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Why You Aren’t Getting A Second Date

3089 ratings | 119388 views
Link to 3 tips video: https://goo.gl/rH8Dvb One of the most common questions I get from guys is: "I thought the date went great....but she didn't want a second date. Why not?" That's what this video covers: how to get a second date. There are a million reasons why she may not want to see you again, but outside of serious compatibility issues, there are 3 main reasons it might be. Once you know what they are, you can pay attention to how you might be making these 3 mistakes and avoid them in the future. Subscribe to Charisma On Command: http://bit.ly/subscribeCOC Connect With Us. Website: http://www.charismaoncommand.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/charismaoncommand Periscope: @Charismaon Or if you want to see my personal stuff (my regular life + me playing music): Instagram: @CharlieHoupert Periscope: @CharlieHoupert
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Text Comments (272)
David Glover (10 days ago)
2nd? Can't get a first. 🤷‍♀️
Leslie 04 (1 month ago)
Does this work for guys ._.
Isha Thakor (1 month ago)
charlie i cant even get a first date send help
ashamer (2 months ago)
What are the compatibility issues you talk about? Can you make a video about those?
justin Symanietz (2 months ago)
Charlie, I’ve been watching your videos for some time now and I really get a lot out of the content you put out because you obviously put a lot of thought into it and break it down into step by step applications. The problem I Have is that I’m scared of people thinking I’m an asshole so I over compensate by doing way too much for people and then they tend to take advantage of it and basically see me as someone that will do things for them. I haven’t seen a video from you on this topic. If you have any input on that front, I’d appreciate it. Gracias, Señor!
CloppyFeet (3 months ago)
Frozen in poze, locked up in amber eternally Buried so close to the Fountain of Youth, I can almost reach
iHelloway (3 months ago)
recently tried to meet 3 girls, had great conversations and time and yet they told they dont want a second date , some said they did not knew some said they see me as a friend and they don`t search for friend ... but u cant just marry someone instantly or go out, it needs time, but they dont want to spend any more time, they want instantanious romance ... thats why we need to get out of friendzone and instead having nice conversations , invest in our first impressions looks, dress something sharp, serious, have devilish body language and from time to time try to touch her hand , compliment her , and most of all try not to talk too much about things which we are interested in ... those are quite hard skills but it`s only way I would say ... girls are picky and not as easy going as we guys , so only later you can introduce her to your casual self , it`s like taming a tiger , u give it meat and than try to pet it , not everyone is wearing Tiger pheramones per say
Mr Offensington (3 months ago)
I imagine the fire is in Charlie's pants.
Nonmi Hiseddeo (4 months ago)
One of the reasons I don't give a guy a second date is if he starts telling me all his problems. Assuming that I am able to finish dinner by pretending to be interested and psychoanalyzing him the whole time, as soon as we're out the door I will tell him that we will not be seeing each other again and wish him good luck. I go out with a guy to have a good time, not to be subjected to a hard-luck story.
Tom (4 months ago)
So how about you went on a date, had an awesome time, went nearly all the way (so there is a romatic side involved) and afterwards she does text back, but never wanting to set a date. Is dis de friendzone?
glmoore001 (4 months ago)
Very good talk...
Jasper Gabriels (5 months ago)
I don't even get a first date... Even when girls ask for my number and now i have only dead numbers :(
PKSTkimo (6 months ago)
I know lots of girls, but I always befriend them instead of going on dates, idk why. I mean, it's like I have a friendzone aura installed on my brain. Maybe I'm missing intention? idk
hatchetninja- warrior (8 months ago)
You literally give THE BEST advice I’ve heard so far on social media
Charisma on Command (8 months ago)
~ That's awesome man! Appreciate the kind words. :-)
atoceansmercy (9 months ago)
HAHAHAH! Some don't like being touched at all and find it creepy.
Jp Jp (9 months ago)
What do you use for your equipment? Camera, Mic, editing software, etc? Thank you.
Binka O (9 months ago)
"We talked for an hour" lol.. For me an hour would be considered a really short unsuccessful date. I've never had a date that lasted less than 5-6 hours (of talking that is)..
