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3 Mistakes That Butcher First Impressions

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Get The 4 Necessary Emotions To A Killer First Impression: http://bit.ly/2FU1zsL 3 Mistakes That Butcher First Impressions You might be butchering your first impressions without even realizing it. Not cause you’re a self-absorbed jerk, but because a lot of the most well-intentioned advice you’ve received is incomplete. And if you don’t understand the fine points of when that advice applies and when it doesn’t you might miss out on hitting it off with your next close friend, business partner, or even boyfriend or girlfriend. So I want to shed some light on 3 common first impressions mistakes I see that all stem from good advice gone wrong. 1) Thinking that harmony “getting along” and not causing waves is the most important thing 2) Avoiding disagreements and focusing only on commonalities 3) Thinking "fake it til you make it" applies beyond non-verbal communication Subscribe to Charisma On Command: http://bit.ly/subscribeCOC Connect With Us. Website: http://www.charismaoncommand.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/charismaoncommand Periscope: @Charismaon Or if you want to see my personal stuff (my regular life + me playing music): Instagram: @CharlieHoupert Periscope: @CharlieHoupert
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Text Comments (1790)
Kurtis Blow (2 days ago)
This dude has a thick neck, too
Ephraim H (4 days ago)
*walks into McDonalds* Me: this place is way too nice for me
Brittany Craft (4 days ago)
I kinda love this lol great tips
V Lord (5 days ago)
What do you do if you allowed the bully manager (raises voice or cuts you off), now you want it to stop?
Tien Shinhan (5 days ago)
Why tf you get kicked out of a hostel
Micheal Sey (6 days ago)
Your videos are great, and look, this is no criticism but why do you always wear the same model shirt? Its great but is it for advertisement purposes or just your style?
Meliecho (8 days ago)
I think I screwed up my first impression with someone I admire when thought I was being nice, polite, and disarming. This was someone who's an inspiration in my chosen career path. Sadly, I don't think there's any way to fix it if I ever run into them again. And if I did run into them again, I have no idea what I would say to fix it, or even start over if they (hopefully) forgot who I am. This is someone I really wanted to call a friend in the future.
Michael Robusto (9 days ago)
Okay so I got paired with this girl for my Spanish class for like ten minutes and WE HAVE ONLY TALKED ONCE so I got a little anxious. We did the project and then I tried to talk to her but she just seemed uninterested... I felt super unconfident at that point and I honestly couldn’t think of what to do because I always think of how other people think of me... what am I doing wrong? (The girl was not introverted, trust me... she talks with her friend group in this class all the time).
dianateabag (9 days ago)
What the hell did you do to get kicked out from a hostel in rio???
Cassiterita (9 days ago)
por gentileza, a garota na sua história era brasileira? sobre quais pessoas ela estava falando? me pareceu que ela comentou sobre o povo brasileiro. e me chamou a atenção sua reação ter sido enfatizar que os cariocas eram amigáveis, extrovertidos, exuberantes e divertidos e que você acha isso mais relevante do que inteligência. primeiro que, do jeito que você contou, tanto você como a garota equipararam intelligent e worldly, que são coisas bem diferentes, né? segundo que você concorda com ela que são todos burros, é isso? porque em nenhum momento você discordou dela nesse sentido. do jeito que você contou, ficou algo do tipo: 'qual o problema de serem burros? são super fofos e alegres!'. sabe? matou um bom pedaço do seu carisma aqui pra mim... ficarei muito agradecida se você puder me esclarecer. e, se seu português não for o suficiente para compreensão deste comentário, me avisa, que coloco em inglês, tá? é que agora tá tarde, tô cansada e foi muito mais fácil postar em português mesmo... e, só p constar, eu não sou carioca, q não é só de rio de janeiro que é feito brasil, né? mas isso acho que vc já sabe... rsrs
Cassiterita (9 days ago)
quanto mais assisto esse trecho, pior fica... por quê você foi expulso do hostel?
Cassiterita (9 days ago)
"pra mim as pessoas não têm q falar 6 idiomas" - como se os estadunidenses aprendessem uma segunda língua sequer, né? cê sabe que pessoas como você são exceção no seu país, certo? e ainda querem exigir que o mundo fale inglês...
Corbillat (11 days ago)
I was watching the hands during the whole video, this is so distracting idk
Danielle Swafford (4 days ago)
+Corbillat you're welcome, hun.
Corbillat (4 days ago)
+Danielle Swafford Thanks mom?
Danielle Swafford (10 days ago)
Maybe just listen to the video instead? Like nothing on the screen is that important to the content of the video. So maybe just relax and close your eyes or something while watching?
CopBabyCombo (12 days ago)
I hate socializing, but this makes me want to socialize.
