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3 Mistakes That Butcher First Impressions

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Get The 4 Necessary Emotions To A Killer First Impression: http://bit.ly/2FU1zsL 3 Mistakes That Butcher First Impressions You might be butchering your first impressions without even realizing it. Not cause you’re a self-absorbed jerk, but because a lot of the most well-intentioned advice you’ve received is incomplete. And if you don’t understand the fine points of when that advice applies and when it doesn’t you might miss out on hitting it off with your next close friend, business partner, or even boyfriend or girlfriend. So I want to shed some light on 3 common first impressions mistakes I see that all stem from good advice gone wrong. 1) Thinking that harmony “getting along” and not causing waves is the most important thing 2) Avoiding disagreements and focusing only on commonalities 3) Thinking "fake it til you make it" applies beyond non-verbal communication Subscribe to Charisma On Command: http://bit.ly/subscribeCOC Connect With Us. Website: http://www.charismaoncommand.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/charismaoncommand Periscope: @Charismaon Or if you want to see my personal stuff (my regular life + me playing music): Instagram: @CharlieHoupert Periscope: @CharlieHoupert
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Text Comments (1671)
Tainblu (19 hours ago)
Stop listening to him, watch his body language thats all you need..
R.B. (1 day ago)
Sometimes when you set boundaries with people they freak out and go crazy at you. This is probably good because then you get away from those people, but be aware it can happen.
Juib Morrowind (1 day ago)
Yes, good vibes more important than intelligence. I often found that my intelligent friends argue more and are insecure about they intellectual image. They are too up tight and not relaxed. And they continuously want to impress you and brag.
Bipasha Sonowal (1 day ago)
These stories seem too good to be true. 🤔
Joshua Powers (2 days ago)
All these years I've been watching Charisma on Command, and I never knew that Charlie was an absolute killer behind that microphone. Black v-neck t-shirts are in transit to my door right now. In all seriousness, this just showcases that you practice what you preach, and makes this channel all the more genuine. I've always loved your videos and find myself charismatic, while simultaneously being a doormat. They've helped to mend the latter attribute, and now I have a new goal: being able to speak this clearly and hold as much attention as you can, for an extended period of time. Kudos amigo, this was awesome.
Dan Kitchen (2 days ago)
Legend
Sora (2 days ago)
I love your videos! Is there a podcast version of this?
The Chill Opinion (3 days ago)
I said the same thing to my boss. Is there anyone who can find a job for a 24 year old programmer?
Art of Free Speech (5 days ago)
Interesting. 1. I've seen people fired for doing what you suggest in #1. Set boundaries, sure, but calling a boss out and telling them what not to do in the future can get you fired. I've seen it. I've seen bosses say, basically, "hey, if you don't like it, you're welcome to leave the company." I'm guessing your buddy was kind of young. Not everyone runs such a kinder, gentler business (whether or not, as a boss, being respectful is the right thing to do, and I do believe it is). It's great advice for meeting new people OUTSIDE of a business relationship, but if your livelihood depends on it, you're better off addressing it in private, or maybe even just start looking for a new job. 2. There's an immense amount of irony in someone telling us about how to make first impressions while admitting he was kicked out of his hostel. 3. This can be summed up with "Don't lie."
Detective Bohobe (7 days ago)
As always, wonderful video!
Skelly boi (7 days ago)
Well, what about friends fron school who you've made the first impresion when you were an idiot and tought people aren't assholes who will share all your sercrets with everyone, and mock you for years and make you go home crying because you just can't stand it anymore? Asking for a friend
Jusu-Tengu (8 days ago)
I seriously gotta check out more of these videos from you. You are such a lifesaver; thank you so much. :)
Lori Vasconcellos (8 days ago)
The Copacabana Palace hotel is one of the bougiest places for a party. Ahahahahaha!