Keerya (10 months ago)
There was a guy that I found cute one day on the bus. I took all the courage I had and went to talk to him... It's been a year and I still regret doing it. Turn out we are kind of friends now because he say hello to me when we see each other but the biggest turn off for me is that he only talk about himself. Like he is not interested in me, he find me pretty (that I can tell) but he is self-centered. People tell me I'm pretty all the time... It's boring and it kind of hurt when it's the only thing people seems to see in me, a pretty doll. It feel like I don't matter. It feel lonely... And is a red flag in a romantic relationship.
Wolkify (10 months ago)
haha, funny to see these old videos, now that your channel is way past 1 mio subscribers! amazing how far you have come, keep it up!
KRALTAIR47 (11 months ago)
Wtf
Julie P. (11 months ago)
When this happens, I usually find out he has a girlfriend later
Ashleigh Leeann (11 months ago)
Also alcohol
Vanessa Carbajal (1 year ago)
The 2nd tip is so true. If a guy doesn't have standards, it can come off as desperate. If a guy stands firm and communicate what are his deal breakers and what aren't. He's setting his boundaries and automatically gaining respect. Great video 👏
Sawsan Saleem (1 year ago)
Do more dating/ flirting videos
Cameron Quinn (1 year ago)
Thank you so much nice James Franco!
spartan 042 (1 year ago)
So this is how I screwed up
Aidan Farren-Hart (1 year ago)
Why am I not getting the _first_ date?
Cynical Scorpio (1 year ago)
For all you saying you can't even get a first date, it's really not that hard. You just need to put your mind to it. Have an abundence mentality, take advantage of every opportunity. Talk to any girl you have the chance too, get a Tinder, ext. Just keep your options open. If you get rejected, move on asap. There's thousands and thousands of other potentials in your area, gurenteed. Also work on your social skills, do your research on dating, ext. Also focus on other stuff in life, like friends, school, hobies, ext. And it should eventually come together :)
Neo polly (1 year ago)
What if I don't want to date? Kind of a non problem, but I'm 19 in college and I have only been on one date in my life, which was recent. I was afraid that I was subconsciously afraid of failing, but nope the date went fine. I wasn't nervous and we both enjoyed our time. I was confident and happy before, during, and after. I don't really care about intimacy or sex, so there's no reason to fork over my time and money to random strangers. Whatever it is that makes most people obsess over being in a relationship I just don't have. I'm fine with that, I'm just wondering if there's something wrong that I don't see.
Jennifer Parra (1 year ago)
I didnt realize how much sexual tension was an issue until i started dating. I went out with a guy today and you could almost cut the sexual tension with a knife in that car. He didnt even do much just some well placed flirty looks, lip biting, and a hand on my knee from time to time. I legitimately got nervous, first time that happens and i cant wait to see him again. On the other hand there was another guy i went on 3 dates with that created no sexual tensions. We generally got along but the lack of tensions made me feel awkward around him nevertheless.
Jessica Ruiz (1 year ago)
I'm a girl and I'm not getting second date with guys I like ;-;
S. Saadat (1 year ago)
Dude! you move too much! Your hands are orbiting like a fan ;)
vecter (1 year ago)
Physical contact is key. You cannot have sexual attraction without breaking the touch barrier. Men, learn how to do this confidently and not creepily.
krysty kava (1 year ago)
this rules of dating is sure way to fail, I don't need a "driving instructions" how to react on a date, I see guys judging me on the rules that I brake and they judge me, to me judging is bad and because I don't do what they learned online is red flags they see about me - I am taking them to be weak and not ready for a healthy relationship. I value men who took their time to learn what is meaningful in creating a true connection and that means seeing the whole person in depth over time and not "knowing" who I am based on some dating rules. The dating coaches have no better relationships from us, I wonder why that is, lol
Theo Frare-Davis (1 year ago)
A red shirt!? What's wrong Charlie!?!?
Benji Price (1 year ago)
I show girls my Pokémon collection on the first day I still can't catch them all.
Diego Ortega (1 year ago)
I believe you man, let's do it!
Puzzle Girl (1 year ago)
I should note that, as a woman, I HATE it when men do the wrist/ shoulder touch on the first date. It's really obvious, and it makes me want to move away from them. Handshake, dancing -- great. Do something fun. One of the best first dates I had was bowling. (I should note that I'm looking for marriage, not hookups.)
