Get The 4 Necessary Emotions To A Killer First Impression:
3 Mistakes That Butcher First Impressions
You might be butchering your first impressions without even realizing it. Not cause you’re a self-absorbed jerk, but because a lot of the most well-intentioned advice you’ve received is incomplete. And if you don’t understand the fine points of when that advice applies and when it doesn’t you might miss out on hitting it off with your next close friend, business partner, or even boyfriend or girlfriend.
So I want to shed some light on 3 common first impressions mistakes I see that all stem from good advice gone wrong.
1) Thinking that harmony “getting along” and not causing waves is the most important thing
2) Avoiding disagreements and focusing only on commonalities
3) Thinking "fake it til you make it" applies beyond non-verbal communication
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The kind of content this channel produces... Should be something taught in every school system around the world, would help a lot of people in so many ways, not just people but also the culture, and society itself, Congrats!! Keep At it!!
traveling the world and speaking multiple languages doesn't make you educated. you would be surprised how many people travel but spend their 2 weeks time in tourist traps and think they now know everything about a place and never realize that they just fell for an illusion created by a corrupt government.
I wonder how much of the reactions described in the video are psychologically-based or culturally-based. I remember a professor arriving late, and shortly after, blaming an employee for arriving late too. The employee answered to him (well, to resume her words) that he should first think for himself. The co-workers took HER behaviour as deeply disrespectful. But it's also true that this professor was usually very correct with the employees, instead this particular employee was not very correct in her turn.
I had a guy make a Russian Mafia joke since my mom told him I am Russian and at first the joke was funny, but when he kept going on about it, I got really uncomfortable and embarrassed. He was nice, but that continuous joke just made me turn off from him. I'm sure he meant no harm by it, but I should have spoken up and said "yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great and all, but can we talk about something different?"
Honestly in that first scenario I’ve been in those types of meetings and I would be more impressed if the presenter took the high road and simply said something like: “that’s an interesting take, Mr. Guy, can I ask why you think that?” Or “What about the company did you think makes it worth risking other people’s capital?”... More times than not finance is pretty black and white and those guys argue with numbers not emotion... and if he simply called them pussies bc he’s a dick then he sounds like a shitty businessman and a horrible company to work for... know your worth
I am binge watching your videos after finding them. You are what 25? You are teaching a 55-year-old man a lot. You should be proud of that. I am highly amused. Kind of blows away the "kids today" crap that many middle-aged people throw out. My son is 12. I sure hope he grows up to be more like you than me.
As for all the naysayers and jokers in the comments. You are just jealous at how much this young man has it together. You know it even if you are not willing to admit it. He is right. He is saying things I have known all my life but have not had the tools or knowledge to correct.
The reason the response to the boss worked is that it was a veiled threat of a physical confrontation and the boss was a little bitch at heart and got intimidated.
I think this guy missed that major point.
Hi. Thank you for your videos !!! I do really appreciate your work. I have been learning myself time to time. I hope you will see and answer me though. I have received the sentence from the potential male friend over the text that he likes me being smart not like other young girl. I think it is not right . I am smart and I appreciate the compliment but I dont think all young girls are stupid, I dont think this is the right compliment to point to my intelligence. I tried to point to that as a thing I dont agree with. The point I am not sure how to go further in conversation after you show yourself with disagreeing? or it is just about not connecting and just move on ?
Hello, I have a question about the first part. You said to tell someone who does something offensive "I do not like that, and dont ever do that again". But sometimes this makes the other person say youre just too sensitive. Im mostly talking about family or friend situations. Also at what point should I draw the line? There are somtimes when it just isnt worth causing a disagreement. FOr instance if I depend on someone to do something, like drive me somewhere or if I live in this person's house I dont want to create conflict.
I use to have an abusive boss . yelling and making girl cry ..he just one yell at me after working a few weeks there- i looked him in the eye without saying a word . No angry tough nothing . just this song in my head *Let it be ooo let it be * and then i left the job smiling without saying a word. and he was just following me and asking me to stay and i kept my mouth shut wile he was apologizing . i left anyway. He call me like 10 time to know if i was coming back to work soon. next morning i was there 7:45 ready for my 8-16 shift. he never look at me again or really talk to me again and we were working meter from each other. and i since work there for 10 years and i really love that job. I have a new boss Witch is a pretty Fantastic woman. I love this video. First contact is important .Also with regular None superior people it work. when you first meet someone that is a bit passive aggressive Just stay silent you dont have to answer to this person that you dont know. Keep on the good work !
Totally agree to call out BS. It is good that iwhen you pretend to be a tourist in your city, much more fun that way. ;) Yes, fake it only to yourself on emotional level, what you say and do must be honest.
Love your videos. I feel like there might be a few exceptions to the respect, or agree-to-disagree, portion of this video, though. For example, I’m a gay man of color and there have been a number of times where I’ve stated I don’t agree with some people’s beliefs that are about sexual orientation or being people of color. Even if we agree to disagree, I’m not sure I would trust some of the people based on what they believe to be true. And they’ve made it clear a few times that they don’t trust me, sometimes through action and sometimes words.
In my examples, I’m the one directly affected by the statements and I choose not to associate with people who would devalue me. In your example, the negativity wasn’t directed toward you. Is that the reason you stayed around with her? I’m genuinely curious.
All of those things come down to confidence. You can be honest and disagree with people if you have the confidence to know that even if this person doesn't like you, there are enough others who do. Well, maybe a lack of insecurities, rather than just plain old confidence :D
Yes, good vibes more important than intelligence. I often found that my intelligent friends argue more and are insecure about they intellectual image. They are too up tight and not relaxed. And they continuously want to impress you and brag.
All these years I've been watching Charisma on Command, and I never knew that Charlie was an absolute killer behind that microphone. Black v-neck t-shirts are in transit to my door right now.
In all seriousness, this just showcases that you practice what you preach, and makes this channel all the more genuine. I've always loved your videos and find myself charismatic, while simultaneously being a doormat. They've helped to mend the latter attribute, and now I have a new goal: being able to speak this clearly and hold as much attention as you can, for an extended period of time. Kudos amigo, this was awesome.
1. I've seen people fired for doing what you suggest in #1. Set boundaries, sure, but calling a boss out and telling them what not to do in the future can get you fired. I've seen it. I've seen bosses say, basically, "hey, if you don't like it, you're welcome to leave the company." I'm guessing your buddy was kind of young. Not everyone runs such a kinder, gentler business (whether or not, as a boss, being respectful is the right thing to do, and I do believe it is). It's great advice for meeting new people OUTSIDE of a business relationship, but if your livelihood depends on it, you're better off addressing it in private, or maybe even just start looking for a new job.
2. There's an immense amount of irony in someone telling us about how to make first impressions while admitting he was kicked out of his hostel.
3. This can be summed up with "Don't lie."
The reality is unattractive people have a harder lot in life. I used to be a chunky girl, constantly passed over. As soon as I slimmed down, men and women started treating me like I actually existed. It really sucks, but this is reality. If the dude in this video was a hunchback with jacked up teeth, none of us would care what he has to say. You can be gorgeous, yet shallow, snobbish, under-qualified, and still get the job simply because you're attractive. I had a boss tell me once that they were glad they hired me because my "presence" made the office look much nicer. Like, what am I a fucking ornament? That said, people are shit and I could careless about their impressions of me.
Well, what about friends fron school who you've made the first impresion when you were an idiot and tought people aren't assholes who will share all your sercrets with everyone, and mock you for years and make you go home crying because you just can't stand it anymore? Asking for a friend