistake definitely fits.
dean0o0o (8 days ago)
Lock your wife in the trunk with your dog for 8 hours. When you open it, which one is happy to see you? Get a dog.
Travis Kemper (9 days ago)
No I can't cancel wednesdays plans with my friend. #BBH
Rosa Luna (9 days ago)
Sketch it D.I.Y (13 days ago)
Haha my first date failed and I didn’t do any of these mistakes, I did worse
David Cheng (15 days ago)
Mistake number 1: you didn’t SUIT UP
Sam Al-Awami (16 days ago)
To sum things up: GET A FUCKING LIFE!
Nathan Liu (18 days ago)
Jerry Perez (19 days ago)
Amen! Amazing video!
Charisma on Command (9 days ago)
Glad you like it, Jerry!
AB Crane (20 days ago)
I tell my boyfriends/friends: my projects are central to who I am, they do come first, and I would not want to be with anyone whose own life work/creative projects did not come first too. life purpose is the most attractive trait on anyone. bonus if it involves entrepreneurial/artistic/innovative flare:) lucky for me, some of my projects are collaborations with these awesome friends--win win!
Kcon Vlogs (21 days ago)
Holy shit I’m needy
Patti Funk (25 days ago)
His teeth are brighter than my future. His mouth is wider than my circle of friends.
jhx97 (27 days ago)
The last one was basically the reason i broke up with my ex... If only i had appreciated myself more and found this video before...
bevrosity (27 days ago)
sounds like youre dating girls who like games too much. i find dating better when the person is beyond that. or plays fewer games at least. theres nothing wrong with talking to that person everyday if you really lije them and thats what you wanna do. just dont smother each other.
MyNamed Name (28 days ago)
Ah dammit, I'm so done with this, so freaking complicated
Onyksa (28 days ago)
Not contacting them everyday? Whooops, my girlfriend is in the same class as me.
Sasuke Uchiha (1 month ago)
Women: want men to be chivalrous and big-hearted, but don't be too nice, don't be available all the time and don't place women on a pedestal. Men: want a women to not play games and be real.
Sasuke Uchiha (1 month ago)
Sooooo what if a girl says she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now bcuz she is going through something? Any chance she'll come around?
Daniel Hance (1 month ago)
I'm new to this channel, and I absolutely love his advice. There's a book called M.A.C.K tactics written by the former lead hostage negotiator from Las vegas. He had a degree in criminal psychology, and applied his ability to gain trust in tense situations towards dating. Its really the most practical approach towards dating I've ever known, and a lot of the methods in that book are discussed in these videos.
Kite (1 month ago)
There's this girl that I like, and well let's say I want to ask her out. This gave me a lot of knowledge what not to do in our future relationship (assuming she says yes)
Jimbeaux Slice (1 month ago)
MGTOW is the only winning move. Walk away. Don't play the game.
Marcus Mravik (1 month ago)
I think it's funny how life just bothered to tell me this just now xD
Shannon and Jill Show (1 month ago)
Always looking for great insights thank you! I’ll be sharing with my friends and followers!
Fancy Pickle (1 month ago)
Don't be clingy people, I and obviously Charisma over here learned that the hard way
Ryan Deffley (1 month ago)
This is a great video! Until you become good with women and master indifference, it can be very easy to act needy. It's human nature to long for connection. Also as men we're hardwired to be goal oriented and want efficiency. So it can seem better to want to speed things up. But women go at their own pace and you need to allow space for them to miss you over time.
Pedro Michel Parks (1 month ago)
This guy is SO-CUTE!
Starun (1 month ago)
Please for the love of fking god why did I not watch this last week. OH MY GOOOOODD
Harrison Kelly (1 month ago)
Dude I've done ALL of these things😂
Anthie Iliopooulou (1 month ago)
You are a babe and not sure how these women were funny with you
Joe's Productions (1 month ago)
If only I saw this video 2 minutes ago...
Detective Bohobe (1 month ago)
Wonderful video!
