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3 Mistakes That Butcher First Impressions

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Get The 4 Necessary Emotions To A Killer First Impression: http://bit.ly/2FU1zsL 3 Mistakes That Butcher First Impressions You might be butchering your first impressions without even realizing it. Not cause you’re a self-absorbed jerk, but because a lot of the most well-intentioned advice you’ve received is incomplete. And if you don’t understand the fine points of when that advice applies and when it doesn’t you might miss out on hitting it off with your next close friend, business partner, or even boyfriend or girlfriend. So I want to shed some light on 3 common first impressions mistakes I see that all stem from good advice gone wrong. 1) Thinking that harmony “getting along” and not causing waves is the most important thing 2) Avoiding disagreements and focusing only on commonalities 3) Thinking "fake it til you make it" applies beyond non-verbal communication Subscribe to Charisma On Command: http://bit.ly/subscribeCOC Connect With Us. Website: http://www.charismaoncommand.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/charismaoncommand Periscope: @Charismaon Or if you want to see my personal stuff (my regular life + me playing music): Instagram: @CharlieHoupert Periscope: @CharlieHoupert
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Text Comments (1865)
gnarth d'arkanen (2 days ago)
SO... Screaming obscenities as I crash over the table, launch myself into the air and try to split them in half with a very LARGE axe is... NOT terrible? ...maybe? ;o)
Rob Hartsock (2 days ago)
So... did you bang that girl in Rio or what?
You have a beautiful smile.
Kyle Jesse (4 days ago)
Question is, did you smash though? hmm
little kitty (6 days ago)
Been checking out a few of your videos and you have great advice! Would have loved these when I was in high school lol
Moses Berkowitz (8 days ago)
That Rio story went on and on...
001ash (9 days ago)
You are amazing. Great message. Thank you.
Nikola ZUber (10 days ago)
This guy seems like a sociopath to me....still good advice tho
Tez .W (11 days ago)
I cant pull off a v-neck
Nooting Fireplace (12 days ago)
So are you gonna tell us why you were kicked out of your hostile?
fiddle knuckles (12 days ago)
I keep looking at his arm muscles
PeculiarSquare (13 days ago)
i did the first advice, my teacher threw books at me and sent me to the guidance office for detention. Thanks! now I'm not schooling for 5 weeks
Liam dabrowski (13 days ago)
did you smash?
AJ Dorris (14 days ago)
Ur 16.. how do u kno anything
SecondSons (15 days ago)
5:29 nah she let him stay cause he clapped them cheeks lol
Robin Goodchild (18 days ago)
Thank you ✌🏼💕
Melissa Ammons (18 days ago)
I love the content of your videos! Great information
Gustavo Teixeira (19 days ago)
The kind of content this channel produces... Should be something taught in every school system around the world, would help a lot of people in so many ways, not just people but also the culture, and society itself, Congrats!! Keep At it!!
Jonathan Segal (19 days ago)
Hard to pay attention to him when he’s so attractive
Tim Mobley (20 days ago)
All this really helps when you and your delivery is a 14 on a 10 scale. Haha
Christine Becker (21 days ago)
So hard for people to be true to themselves, especially when they are trying to impress others... great tips and stories. :)
a dog on a plane (24 days ago)
Moral of the story: just be yourself
Yuseph le perdant (24 days ago)
your advices dont apply to depressed people with no social skills. you re smooth and natural.
Ken Richard (24 days ago)
Why do people try to get you to do what they want you to do by telling you that they know you want to do it? WHEN YOU DON'T!
Vincent Downing (26 days ago)
Dude: you're gorgeous.
Z Man (28 days ago)
10 minute video to brag about a hookup in rio after not being able to take a compliment... Super relatable.
thisisntme (30 days ago)
traveling the world and speaking multiple languages doesn't make you educated. you would be surprised how many people travel but spend their 2 weeks time in tourist traps and think they now know everything about a place and never realize that they just fell for an illusion created by a corrupt government.
Sage Peace (30 days ago)
5:25 "We did fuck" xD
Stephen Aymond (1 month ago)
So the three mistakes are basically not being honest with other people. Got it.
Draw Clearly (1 month ago)
Oskari Leikos (1 month ago)
You got kicked out of your hospital??
Calenda Maia (1 month ago)
I wonder how much of the reactions described in the video are psychologically-based or culturally-based. I remember a professor arriving late, and shortly after, blaming an employee for arriving late too. The employee answered to him (well, to resume her words) that he should first think for himself. The co-workers took HER behaviour as deeply disrespectful. But it's also true that this professor was usually very correct with the employees, instead this particular employee was not very correct in her turn.