Niki Niki (13 days ago)
Tip from a woman: If you tell her: "This restaurant is much nicer then where I normally go, so you better laugh extra hard on my jokes etc." it can be interpreted as "so you better take me home after this", which can make her feel very uncomfortable.
Substitutions Allowed (14 days ago)
I enjoy the videos where you show more pictures and use interesting pictures or clips to illustrate your points. Watching you gesticulate is not as captivating. I see you working at the speaking skills and think that perhaps your presentations of just you talking may be more effective in person. I wonder if that is what you are working at in videos that show only you. This medium of video favors a different charisma and it may be a visual charisma that is very surface or it may come from a depth of character that is captivating in the video format (i.e. I think of Anthony Bourdain, looked amazing but what came across was his writing and who he was as a person. He also had a great voice and made connections with others that we watched. It was never about him most of the time). What you say has validity, how you say it is pleasant. Whether I want to watch video after video of you making valid points... Well that is the question.
Tommi Varela (15 days ago)
Strait to the point💫
Mark Pitsilos (15 days ago)
Or, resist your ego's need to set anyone straight.
Susan .B (15 days ago)
This is some really good advice. I understand why people or myself even, would make mistakes like this. Thank you for the advice!
Linh Nguyen (16 days ago)
Thank you so much!!! I really need this today!
Leslie Scout (17 days ago)
but why did you get kicked out of the hostel
Marina Lazaeva (17 days ago)
Show off
sarang Unnie (18 days ago)
Jodie Connolly (18 days ago)
Where’s the link to the 4 emotions to display when making a good impression?
Charlie (19 days ago)
Robson Fernandes (20 days ago)
Copacabana Palace? burguês safado
Dwight Schrute - (20 days ago)
I recently tried to voice that I didn’t agree with someone on a topic, but they got angry and began an awful argument. How do you keep disagreements from turning into arguments if the other person starts something?
SeraphimDragon (22 days ago)
Honesty is good, but it's not worth much if you don't know how to communicate adequately the points on which you're wanting to focus on. I'm honest, and generally good willed. People know this by being around me constantly and talking to me, but I'm also not a social butterfly. Which has lead to me butting heads with a few of my good friends when it came to discussing certain topics. Because honesty is really the only thing I know how to be and not feel ashamed about, I tend to lack the necessary tact required to DEFENDING my honest opinions. This advice would've been more helpful with a little reminder on how to keep just a little reign on how far to take your honest opinion because it does require some balancing if you don't want to end up arguing with your friends like I do.
Nic Helle (22 days ago)
The VP of my job got crazy with me in a meeting one time and I told him afterwards not to ever speak to me like that again or we wouldn't be speaking period... I remember he was like a deer in headlights and started profusely apologizing. That was about 3.5 years ago and we haven't had a problem since... it's ok to stand up for yourself.
NaidiF 。 (23 days ago)
So, have principle, stick with it, tell other about it with respect
Pk (29 days ago)
Funny, good looking, money Choose two
Luke Bicknell (15 days ago)
Funny and money, Beaty dies in the long run, humour will always be alive & let’s be honest with money you don’t need either
Elliot (1 month ago)
Yeah that disagreement could just as easily make the person despise you, or at least be turned off to the point of wanting nothing to do with you. False bravado does often work, and guys whom girls say they don't want to be with (uncaring, fake etc) are often who they're with. Those bad behaviors are rewarded
Dianna F (1 month ago)
If u r single, I've got a " very pretty" 22 year old daughter whom is single I'd like u to meet. I wud b proud to claim u as my son in law 🤓 I'm almost positive she wud not approve of my public comment today. It's a good thing she'll never know! Lol
Lil' Marshmallow (1 month ago)
number 1 could get me killed or insulted even more
Charles Yeo (1 month ago)
Bring back the animations. It's better than looking at a talking head video
Daisyloves noodles (1 month ago)
I usually make a very Good First impression and then my personality kills me off lol
Kika M (1 month ago)
I like his ears
Yakinthi Lountzi (1 month ago)
that little laugh at 2.19. im in love
Jawa (1 month ago)
Why does this dude look like he was rendered in a 3d program
Samara V Hamilton (1 month ago)
Thanks for calling those out. #3 and name-dropping are the biggest turn-offs for me. I'm like, noooooooope.