Just Abby (8 days ago)
2:40 that's much scarier than being yelled at tbh
TyePyeSenpai (8 days ago)
Fun is shallow? 😂😂
Audiodump (10 days ago)
I've never gotten an uncanny valley effect from a real person but I get it from this guy. Also, his stories are all so transparently false.
Sam S (11 days ago)
I love his mouth
CommandonerBob 1 (13 days ago)
🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔 You're a Great Help to *a Great Many People,* I believe. Thanks. By improving us, you're improving the world.
Ashley Shane (15 days ago)
That girl that likes intelligent and worldly guys....thats [like] me.... I can take arrogance/other negative any day as long as theyre smart to compensate for it and their future goes somewhere
Packman Guapo (15 days ago)
Step 1. Fake it till you make it Step 2. Don’t lie
Charlie Pistone (16 days ago)
Zazlav?
spartjovic (17 days ago)
"First impressions matter" -----------> "Don't judge a book by its cover"... 🤔
Leo ZodiacsLion (19 days ago)
Done. (1) "My Portuguese is good because I studied Spanish". Guess you must be fluent in Romanian also because you studied Spanish...? (2) Apparently telling your boss he's causing an HR issue in a room of witnesses to potential HR issue is homologous to getting respect. 👌 U so smert
LoveMe,com (20 days ago)
Most of us have an impression on the people, and we judge them right away without knowing them. That’s the biggest mistake we do all the time.
cardboard box (23 days ago)
I like the way he didn;t really say up front he preferred fun to intelligence. The response I'd have picked would have been straight up fun but the way he explained it said the same without really causing ripples. In terms of the don't tolerate disrespect I'd like to know what the answer is if they cross the boundary.
ER K (24 days ago)
at many of my past jobs they dont like people who stand up for themselves. ive been told im a good person I never got anywhere. im pretty confident, im not socially awkward. im honest. never got me anywhere. cant have strong women running around...
Joshua Ng (25 days ago)
The summary: Be honest, but don't be an asshole about it
LaughableSynonyms (26 days ago)
I find this dude very attractive, hell I just might be gay for him.
ShiShi108 (26 days ago)
I have a story to share regarding the first advice. I heard this thru my mom so I didn’t hear it through the primary source. Basically, what happened was that my uncle started a job where the boss was abusive and while my uncle had his lunch. He took a glass of water and poured it on his lunch. Inappropriate right? The others didn’t speak up and endured that kind of abuse but my uncle did the same to his lunch. After setting the boundary, the mean boss and my uncle actually got along
IamYourFather38 delta (28 days ago)
Hmmm brazilian chicks are more whorish than chickens
Alejo (28 days ago)
do a video on brandon calvillo
Chris O'cean (28 days ago)
Can you summarize your content at the end of your video please
tokyoghoulsucks (28 days ago)
this is a very good video
Charisma on Command (21 days ago)
~ Thanks!
Sea Dog (29 days ago)
A girl thought I was confident. I disagree and corrected her. Way to make a first good impression
Jen Hildreth (29 days ago)
Really interesting stories to back up your tips! Thanks for posting!!
Charisma on Command (22 days ago)
~ Our pleasure! Thanks for watching. :-)
WesIsaLeo (29 days ago)
Interesting. My first impression is I don't trust this guy for a second. My second one is this guy is ringing false notes w/ every tooth he flashes.
WesIsaLeo (29 days ago)
I see we're now up to four impressions from three as of 11/2018. Next there will be five...then six minute abs vs. seven. Also the five-second rule? It's up to eight.
P. .v d K (1 month ago)
I started taking notes whilst watching your videos and i actually helped me develop socially, thank you for this amazing content!!
Charisma on Command (25 days ago)
~ That's awesome! Glad you're using our tips and finding them helpful. :-)
hajer jojo (1 month ago)
thank youu ur great
Daniel Gilbert (1 month ago)
How is faking body language less dishonest than lying verbally? I think it does just as much harm. Otherwise, great video!