J Car (1 month ago)
always good advice brotha, just experienced this and learned these emotions recently, spot on advice
Charisma on Command (1 month ago)
Glad it resonated with you! Thanks for watching. :-)
beautoxxbeautoxx (2 months ago)
Ughhhhh ...it's like you're speaking to me directly. Thanks sexy;)😘
Figure Collection (2 months ago)
Yes there is nothing more annoying in a relationship than communicating daily and staying on each others minds. All good marriages are built on Apathy!
Michael Martinez (2 months ago)
Fuck it, I’m perfectly happy with my body pillow
I like watching this channel pretending I'll ever have a romantic interaction with a woman
jmacsss (2 months ago)
I am asexual
Lulu (2 months ago)
I feel like this video could have been elaborated on further if it wasn't limited to dating but rather " The biggest mistakes people make in relationships". So any type of relationship whether it be friendly, professional or romantic.
Ana Justice (2 months ago)
love this guy!! Good common sense advice.
Devin Jewell (2 months ago)
Damn, I think I’m the needy type. I talk about valuing my time allot but Iv always been extremely flexible for people. Honestly this is probably something that contributed to the failure of my last serious relationship
Mareike Einfachso (2 months ago)
Just what happened to me a few weeks ago .. I could really feel the other person sliding away from me but when I had realized that it was already too late
MemoryDestiny (2 months ago)
Ugh, i did most of these when i was 15, makes me feel so embarrassed about it, i gotta say i learned a lot just by living and failing, best thing. Doesn't hurt to get some help tho!
Madea's Family Christmas (2 months ago)
I’ve been dating for a girl for two years. We text each other every day, she usually texts first. Maybe we have a special case or something, idk. If two people love each other, I think it’s really silly to be worrying about “uhhh do I text her today or is she gonna think I’m talking to her too much,” and if your partner does think you’re needy then that relationship probably won’t last too long. Just be yourself, there’s someone out there who can love that.
Nadine Melger (2 months ago)
But don’t you reflect the fact that you are always there for someone if you always say yes if they ask you but don’t ( or not much) ask them yourself?
Michael Tkaczevski (3 months ago)
How many relationships have you had?
SHADO lancer117 (3 months ago)
Some people just have HORRIBLE luck
Tanki - Cubed (3 months ago)
I absolutely love how i did all 3 things with the same girl. Well, improvement happens with time.
Genocide Hero (3 months ago)
My biggest mistake is being ugly.
Dana Khalil (3 months ago)
Thank u so much for this i love u
Roman Bernytskyi (3 months ago)
I can totally relate to that. This is accurate for gays too
Jasmine Houston-Burns (3 months ago)
Great advice.
Charisma on Command (3 months ago)
~ Thanks Jasmine!
ReasonableRadio (3 months ago)
"I don't beg I don't plead I've never done that" .... I really I had been thinking that
roard11 (3 months ago)
Your square head looks like something taken from a computer game figure.
TheDreamJP (3 months ago)
I needed this, thanks
U have the best smile.
Mike Luna (3 months ago)
Men are worse than women when it comes to neediness.
Cathy Shepard (3 months ago)
Just remember people, THEY’RE PEOPLE TOO with their own lives, wants, and dreams. Don’t fall into the idea that dating is a game, it’s an extension of friendship and wanting to further develop a relationship with someone you care about. This video is talking about how not give into the excitement that dating brings and accidentally scare that special person off, that is all. Hope you all have a wonderful day!
GD Ambidextrous (3 months ago)
Thank u dude.... U have no idea how much I NEEDED to hear this.
Charisma on Command (3 months ago)
~ Our pleasure!
iHelloway (3 months ago)
step 1 : trial by combat
iHelloway (3 months ago)
step 1: u meet girl , date was succesfull step 2: u try to arrange next meeting step 3: she cancels the date step 4: she tells u it`s too late resolution : women can`t make up their minds, don`t take responsability & making it your fault solution A? : lie to them giving them supernatural charm, them until they get attached to you and you talk more freely ... solution B? : get a six pack & ugly girlfriend solution C? : hands down ... best solution ? *drums*
steve boone (3 months ago)
The biggest issue I have with the dating scene is people getting nosy and telling every girl I show interest in that I'm out to ruin their lives.
Drenov (3 months ago)
So you took the relationship to te next level? So what happened did you get married then?
miracle brightness (3 months ago)
what are you studying?