Mariam Diallo (1 year ago)
Get a woman on your channel so we can have some charisma tips, too! Yes, a lot of your tips are universal and i love them, but like some other commentators said, you (understandably) seem to target men more.
popupzdotcom (1 year ago)
Great video, most lists for advice don't stick with me but this was memorable
077 Di (1 year ago)
Do this video for women
K C (1 year ago)
Now I want to date Charlie. He is so cute <3
Amy Qiu (1 year ago)
What about the biggest reason why you [men] aren't getting a second date, which is that you don't fit the standards of the women [not girls] during the date?  Charisma on Command posits the woman being rude to the waiter, but what about the man being rude to the waiter? Intelligent women reject men who aren't considerate, observant, thoughtful, confident, potentially committed or humble, or who lack integrity, shirk responsibility, eagerly blame others or don't care about other human beings.  Additionally, intelligent women reject men who treat women as merely an object of their own desires, rather than as another person with their own needs, desires and feelings.  If you [man or woman] are not getting a second date, consider which of these standards listed above you've failed and keep in mind that the standard for being in a marriage or a close relationship is higher than for being another friend, and they won't tell necessarily tell you which ones you failed.
ReasonableRadio (3 months ago)
Especially things like Observant and Thoughtful that are hardest to measure. How do you know what someone else sees and thinks? These things are all important but there are countless top shelf people who aren't one or more of these things
ReasonableRadio (3 months ago)
I don't know how many people you're going to find who fit all of these characteristics. You're going to have to bring a lot to the table as well
popupzdotcom (1 year ago)
Amy Qiu he said the top three reasons not every reason
Wild Man (1 year ago)
I wanted to add some recent wisdom I picked up about getting the second date. I'm in my early forties and dating has changed a lot. One of the things women assert with me is that they are looking for casual sex. Sometimes they have other people they are dating (we are single, but it doesn't mean we don't have other partners) and sometimes they work a lot...so just a night of sex is what they need. What I'm finding in listening to them and opening up afterwards about our lives and our needs is that they come back a second time...but it may be a couple of weeks or a month later. And the women I'm allowing to come back and forth tend to be really good in bed, so its worth it to be patient with them as part of it. Great video! Thanks for sharing with us! A lot of it is mostly common sense stuff. And one last tip, ask before you sext. Some women love it, some don't want the texts clogging up their phones or can't always talk. So its about getting feedback on those first and second encounters too and running with it!
I'm a girl and it's such a huge problem sometimes to figure out if a guy is flirting with real intent behind it or just being nice and flexing his social skills. Totally true about the sexual tension part. If you are on a date and a girl is laughing all the time she is having a good time, that's it. It has nothing to do with the actual dating or sex or whatever and if you want it to be - give some goddamn signs.
Chris Redfield (1 year ago)
Катя Мазурчак If you want it why not start giving signs yourself?
obiwanfisher537 (1 year ago)
I meet women through friends and well we come along nice. It usually gets funny and sexual, girls qualify and everything is smooth. So I ask them if they wanna meet up, sometimes they even ask me. And Im not even the guy who asks for HER number... Still Ive never met any of those girls a secound time. Theres always the flakes, excuses or they get mad about something stupid. Like whats bugging me right now is this one girl. She asked for my number, we exchanged and agreed to meet up next weekend. So that weekend was really, really bad weather and she said shewouldnt come (she only has a bike). Its a legit excuse especially because she asked if we could rearrange it. We make up a new date and I made a joke "Better look up weather.com". Totally mad at me. Cancelled the date etc. Its always something and Im positive that girls who wanna meet up wont be so upset about a bad joke like that. I really dont know. Why could it be that the girls and I go along great but never meet up? And there was only this once a bad joke involved...
obiwanfisher537 (1 year ago)
Катя Мазурчак Funny how you just focus on the thing I already have my answers to.
well I'm sure you'll get your girl eventually as you seem as a nice person! But if you want an advice don't tease a girl before you are solid with her. It's like a thing when friends crack jokes at each other and call names, it's ok but AFTER you are together =D
obiwanfisher537 (1 year ago)
Катя Мазурчак I somhow dont see your comment? I just got the email notification.. Thing is: yes. Thats probably the reason about her. I know it was a bad joke, but I was a little pissed about it because I really, really wanted to meet her. Especially because thatwas the secound eate on the weekend that didnt happen. Usually I dont crack one like that and they still flake. I dont know what I even COULD do wrong.
obiwanfisher537 (1 year ago)
Катя Мазурчак Why would I be condescending? I dont think in such a way anyways.