Tom Devine (1 month ago)
Sooooooo did you smash the Portuguese girl or nah?
who else is binging all these videos to try and become the ultimate human
greglgro (1 month ago)
1) Be Respected. 2) Be Real. 3) Be Honest.
TL LT (1 month ago)
Your friend is a badass
Y'ain’t (1 month ago)
His mannerisms remind me of the kid from meet the robinsons
OktaFierce (1 month ago)
This is some genuine bad advice....
grumpy old fart (1 month ago)
Peoples first impression of me is usually enough to get rid of them. Even Jehovah's Witnesses won't talk to me.
i think you're just charismatic cos you're a great speaker and u look like a model
C.A.A (1 month ago)
Watches video turns and Stands in middles of class “you guys are pussies”
Ian McKenzie (1 month ago)
This is great stuff. Thankful that someone took the time to show how the world works.
StreetTricks (1 month ago)
Frame control master
Wait you got kicked out of your hostal??
Glenn Hutchison (1 month ago)
She left you in her place cause you d'd her down smashingly. Pun intended
Jurie Adendorff (1 month ago)
There's a difference between "fake it till you make it" and just plain lying.
MotiveVideoBook (1 month ago)
Such a great personality. You rock.
Flavyouu (1 month ago)
How do you still continue with the conversation after disagreeing??
John 117 (1 month ago)
Words should be honest but your body language has got to be trained as if you were an athlete
John 117 (1 month ago)
Respect!
Maria Slander (1 month ago)
Aka be a savage !
Ak Sprkl (1 month ago)
5:55 I disagree. When I have openly disagreed with people, they seem to instantly hate me and then seek out others who agree with them to strengthen their own point. Then together they just treat me as the 'other.'
Memyself andI (1 month ago)
Having THAT smile doesn't hurt either.
Messiah (1 month ago)
You cant butcher first impressions when you look like the Joker.. Everyone likes the Joker.
La Verne (1 month ago)
i receive abuse from where i come from but i dont accept it at all and as i grow up i start setting up boundaries now
Anthony Whitaker (2 months ago)
This comment section... is better than the video lol
Phoenix 21 (2 months ago)
Love your Videos ..also I would leave you at my place anytime Handsome one.
Nathan Lee (2 months ago)
Thank you for this.
Charisma on Command (1 month ago)
~ Our pleasure! Glad to share it. :-)
Masterine (2 months ago)
if you know you will not see this person again, should you go with being polite even when you don't really agree on the things they say/like? for example, I met a very religious lady that seemed very nice and friendly, the first thing she asked me is if I believe in God. as a person who doesn't know much about religion, and would rather not engage in religious topics, I didn't know how to answer her question. so I answered yes out of politeness.
mrs phillips (2 months ago)
TO THE PEOPLE THAT CRITIC HIM!!!¡!! his brain does work very fast all our brains do..he developed his analytical abilities by being aware human of trial and error..a person practices critical thinking when they analyzing the reason, the process, and the outcome of interaction... Doing this at a very fast pace DURING the interaction is a highly effective skill critical thinking requires deep deep self awarness for not only for the fufillment of your study but for the emotional state and mental strength of yourself in general. Your emotional delegance plays a tremendous role on how your brain retains and dissects information controlling your emotions leaves room for mental skill building many people like to argue the benefits of apathetic engagement being impressionable and holds grounds with logic and factuality but apathy is not a normal state of mental health it is not a normal mental function for every day life This is not a manipulative way of interacting because the point of this is to develop YOU FIRST IMPRESSION THIS IS TEACHING SELF AWARNESS AND COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE IN YOURSELF...THIS IS NOT OVER THINKING HE IS SIMPLY EXPLAING THE REASON THE PROCESS AND THE RESULTS BEHIND