Diego Balian (3 months ago)
You are a genius and your vids are great! Subscribed! Keep it up man
Charisma on Command (3 months ago)
~ Glad you're loving the videos! Welcome onboard. :-)
raspberr1es (3 months ago)
I really appreciated this. The practical ways for how to make yourself reminded of your own value are helpful because now I can implement them. Thank you!
Charisma on Command (3 months ago)
~ Glad you're finding the tips useful!
Life of MaMuT (3 months ago)
Hahaha. Until a girl tells you she dosnt wanna see you anymore cuz you are to bussy and dosnt show enough intereeest.
MrEverisforever (4 months ago)
10000000% I always live by these.. I sometimes give in but I'm aware of these rules
Jennifer Davis (4 months ago)
This works with friends too.  I see some things going sideways with one of my friends.  I did not know until I saw this video.Thank you.
Greg Chin (4 months ago)
Dude thank you for this video it's funny this actually touches on a situation was in. I would drop everything for her.
Spin-chan Art (4 months ago)
I've tried not to be needy but he didn't answer in months ... I was stupid
Midnight Adams (4 months ago)
Really good video
Charisma on Command (4 months ago)
~ Thanks!
John Smith (4 months ago)
I just wanna let go and love. Knowing these mechanisms should lead to overriding them, not abusing them. If I wanted to play games, I'd play chess or something. I have to put on appearances and strategise at my job, at university, family meetings, networking... if you're relationship is going to be another place where you battle against an unenlightened person, why even bother. I want respite and authenticity from an intimate relationship.
Ehsan Entezar (4 months ago)
Did you hear that?! She had a crush on him and he was needy.
Nonmi Hiseddeo (4 months ago)
What I HATE is when I go out with a guy, and he complains about how expensive everything is, even after giving me my choice of where I'd like to go. Most of the places I like are $$-$$$ rated, so for a guy to complain about moderate prices during the date guarantees that I will say, "You know, I made a mistake coming out with you. I'm gonna cut my losses early and say good-night now." For the first few dates, I'll meet the guy at the place, so that I have my own car and can escape if I want to. If he tries to reach out afterwards, I'll ignore him.
Amanda J Tycer (4 months ago)
This is so true. Everybody needs their space!
Kevin Contreras (4 months ago)
This channel is incredible! Why didn't I find you sooner???
Chris Zhang (4 months ago)
Thank You Chrisma On Command for posting this video. Can you please upload video about how to get friend easy without having to attract attention. Thanks
LawZzOn Tuladhar (4 months ago)
I've seen lots and lots of channels like this but this channel is one of the best one👌👌
Avery.S (5 months ago)
i get anxious meeting people i always say no untill it breaks off :(
iDateAdvice (5 months ago)
Don't look needy, but need the Right one!
Tulsa Fox (5 months ago)
.... congratulations you are now a 3% man
Mac (5 months ago)
Good story (making plans), but if that is what it takes to "save a relationship", you should be asking yourself why you are even with her.
AJAY (5 months ago)
Dating advice from Lee Harvey Oswald
Efrain Piracon (5 months ago)
Wooow your body language, voice and expressions are so rich and full, that I would kill to talk just like you do man. Thank you
Jassmen Robinson (5 months ago)
ive done ALL of these things... thanks for the heads up!
The Vinkre (5 months ago)
Im too needy... I can hardly help it😭😭😭
Kevin Acevedo (5 months ago)
Lol she didnt like him after meeting him its not because he kept inviting her, since they dindt actully saw eachother she did gave her some space unless he was veeeery persistant with how he was asking her out, or if he said a thing he reaaaally shouldnt said, but cmon if u only say one thing per day to a girl over a weekend? and she likes you is she gonna go like nah, he is to hoggy. Very Highly unlikely
I wish i would've watched this before i fucked up something worth having. This is a lesson i cannot be stubborn about. You can turn someone off who is obsesses over you if you're needy for them.
Felix New (5 months ago)
Love this bro
-.- (5 months ago)
Why make someone your priority when you're just an option. Valuing your time is the best thing.
vicma praur (5 months ago)
Totally thought he said meatiness and I was so confused
Joey DeMarco (5 months ago)
life saver

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