Paras Joshi (1 month ago)
Do yo work on the web series the flash
Jonathan Reinglas (1 month ago)
This is something I do in practice regularly, but with my boss, it has actually caused problems. Essentially, it's do as she says all the time, don't disagree, don't even complain about her being late or whatever. Be careful of your power relationships before you are completely honest and focused on being assertive. It usually is the best option, but not ALL the time.
t1m3l0rd (1 month ago)
Please, stop moving you hand and arms awkwardly.
t1m3l0rd (1 month ago)
z nope
z (1 month ago)
that's called having confidence lmao
Rebeca Stoesser (1 month ago)
Ok at this point from what I have learned from you thus far is: it’s time to address that I am not “crazy fan girl” who loves and wants to be with you 😹as of late I’ve become very Sheldonish, in ways,(Big Bang) with my romantic life😸(inside joke for me 😼) I love you in the sense that I am good at judging ppl very quickly and I knew i was right.(Not in a negative way. Its not a judge it’s more a notice. I hold all ppl in high regards even the flawed. It’s a blessing to all but me 😹) I just admire certain qualities that are specifically similar to my own naturally. Quit pit fall if someone is good at acting and tricking. Like mentally good at it I am easily tricked. I love learning about ppl from their past experiences so the examples helps on so many levels. They show the viewer how to do and show them who you are as a person. Very smart for what You do. I specially like the story about the girl. So much like me, but I can’t articulate that on the spot like that. Its so amazing. You know you are that person that she wanted you to be because your all of the above. (Your like Katniss. If you don’t get Jen Lawrence is way similar to the book character. If you didn’t read do! Movie is not the book and it’s very relevant to right now. just if you do pls tell me if you think I’m right😹)you are very deep and worldly and you properly don’t see it. Why Jen is so charming((have not watch that video. Will do next))It’s just your too honest to hold back how you really feel and it’s true if handled honesty and very respectably, which you do, it’s way charismatic. Another thing about me I am a universal complimenter. I know you have used universal touchers before😹👈(this guy can’t help that. Immature. Dah, that Boo-boo is.) I don’t know if you have used this phrase, but they are real and very cool! Dude I’m the Stephen king of text messaging and I’m sorry for that😹. I think of it as world building and it’s all very important to Me.(😊and ending on a meta lamp shading.) No no end on I love YouTube and a big thank you to his patrons!!!(Oh yeah she stuck the landing!😸)
prowland8471 (1 month ago)
So, I need clarification. Your friend stood up for himself and then backed off? I don’t think I would be able to back off if someone insulted me like that after setting that boundary.
Raees Amla (1 month ago)
So you got kicked out of your hostile...
BixPanther (1 month ago)
4:50 Wow this is so beautiful and true! I completly agree!
Byron Mantoan (1 month ago)
When you realize you've been doing all these things...
Mississippi_Kid (2 months ago)
"I'm not going to pretend that something is the case when it's not."  08:57  Wow, if only our society could really apply this.
Pointless Kevin (2 months ago)
This video alone mad me like this guy without even knowing him plus the fact he used 0 jump cuts spoke clearly and with no pauses that's crazy
Tomorrow is Yesterday (2 months ago)
4:55 - This story is pure bull. People don't talk on the nose like that. Jeez.
Josue Moreno (2 months ago)
So that guy who stood up to his boss probably never got a promotion lol
Restless (2 months ago)
Does he do any videos on what to do when you didn't set a boundary when you should've? As a woman, I've definitely shrugged off some things I shouldn't have that people continue to do because I never said anything about it. I would really love some advice on that.
ThingsiHateLots (2 months ago)
I WISH I HAD IMPLEMENTED THE FIRST POINT IN MY LAST JOB. & funnily enough the guy in my situation was also called David 😅
Pikepaw (2 months ago)
This actually explains my life because I sometimes make good first impressions that I believe I had messed up. I tend to be overly honest and yet it impresses people. Like a date I went on to a fancy restaurant, I admitted I only brought her there because I had a gift card for the restaurant and she was actually very cool with that.
jayna kim (3 months ago)
Back to school in Korea is rolling in (it is kinda different in Korea) Since i'm going to middle school i'm binge watching these vids Lol wish me luck
gnarth d'arkanen (3 months ago)
SO... Screaming obscenities as I crash over the table, launch myself into the air and try to split them in half with a very LARGE axe is... NOT terrible? ...maybe? ;o)
Rob Hartsock (3 months ago)
So... did you bang that girl in Rio or what?
I Lick My Butthole Daily (3 months ago)
You have a beautiful smile.
Kyle Jesse (3 months ago)
Question is, did you smash though? hmm
little kitty (3 months ago)
Been checking out a few of your videos and you have great advice! Would have loved these when I was in high school lol
Moses Berkowitz (3 months ago)
That Rio story went on and on...
001ash (3 months ago)
You are amazing. Great message. Thank you.
Nikola ZUber (3 months ago)
This guy seems like a sociopath to me....still good advice tho
Tez .W (3 months ago)
I cant pull off a v-neck
Nooting Fireplace (3 months ago)
So are you gonna tell us why you were kicked out of your hostile?
fiddle knuckles (3 months ago)
I keep looking at his arm muscles
PeculiarSquare (3 months ago)
i did the first advice, my teacher threw books at me and sent me to the guidance office for detention. Thanks! now I'm not schooling for 5 weeks
Liam dabrowski (3 months ago)
did you smash?