THE BENEFITS OF STRENGTHENING YOUR INTERACTION AND ANALYTICAL SKILLS THROUGH SOLID CRITICAL THINKING. HE IS EMPOWERING SELFAWARNESS AND BUILDING SELF CONFIDENCE HIS APPROACH TAKES THE KEY ELEMENTS OF LOGIC AND MIXES IN WITH THE REALITY OF EMOTIONS WHICH GIVES HIS RECEIVERS QUALITY LEARNING.. YOU PEOPLE WHO ARE OVER ANALYZING this and critic him with rebuttals that are pointing out opinionated flaws over his drawn out expression and the structure of his presentation y'all disregard the message and it's intent some of you are even being envious of his unique genuis way to captivate others attention with such animation and so much information on a subject that literally allows the reciever to "feel" and "think" SUBJECTIVELY...RECIEVERS EXPERIENCE THE EMOTIONAL AFFECTS OF LOGICALITY FROM THIS PRESENTATION ALONE it is powerful to teach and hold attention it is gifted to teach and build the emotional state IT IS extremely rare to teach in a manner that promotes self reflection WITHOUT THE INFLUENCE OF CULTURAL DIVISION OR BIASED SELF BELIEFS. everything this man says in this video is true. It doesn't matter if the example stories are real or not. As you grow in your journey towards building solid impressions for social interaction as you learn the skill of mental and emotional analytical observation and expression molded by your practice of critical thinking EMPOWERD BYE YOU AND YOUR EVERYDAY LIFR you will strengthen your ability to have emotional control which will create room for understanding you will be more patient more insightful not saying we will all live in this perfect harmony world .but we will go back to recognize the importance of boundaries and limitations THIS MAN IS TEACHING YOU MORE THAN SELF IMPRESSIONS HE IS TEACHING YOU WHAT WE HAVE BEEN BEING STRIPPED OF EVER SINCE WE BECAME INFLUENCED BY SOCIETY'S PERCEPTION OF A "SOMEBODY" HE IS TEACHING YOU HOW TO FIND AND LIVE BY YOUR OWN TRUE UNIQUE INDIVIDUALISM THROUGH YOUR OWN PERSONAL PERSONAL PERCEPTIONS WHILE UTILIZING THE BASIC FOUNDATIONS OF LOGICAL ETHICS IN YOUR EMOTIONAL DEALINGS! LISTEN TO HIM!! FB Aquina Phillips
Ladislav Hustý (2 months ago)
5:30 10/10 Charlie fcked that chick !
Darren Lachel (2 months ago)
12 years of school, and I learn more from videos like this, every day.
Alex Leon (2 months ago)
Excellent content, excellent video
Charisma on Command (1 month ago)
~ Glad you're digging it Alex!
NigWard (2 months ago)
0:02 pause* we all looked at it. Lord have mercy
gf5050 (2 months ago)
4:15 Portuguese is completely different than Spanish, just saying...
Josh Peck (2 months ago)
you frickin wizard. youre awesome!
SKULLXZ2 Gaming (2 months ago)
Sexy ass face
Milind Bebarta (2 months ago)
Just stay away from my crush
NINJA's Depression (2 months ago)
Ah, going for the Terence Fletcher look. I dig it.
snowissj (2 months ago)
Fake it till you make it means practicing who you want to be
placetobelong (2 months ago)
For women, intelligent and travelled are more likely to have money.
N A (2 months ago)
You have them.
Outer Orbit (2 months ago)
I dont know how i stumbled upon your channel, but I really like and appreciate the information that you are teaching here. I find it very useful. What are your thoughts on explaining what it is you are doing while your doing it ? For example, if the CEO says "this quarter was a dissappointment." etc and he openly shares that he wants to be honest, does that ruin the effect on a pyschological level ?
Cathy Shepard (2 months ago)
I like be how he ACTUALLY GIVES GENUINE INFORMATION. So many videos from other folks I come across have the “How to make everyone like you. The results will shock you!” scammy vibe and NEVER get to the point. So satisfying to actually get information.
orangecucamonga (2 months ago)
Does it help to be a real-life Bitmoji? I like this dude. Smart and articulate, even if he looks like a cartoon character. And THANK YOU for not sounding like a typical 20-something with the "Whats up, guys?" opener and swallowing the end of every sentence with the too-cool-for-life glottal fry. So refreshing.