Delta X (1 year ago)
The real reason is probably because I didnt get a first date
Sacha Kitty (1 year ago)
Hello charlie..I liked your video topics much:) Would love to watch more about some amazing dating, love topics from you!! Tips when guys/girls are attracted to each other - from their body gestures?? Love to know more about this. I hope you able to read this comment. Great day!
machuuu (1 year ago)
ok just waiting for the video for 3rd date now
J. L. D. (1 year ago)
It's just AMAZING to me that so many men don't fathom your 2nd point. I've always thought of it more of "women want to be treated like they are a human being, and not a blow up doll that you just want to boink", but the not having standards bit is interesting, and I will have to ponder it. But really, it boils down to men needing to finally grasp that women are not sexual objects to be obtained, conquered, and checked off a list like notches in a bedpost :P
Birki gts (1 year ago)
J. L. D. I dare say most men are genuinely interested in having a relationship. Not just sex. Not really sure where women get the impression that most men are just after sex.
Cátia Palminha (1 year ago)
You have quite a few videos regarding dating and flirting but it's always in a guy's perspective, what should a guy say, how to approach a girl, I think it would be nice to have a take on the other side :)
SilentMott (4 months ago)
If you're a guy and ONLY want love and sex, that's precisely why you're NOT interesting to women. Real men have good standards and passions and women should meet those and acknowledge them if they want you to be interested.
I am a Troll (9 months ago)
Cátia Palminha Cause it's really easy to please a guy but pleasing a girl is rocket science... Guys want love and sex, it's really that simple....
Binka O (9 months ago)
Check out Matthew Hussey..
Martin Bue (1 year ago)
Cátia Palminha 😂
Urmat Almazbekov (1 year ago)
Your videos get more likes translated to Russian 😅
Veteran Grammar Nazi (1 year ago)
Urmat Almazbekov cause of the translation. A bigger audience there perhaps
Jonathan Perez (1 year ago)
I don't get it... I touch them on dates, I share stories, and we even share a kiss at the end of the date. However, for some reason they never want to go on a second date. Dating is the most frustrating thing in the world. In addition these women aren't even that great looking so it makes me feel even worst that I can have a 2nd date with some non-attractive chick.
thenow 555 (1 year ago)
Jonathan Perez bro, if those chics u met online, they mostly go by looks, it doesn’t matter what u say, how good ur game is, they have weird standards they created in their mind, if u don’t look physically appealing to her, its done. I never take online chics seriously, usually if u don’t bang her on same night, 95% chance u will not see her again so don’t take them to expensive places. I take them to park, cheap coffee shops & then if she feels me & if i like what i see, then i taker her to my place. Remember, don’t stress those online hoes 2 much, immediately gauge her interest level, u can sense it if u concentrate by being present in moment bro. If she ain’t feeling u, by u asking her to come 2 ur place, delete her fkn #, she already back online by the time date ends, gl bro
J. L. D. (1 year ago)
+Allan Hall oh don't worry, I had no intention of bothering. I agree with your assesment pretty much. I feel sorry for anyone who has the misfortune of being around such a macho jerk, tho.
Allan (1 year ago)
+J. L. D. Jonathan Perez is either a troll, or a hopeless sociopath. Either way, I recommend not wasting your time responding.
Jonathan Perez (1 year ago)
+J. L. D. Are you a woman? That alone will tell me everything.
J. L. D. (1 year ago)
You just reinforced that you hold women of less importance AGAIN. So yep--I'd say with 95% certainty your attitude IS the problem. And you can run around thinking women are the problem, and continue to not keep getting dates, or you can grow a pair and do some introspection and realize that if you get the same result over n over n over n over again, and that result is an issue for you, then maybe it isn't 'them', it's YOU. Good luck with that whole finding a woman who wants to date a man who thinks she is less of a valuable human than he is thing :P :P :P
michael jones (2 years ago)
How do I even get a girl on the date?
michael jones (1 year ago)
Grammar Nazi,bro you saved my life im doing it
Veteran Grammar Nazi (1 year ago)
michael jones catfish her or kidnap her and force her to go on dates with you down in your basement
Deborrah Cooper (2 years ago)
Charlie, I need you to do a search for "True Forced Loneliness" and figure out a way to get those guys some assistance. They are all depressed and angry because they can't get a woman and fear being alone the rest of their lives. I've never in my life come across such a group of sad individuals. Personally, if men just talk to women like humans, all these games, tricks, lines, techniques, etc. that you all promote would not be necessary. But I suppose there is some strange value in it for men to feel powerful. Whatever. LOL
Mr Offensington (3 months ago)
Games, tricks, lines and techniques often work because they convey the right social skills and this isn't about feeling powerful. It's about becoming powerful. Never listen to dating advice from a woman lol, they have no idea wtf they want.