AJ Dorris (3 months ago)
Ur 16.. how do u kno anything
SecondSons (3 months ago)
5:29 nah she let him stay cause he clapped them cheeks lol
Robin Goodchild (3 months ago)
Thank you ✌🏼💕
Melissa Ammons (3 months ago)
I love the content of your videos! Great information
Gustavo Teixeira (3 months ago)
The kind of content this channel produces... Should be something taught in every school system around the world, would help a lot of people in so many ways, not just people but also the culture, and society itself, Congrats!! Keep At it!!
Jonathan Segal (3 months ago)
Hard to pay attention to him when he’s so attractive
Tim Mobley (3 months ago)
All this really helps when you and your delivery is a 14 on a 10 scale. Haha
Christine Becker (3 months ago)
So hard for people to be true to themselves, especially when they are trying to impress others... great tips and stories. :)
a dog on a plane (3 months ago)
Moral of the story: just be yourself
Yuseph ABD ALLAH I (3 months ago)
your advices dont apply to depressed people with no social skills. you re smooth and natural.
Ken Richard (3 months ago)
Why do people try to get you to do what they want you to do by telling you that they know you want to do it? WHEN YOU DON'T!
Vincent Downing (3 months ago)
Dude: you're gorgeous.
Z Man (3 months ago)
10 minute video to brag about a hookup in rio after not being able to take a compliment... Super relatable.
thisisntme (4 months ago)
traveling the world and speaking multiple languages doesn't make you educated. you would be surprised how many people travel but spend their 2 weeks time in tourist traps and think they now know everything about a place and never realize that they just fell for an illusion created by a corrupt government.
Sage Peace (4 months ago)
5:25 "We did fuck" xD
Stephen Aymond (4 months ago)
So the three mistakes are basically not being honest with other people. Got it.
Draw Clearly (4 months ago)
Oskari Leikos (4 months ago)
You got kicked out of your hospital??
Calenda Maia (4 months ago)
I wonder how much of the reactions described in the video are psychologically-based or culturally-based. I remember a professor arriving late, and shortly after, blaming an employee for arriving late too. The employee answered to him (well, to resume her words) that he should first think for himself. The co-workers took HER behaviour as deeply disrespectful. But it's also true that this professor was usually very correct with the employees, instead this particular employee was not very correct in her turn.
Jonathan Deakins (4 months ago)
Yo great advice, learned a lot from this. Just had to point out though, that shirt is so clean 👌👌
Pygmy Puff (4 months ago)
I had a guy make a Russian Mafia joke since my mom told him I am Russian and at first the joke was funny, but when he kept going on about it, I got really uncomfortable and embarrassed. He was nice, but that continuous joke just made me turn off from him. I'm sure he meant no harm by it, but I should have spoken up and said "yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great and all, but can we talk about something different?"
Mariana Rattes (4 months ago)
Answering your question, there are still parties going on in Copacabana Palace. I know, I'm a bit late but hey, I just found your channel. 😅
Likely Lad (4 months ago)
Now i know who to butcher when walking on street :)
Lina Lindbladh (4 months ago)
In some of your videos you come a cross as a bragger, but you want to look humble. Its a bit crinchy.
Danny Mahoney (4 months ago)
Honestly in that first scenario I’ve been in those types of meetings and I would be more impressed if the presenter took the high road and simply said something like: “that’s an interesting take, Mr. Guy, can I ask why you think that?” Or “What about the company did you think makes it worth risking other people’s capital?”... More times than not finance is pretty black and white and those guys argue with numbers not emotion... and if he simply called them pussies bc he’s a dick then he sounds like a shitty businessman and a horrible company to work for... know your worth
Mechelle Crossan (4 months ago)
lol it probably helps if your as good looking as him 😊 he’s clever guy I really like him not sure if it’s coz I fancy him though 👍
Side Effects (4 months ago)
You talk with your hands a lot haha
CAP (4 months ago)
Portuguese? I think you mean Brazilian. I wouldn't know though since I only speak American
Mel V (4 months ago)
Can you do a video on how to initiate and hold up an interesting conversation?
Adeline Beason (4 months ago)
weird flex but okay
rex chen (4 months ago)
my god this channel is a blessing. step 1: Eat a cheesburger step 2: Die in peace
Andy Flaster (4 months ago)
I am binge watching your videos after finding them. You are what 25? You are teaching a 55-year-old man a lot. You should be proud of that. I am highly amused. Kind of blows away the "kids today" crap that many middle-aged people throw out. My son is 12. I sure hope he grows up to be more like you than me. As for all the naysayers and jokers in the comments. You are just jealous at how much this young man has it together. You know it even if you are not willing to admit it. He is right. He is saying things I have known all my life but have not had the tools or knowledge to correct.
Seneca Bendich (4 months ago)
why do i add my email for the good stuff? just give it to me. why did i subscribe

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