Jonathan Deakins (1 month ago)
Yo great advice, learned a lot from this. Just had to point out though, that shirt is so clean 👌👌
Kelly Jordan (1 month ago)
Hey it's Vanilla Ice...
Pygmy Puff (1 month ago)
I had a guy make a Russian Mafia joke since my mom told him I am Russian and at first the joke was funny, but when he kept going on about it, I got really uncomfortable and embarrassed. He was nice, but that continuous joke just made me turn off from him. I'm sure he meant no harm by it, but I should have spoken up and said "yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great and all, but can we talk about something different?"
Mariana Rattes (1 month ago)
Answering your question, there are still parties going on in Copacabana Palace. I know, I'm a bit late but hey, I just found your channel. 😅
Likely Lad (1 month ago)
Now i know who to butcher when walking on street :)
Lina Lindbladh (1 month ago)
In some of your videos you come a cross as a bragger, but you want to look humble. Its a bit crinchy.
Danny Mahoney (1 month ago)
Honestly in that first scenario I’ve been in those types of meetings and I would be more impressed if the presenter took the high road and simply said something like: “that’s an interesting take, Mr. Guy, can I ask why you think that?” Or “What about the company did you think makes it worth risking other people’s capital?”... More times than not finance is pretty black and white and those guys argue with numbers not emotion... and if he simply called them pussies bc he’s a dick then he sounds like a shitty businessman and a horrible company to work for... know your worth
Mechelle Crossan (1 month ago)
lol it probably helps if your as good looking as him 😊 he’s clever guy I really like him not sure if it’s coz I fancy him though 👍
Side Effects (1 month ago)
You talk with your hands a lot haha
CAP (1 month ago)
Portuguese? I think you mean Brazilian. I wouldn't know though since I only speak American
Mel V (1 month ago)
Can you do a video on how to initiate and hold up an interesting conversation?
Adeline Beason (1 month ago)
weird flex but okay
rex chen (1 month ago)
my god this channel is a blessing. step 1: Eat a cheesburger step 2: Die in peace
Andy Flaster (1 month ago)
I am binge watching your videos after finding them. You are what 25? You are teaching a 55-year-old man a lot. You should be proud of that. I am highly amused. Kind of blows away the "kids today" crap that many middle-aged people throw out. My son is 12. I sure hope he grows up to be more like you than me. As for all the naysayers and jokers in the comments. You are just jealous at how much this young man has it together. You know it even if you are not willing to admit it. He is right. He is saying things I have known all my life but have not had the tools or knowledge to correct.
Seneca Bendich (1 month ago)
why do i add my email for the good stuff? just give it to me. why did i subscribe
seamorgh21 (1 month ago)
The reason the response to the boss worked is that it was a veiled threat of a physical confrontation and the boss was a little bitch at heart and got intimidated. I think this guy missed that major point.
TheErinlw (1 month ago)
“I don’t appreciate what you just did. Don’t ever do it again.” Words to live by
Major Peg (1 month ago)
Why did you get kicked from your hostel lol
Tomi Janet (1 month ago)
زينب zeynep (1 month ago)
1.transparent is trusty , being always okay is not ! 2.fake it till you make it just for the way you act and confidence. But don't pretend in life .
TheReal FakeCaptain (1 month ago)
Why so much body language ?
Tomi Janet (1 month ago)
+TheReal FakeCaptain Oh ok, lol 😂
TheReal FakeCaptain (1 month ago)
+Tomi Janet Oh, I know what you mean. Passionate about expressing himself with his body ! Really not what I am used to, that is too much for me :)
Tomi Janet (1 month ago)
Passionate person 😃
mihika shetty (1 month ago)
wow this seems so hard, I'm getting nervous just thinking about saying it
LSP (1 month ago)
Charlie slayed some brazil puuuss!!
Tomi Janet (1 month ago)
Yeah right🤣
Leon (1 month ago)
really good video and helpful thank you!