Akbar X (2 months ago)
Kinesthetic intelligence is not studied much, but it is there with the 'fake it till you make it phrase.'
Alexandria Pittman (2 months ago)
When women have set a boundary before by rejecting a flirtatious overture, they face different responses and consequences than men. I wished that the differences in how each gender should handle that scenario would be addressed. Also, I would never stay alone at a stranger's house on a trip as a female for safety reasons.
OK (2 months ago)
These stories are so fake. Like a lot of your videos but this was cringe
Kat Truong (2 months ago)
Trump fakes it til he makes it with words and it seems to work pretty well for him tbh
BlackAtheist Speaks (2 months ago)
Yup...I've had to do this to the office bully when I first started. She was so crass and everyone was intimidated by her. I had to check on sight and she became one of my good work friends eventually.
Rover Coupe (2 months ago)
You need to dress better. That tee shirt makes you look like a teenager. M.
ENGcolors (2 months ago)
I am sorry, but I am really dissapointed about you, are you honest or not??? (My english is probably poor, but that is because it is my 3rd language). You said that people are concerned if the people who they are talking to are not real, that is true becuse I just have experienced the same thing ABOUT YOU. I got from you or from your studio the e mail of that 4 emotions that we need to follow, in order to give good first impressions. At the the end of that video you said - "if you will pay 17 $ for this course you will get all of it BUT IF you will e-mail me and say that you are not satisfied with the videos and that they did not made any impact, I will return all your money(cash), I promise you will not regret it. " You know, the words that you say at the end of that video are the same as the words that say people who try to make as much profit as they can. Of cource, they never return the money, you said that being sincere is very important. But by saying that words you lost my trust on you. I was actually ready to buy your book, but now I am really dissapointed about you. I know that is your business and you can say that, but it was not worth of losing the fate, I belive. Maybe I am wrong and you really return the cash back to those who are not satissfied. But I do not think so, cause many people would just abuse it and you probably just can't read all that letter. (I have watched the russian version of that video)
Lasse Barr (2 months ago)
razzle dazzle!
Charlotte Westerhoff (2 months ago)
sort of random question but how does one get kicked out of a hostel
Shane Vincent (3 months ago)
Whats the reply to 'What are you going to do about it if I do?' when you set boundaries (I.E 'Saying that isn't cool, don't let me hear you saying stuff like that again' > 'what are you going to do if I do?')
Sam Sung (3 months ago)
4:08 her sort of emphasis on these people are dumb was a bit of a turn off for me. - I will never understand your reaction. It's like just her ability to look at dumbness critically or just expressing critique makes her automatically worthless. Why?
Simon Berntsson (3 months ago)
The message is good but it feels bad getting advice from someone who is obviously at least a 9/10 and doesn't (presumably or at least not as much) suffer from the worry of not looking good.
Caio Monteiro (3 months ago)
Brazil in the hooouse
John Doe (3 months ago)
If someone told me "don't ever do this" instead of asking me I would see that as a challenge or a threat. If I cared what other people think I would immediately fight them over it, or in the case of the boss call security.
Marsel Music (3 months ago)
I was thinking automatically _"mouth"_ and saw a bunch of homeruns in the comment section: _"So glad this guy doesn't use jump cuts, very impressive."_ _"This dude needs to play the Joker."_ _"Anyone else think this guy is kinda perfect looking?"_ _"Oh and BTW, can you do a video about how to handle awkward situations?"_ Great responses in the comment sections guys 😂😂😂👌
LosAngelesBeast1218 (3 months ago)
this guy's mouth is so big
John Doe (3 months ago)
A side effect of being lean. Look at fat people, ironically they have small mouths. Also being petite instead of having big faces can cause this.
zou shane (3 months ago)
You know you can trust someones' advice when he is not trying to sell you stuff at the end of the video😂

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