Ni Tian (5 months ago)
Yeah but part of the problem is that comes across as boring. I dont flirt with men but flirting with womem make you come across as interesting or funny or fun to be around. Yeah I talk to men and women the same. Neither are attracted to me in that sense. But I want one to be. So I think I need to talk to women differently. And there is the tricky part. Talk to girls like you talk to your guy friends. Yeah that makes sense but if you dont sound flirty around your guy friends then its not talking to the 2 genders the same way right?
mhhmmm (6 months ago)
It’s not that women require “tricks”, its that in normal human interaction, being too gentle and trying to not offend all the time (being nice) creates tension and distrust. People trust honest people, and being too nice means hiding your true self. Be nice but open yourself up. Don't be so afraid to be disliked and social skills will follow.
Marko Potočnik (6 months ago)
Deborrah Cooper: I don't know why you misled people like that, and make their lives miserable. Why are you doing that?!
mcnyregrus (2 years ago)
I know that you're saying all these things in your video with the best intentions, and there's a lot of truth to what you're saying (I've been guilty of all three things – especially having no standards). I do really believe that if you manage to live by what you're saying you will do a lot better with women, but there is a vital problem missing: The women. I spent ten years of my life trying to figure out what I was doing wrong so I could get women to like me. I finaly figured out that, yes, I was doing certain things wrong, but there's also something "wrong" with Western women. After having gone to South America recently I saw how different women where there, and now I have a Peruvian girlfriend. There's actually a Youtube video with Patrice O'neal called "Brazil" that says the exact same thing. I'm done with catering to Northern European and most American women, because there's one description that I found to be true of most of them (not all): No matter what you do it's never good enough, because they only want perfection without having to give anything in return. They talk about equality but don't believe in it – what they want is power and status, not equality. I used to think I was a bad person and that I was boring and weird, although I actually have many of the traits women ask for (and many more). I've just been conditioned by men and women alike who all say that women never do anything wrong, and that it's men's responsibility to make women happy. Bill Maher had some really good points about that in this clip from 1:55 to 3:27 in this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x64cy3Bcr98 Even in Danish national newspapers there have been articles, even some written by women, about how Danish women complain, complain, complain about their husbands constantly and how they want everything from them, and the men just have to accept it. In my own life I have met beautiful, funny, independent women where everything seemed to click, but then they would just disappear sooner or later. In some cases I found out that "oh, there was another guy who was even more interesting than you". Other women were just too busy for me. Others had lame excuses. Others ignored me completely. Other women have been weird, overweight and not particularly pretty (and I was foolish enough to go for them), yet they still felt I wasn't good enough for them. And that's the thing: Based on everything I've seen in my own life, what women tell me directly, what I've heard women say when talking to their friends in public, and what women and men share online, women have loads and loads of choice, no matter who they are. Sure, beautiful women have more options than ugly ones, but even mediocre looking women, even fat and disgusting women, will get offers if they go into a bar or go on an online dating site (and yes, of course many of the offers are useless) – without having to put in any effort except for being there. The stories I hear range from 5-50 letters per day on dating sites, and in bars and clubs approaches seem to be around 1-10 per night (and I've seen this myself when I've been in a club with female friends). In Denmark, where I'm from, I was approached around five times in 30 years and exactly four women wrote me online throughout 3 years! Spain was better, and so was the US, but the US still seems to be loaded with demanding, greedy women who offer nothing in return and who date five-ten guys at the same time and never tell you about this. Just these stories you read about celebrities dating saying "we haven't promised each other exclusivity yet" says something about the state of things. It's become one big competition where everybody's confused and in a extreme rush, and where we have to impress each other with ligtning speed or we're discarded, because there's a gazillion others waiting in the wing. This also applies to men – but especially women. So, don't fish for trout in a lake that only has cod. That's what I saw when I went to South America. Here you find women that give you their love and are faithful, and all they ask is that you love them in return and are faithful and maybe a bit funny and not psycho. In the west you have to be ambitious, popular, full of initiative, confident, honest, funny, good-looking, well-spoken, rich, stable, ripped, spontanous, generous, a planner, a psychologist, a handyman, a good listener, and you have to vote for the right political party. In the West you have to be all those things just to get a mediocre looking woman to respond to a text message. And if you ask her to give the same in return, even just part of it (e.g. take initiative or listen), it's just "F**k this! I'll find someone else where I don't have to give anything in return!". And why should she want to give anything in return? There are hundreds of guys waiting in line behind me to give her everything she wants just to get the chance to go on a date with her. And how could you ever be happy with someone like that? That's why I've given up looking among western women and will stick with Latin American (or perhaps Eastern European or Asian) women in the future if my current relationship doesn't work out. Don't let the wrong people ruin your confidence if you have many good things to offer. Find the people who appreciate what you have. Most people only care about money, status and power, so find someone who doesn't care about that. Four times in the last five years I've written a list of my positive characteristics (from scratch every time), and I've always ended up with around 50 after half an hour – and then I have to listen to some arrogant woman who has absolutely nothing to offer except her looks tell me that I'm just not very interesting! Give me a break!