Chris Seymour (1 month ago)
U girls really think this guy is that attractive? Why? Hes scrawny
opinionated arsehole (1 month ago)
Hair done right Got a looked after body (skinny but has a slightly large bicep) Really expressionate Intelligent Dresses decent Perfect teeth Looks quite tall I think I just turned myself gay
Viktoria Dementieva (1 month ago)
Hi. Thank you for your videos !!! I do really appreciate your work. I have been learning myself time to time. I hope you will see and answer me though. I have received the sentence from the potential male friend over the text that he likes me being smart not like other young girl. I think it is not right . I am smart and I appreciate the compliment but I dont think all young girls are stupid, I dont think this is the right compliment to point to my intelligence. I tried to point to that as a thing I dont agree with. The point I am not sure how to go further in conversation after you show yourself with disagreeing? or it is just about not connecting and just move on ?
Inforza (1 month ago)
I love #2 don't be affraid to express your opinion. But make sure you back it up with good arguments..
Monstin (1 month ago)
Hello, I have a question about the first part. You said to tell someone who does something offensive "I do not like that, and dont ever do that again". But sometimes this makes the other person say youre just too sensitive. Im mostly talking about family or friend situations. Also at what point should I draw the line? There are somtimes when it just isnt worth causing a disagreement. FOr instance if I depend on someone to do something, like drive me somewhere or if I live in this person's house I dont want to create conflict.
Tomi Janet (1 month ago)
Draw the law if you feel uncomfortable and disrespected It doesn't make you sensitive
Ishmael Dixon (1 month ago)
Love the video, wheres the link?
Billy Lee (1 month ago)
Honestly lose to money and good looks.
Jamie Reese (2 months ago)
nice humble brag there
✋🏼👊🏼😀❤️ I appreciate this. Good vibes for the win. Thank you 🙏
Marinelife7 (2 months ago)
Wow he’s cute
Alexis Maria (2 months ago)
Nice to see your face! Easy on the eyes.
Cpt Red (2 months ago)
I use to have an abusive boss . yelling and making girl cry ..he just one yell at me after working a few weeks there- i looked him in the eye without saying a word . No angry tough nothing . just this song in my head *Let it be ooo let it be * and then i left the job smiling without saying a word. and he was just following me and asking me to stay and i kept my mouth shut wile he was apologizing . i left anyway. He call me like 10 time to know if i was coming back to work soon. next morning i was there 7:45 ready for my 8-16 shift. he never look at me again or really talk to me again and we were working meter from each other. and i since work there for 10 years and i really love that job. I have a new boss Witch is a pretty Fantastic woman. I love this video. First contact is important .Also with regular None superior people it work. when you first meet someone that is a bit passive aggressive Just stay silent you dont have to answer to this person that you dont know. Keep on the good work !
Suvikki74 (2 months ago)
Totally agree to call out BS. It is good that iwhen you pretend to be a tourist in your city, much more fun that way. ;) Yes, fake it only to yourself on emotional level, what you say and do must be honest.
TOAN TOAN (2 months ago)
i never saw a big mouth like you have
People Health Truth (2 months ago)
This is advice for men. Be a man. 2:48 1. I don't like that. Don't do that again. 5:15 2. Disagree 7:30 3. Be seriously honest.
Mohammad Milhem (2 months ago)
The single most important video there is imo.
Standard Popcorn (2 months ago)
How can trust anything that your saying?
gloria drebes (2 months ago)
Your rhetoric skills are a m a z i n g!
Mason Ball (2 months ago)
i like your vids
RobDM (2 months ago)
Not so sure about step one. Can think of more ways that can go wrong than right.
Jurassic Murricorn (2 months ago)
This is an amazing funnel and email collection technique. I'm actually very impressed.
dhgoodall (2 months ago)
Love your videos. I feel like there might be a few exceptions to the respect, or agree-to-disagree, portion of this video, though. For example, I’m a gay man of color and there have been a number of times where I’ve stated I don’t agree with some people’s beliefs that are about sexual orientation or being people of color. Even if we agree to disagree, I’m not sure I would trust some of the people based on what they believe to be true. And they’ve made it clear a few times that they don’t trust me, sometimes through action and sometimes words. In my examples, I’m the one directly affected by the statements and I choose not to associate with people who would devalue me. In your example, the negativity wasn’t directed toward you. Is that the reason you stayed around with her? I’m genuinely curious.
khant myo aung (2 months ago)
i keep wondering about Why the hell you got kick out of the hostel?? 😂😂
Desimere (2 months ago)
All of those things come down to confidence. You can be honest and disagree with people if you have the confidence to know that even if this person doesn't like you, there are enough others who do. Well, maybe a lack of insecurities, rather than just plain old confidence :D
kerrystolcenberg (2 months ago)
Tantourning anyone?
Tainblu (2 months ago)
Stop listening to him, watch his body language thats all you need..
