Link to 3 ways to start a conversation video: https://goo.gl/a58xcW
The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating
There is one thing that ruins more relationships than any others. And while the examples I give are from my own life, this is true for men and women, straight, gay, it doesn't matter.
That thing is neediness. It often looks like obsessiveness, meaning you start imagining what it would be be boyfriend and girlfriend after one encounter, discussing kid names, giving larges gifts, talking to them about your future together in early dates, or when you spend all day thinking about why they didn’t get back to that text you sent. And it’s repulsive. And it’s the biggest thing that messes it up right after you meet someone you really like.
And I want to give you three simple things and one harder thing that you can do to fight neediness - because if you’ve got it, it can kill a relationship before it begins. Trust me, I’ve experienced it plenty of times. Keep in mind this specific advice is for early in a relationship
0:51 Trying to contact them every single day
2:37 Pleading when they can't meet up
3:55 Changing your schedule to fit theirs
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If my Ex girlfriend would have watched this video, the relationship could have been one of the best things in my life. But nope, neediness just destroys everything ... especially when she wanted me to give up on my friends and hobbies in order to spend more time with her. Thats a total no go.
Works for guy-guy dating. As someone who met up with a needy person, the insistence does not reflect well. Things were going well with someone I was seeing until I had work-related plans conflict with my date’s proposed date night. When I let them know I was unavailable They wanted me to “just cancel.” and be with them. I was instantly turned off.
Nahh men fuck that girl. you dont have to punish yourself for her flaky ass. The both of you were sending the same signals to each other so if flaked out on you, its on her and not you at all. what you did was perfectly reasonable, its just lovebird behaviour. if she truly liked you she wouldnt have flaked out on you.
The first one depends on the context. If you two like setting a regular routine to say hi and wish each other a good day over text and then spend the rest of the day doing what you love, contacting each other every day is completely fine.
If on the other hand you're noticing that you're always trying to get the other person's attention every day and it's one-sided, this mistake definitely fits.
I tell my boyfriends/friends: my projects are central to who I am, they do come first, and I would not want to be with anyone whose own life work/creative projects did not come first too. life purpose is the most attractive trait on anyone. bonus if it involves entrepreneurial/artistic/innovative flare:) lucky for me, some of my projects are collaborations with these awesome friends--win win!
sounds like youre dating girls who like games too much. i find dating better when the person is beyond that. or plays fewer games at least. theres nothing wrong with talking to that person everyday if you really lije them and thats what you wanna do. just dont smother each other.
I'm new to this channel, and I absolutely love his advice. There's a book called M.A.C.K tactics written by the former lead hostage negotiator from Las vegas. He had a degree in criminal psychology, and applied his ability to gain trust in tense situations towards dating. Its really the most practical approach towards dating I've ever known, and a lot of the methods in that book are discussed in these videos.
This is a great video! Until you become good with women and master indifference, it can be very easy to act needy.
It's human nature to long for connection. Also as men we're hardwired to be goal oriented and want efficiency. So it can seem better to want to speed things up. But women go at their own pace and you need to allow space for them to miss you over time.
I feel like this video could have been elaborated on further if it wasn't limited to dating but rather " The biggest mistakes people make in relationships". So any type of relationship whether it be friendly, professional or romantic.
Damn, I think I’m the needy type. I talk about valuing my time allot but Iv always been extremely flexible for people. Honestly this is probably something that contributed to the failure of my last serious relationship
I’ve been dating for a girl for two years. We text each other every day, she usually texts first. Maybe we have a special case or something, idk. If two people love each other, I think it’s really silly to be worrying about “uhhh do I text her today or is she gonna think I’m talking to her too much,” and if your partner does think you’re needy then that relationship probably won’t last too long. Just be yourself, there’s someone out there who can love that.
Just remember people, THEY’RE PEOPLE TOO with their own lives, wants, and dreams. Don’t fall into the idea that dating is a game, it’s an extension of friendship and wanting to further develop a relationship with someone you care about. This video is talking about how not give into the excitement that dating brings and accidentally scare that special person off, that is all. Hope you all have a wonderful day!
step 1: u meet girl , date was succesfull
step 2: u try to arrange next meeting
step 3: she cancels the date
step 4: she tells u it`s too late
resolution : women can`t make up their minds, don`t take responsability & making it your fault
solution A? : lie to them giving them supernatural charm, them until they get attached to you and you talk more freely ...
solution B? : get a six pack & ugly girlfriend
solution C? : hands down ... best solution ? *drums*
I just wanna let go and love. Knowing these mechanisms should lead to overriding them, not abusing them. If I wanted to play games, I'd play chess or something. I have to put on appearances and strategise at my job, at university, family meetings, networking... if you're relationship is going to be another place where you battle against an unenlightened person, why even bother. I want respite and authenticity from an intimate relationship.
What I HATE is when I go out with a guy, and he complains about how expensive everything is, even after giving me my choice of where I'd like to go. Most of the places I like are $$-$$$ rated, so for a guy to complain about moderate prices during the date guarantees that I will say, "You know, I made a mistake coming out with you. I'm gonna cut my losses early and say good-night now." For the first few dates, I'll meet the guy at the place, so that I have my own car and can escape if I want to. If he tries to reach out afterwards, I'll ignore him.
Lol she didnt like him after meeting him its not because he kept inviting her, since they dindt actully saw eachother she did gave her some space unless he was veeeery persistant with how he was asking her out, or if he said a thing he reaaaally shouldnt said, but cmon if u only say one thing per day to a girl over a weekend? and she likes you is she gonna go like nah, he is to hoggy. Very Highly unlikely