R.B. (2 months ago)
Sometimes when you set boundaries with people they freak out and go crazy at you. This is probably good because then you get away from those people, but be aware it can happen.
Juib Morrowind (2 months ago)
Yes, good vibes more important than intelligence. I often found that my intelligent friends argue more and are insecure about they intellectual image. They are too up tight and not relaxed. And they continuously want to impress you and brag.
Tomi Janet (1 month ago)
Bipasha Sonowal (2 months ago)
These stories seem too good to be true. 🤔
Joshua Powers (2 months ago)
All these years I've been watching Charisma on Command, and I never knew that Charlie was an absolute killer behind that microphone. Black v-neck t-shirts are in transit to my door right now. In all seriousness, this just showcases that you practice what you preach, and makes this channel all the more genuine. I've always loved your videos and find myself charismatic, while simultaneously being a doormat. They've helped to mend the latter attribute, and now I have a new goal: being able to speak this clearly and hold as much attention as you can, for an extended period of time. Kudos amigo, this was awesome.
Dan Kitchen (2 months ago)
Sora (2 months ago)
I love your videos! Is there a podcast version of this?
The Chill Opinion (2 months ago)
I said the same thing to my boss. Is there anyone who can find a job for a 24 year old programmer?
Yuri Vladamir (1 month ago)
+Crescent Rose peoples too heavy with their greeds >.>
Crescent Rose (1 month ago)
Yuri Vladamir you are not wrong
Yuri Vladamir (1 month ago)
+Crescent Rose cows are easier to lift compare to peoples....
Crescent Rose (1 month ago)
Yuri Vladamir l.m.f.a.o
Yuri Vladamir (2 months ago)
+The Chill Opinion your the one complaining about it, im gonna go lift a cow now
Art of Free Speech (2 months ago)
Interesting. 1. I've seen people fired for doing what you suggest in #1. Set boundaries, sure, but calling a boss out and telling them what not to do in the future can get you fired. I've seen it. I've seen bosses say, basically, "hey, if you don't like it, you're welcome to leave the company." I'm guessing your buddy was kind of young. Not everyone runs such a kinder, gentler business (whether or not, as a boss, being respectful is the right thing to do, and I do believe it is). It's great advice for meeting new people OUTSIDE of a business relationship, but if your livelihood depends on it, you're better off addressing it in private, or maybe even just start looking for a new job. 2. There's an immense amount of irony in someone telling us about how to make first impressions while admitting he was kicked out of his hostel. 3. This can be summed up with "Don't lie."
Vicki Ross Tudor (2 months ago)
The reality is unattractive people have a harder lot in life. I used to be a chunky girl, constantly passed over. As soon as I slimmed down, men and women started treating me like I actually existed. It really sucks, but this is reality. If the dude in this video was a hunchback with jacked up teeth, none of us would care what he has to say. You can be gorgeous, yet shallow, snobbish, under-qualified, and still get the job simply because you're attractive. I had a boss tell me once that they were glad they hired me because my "presence" made the office look much nicer. Like, what am I a fucking ornament? That said, people are shit and I could careless about their impressions of me.
Detective Bohobe (2 months ago)
As always, wonderful video!
Skelly boi (2 months ago)
Well, what about friends fron school who you've made the first impresion when you were an idiot and tought people aren't assholes who will share all your sercrets with everyone, and mock you for years and make you go home crying because you just can't stand it anymore? Asking for a friend
Jusu-Tengu (2 months ago)
I seriously gotta check out more of these videos from you. You are such a lifesaver; thank you so much. :)
Lori Vasconcellos (2 months ago)
The Copacabana Palace hotel is one of the bougiest places for a party. Ahahahahaha!
Just Abby (2 months ago)
2:40 that's much scarier than being yelled at tbh
TyePyeSenpai (2 months ago)
Fun is shallow? 😂😂
Audiodump (2 months ago)
I've never gotten an uncanny valley effect from a real person but I get it from this guy. Also, his stories are all so transparently false.
Sam S (2 months ago)
I love his mouth
CommandonerBob 1 (2 months ago)
🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔 You're a Great Help to *a Great Many People,* I believe. Thanks. By improving us, you're improving the world.
Ashley Shane (2 months ago)
That girl that likes intelligent and worldly guys....thats [like] me.... I can take arrogance/other negative any day as long as theyre smart to compensate for it and their future goes somewhere
Packman Guapo (2 months ago)
Step 1. Fake it till you make it Step 2. Don’t lie

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