Ian Gozl (2 years ago)
thanks man! your videos help me a lot! n.n/
Charisma on Command (2 years ago)
Happy to share :-)
Hector D.S. (2 years ago)
oooOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!
ryan27454 (2 years ago)
I used your tip from another video about going to improv and I went tonight and I feel awesome. I've never been able to speak so freely. Keep making more videos you're so awesome!!!!
Sciencymiency (2 years ago)
Still waiting for the first date :/
obiwanfisher537 (1 year ago)
pivotwashere Somehow, and I dont know why, was this not interesting. 😗
obiwanfisher537 (1 year ago)
pivotwashere 10 euro on no.
Guesswhohowduguess (2 years ago)
Thumbs up for the fire comment :D
The Cowboy (2 years ago)
How can you do the things you talked about, if you a socially awkward introvert?
TrueReality (2 years ago)
Woman are very into physical looks, if they dont want to have sex with you, You are Done. you are not going to laugh a chic into bed. girl knows in 5 minutes if she wants to have sex with you.
Ida Danzig (1 year ago)
True!
TrueReality That's not true at all.
popupzdotcom (1 year ago)
TrueReality that's not true at all women are drawn to guys who are charismatic and admired by others. If you give off a sense of authority and seem respected, even a visually mediocre guy can get a fine girl no problem. Hence why ugly wealthy people have knock out wives
Snake (2 years ago)
lol
MrMultiAlber (2 years ago)
im a guy and I can tell in a second if I wanna have sex with a woman
Dragos Z (2 years ago)
I know why. Because i'm ugly. It's my f face.
Austin Wetzel (2 years ago)
I cracked up when you said "there's like a fire behind me"
Gaston Martos (2 years ago)
This guy should f*ck like 4 times a day
N G (2 years ago)
this video assumes there was a first date.
TheOnlyJR (2 years ago)
N G well it is talking about the second date it's in the title
bookfreak909 (2 years ago)
I am a girl as well and what you say makes lots of sense! Especially the standard one. Right now I am in Latinamerica (being blond and blue-eyes but otherwise not the prettiest) and the guys just run after you and tell you all the shit they think you want to hear. And I cannot identify with that at all. This has only partially to do with being ugly. Because if you are "ugly" you feel like you shouldn't have any standards at all and just be happy with any woman. And if you are "handsome" and you show me you like me I feel very special because you make me feel special. But I guess this is hard to fake if you still think you are ugly...
edi (2 years ago)
Please do one on the infamous friendzone.
Emily Parsons (2 years ago)
I absolutely love this video. Could you give some advice for women trying to date men? I'm a huge fan of your channel, but sometimes I feel a bit neglected as a female fan.
Tali Travels (5 months ago)
Lolll at Greg’s comment - someone’s a bit bitter. But what Popupz said is very true for both genders. Watch how much you complain on dates - the amount of negative things or opinions you share should be pretty damn close to zero. But that shouldn’t just be a forced filtering of your conversation - the more you work on being positive in real life, the more people will be attracted to you on dates because you naturally don’t gravitate to negative opinions
popupzdotcom (1 year ago)
Emily Parsons heres some good advice. Laugh the way you would around your friends, don't be on your phone, don't talk about past relationships, and I would advise against cursing. I personally like girls who I think are genuinely sweet people, and I know that sounds cheesy, but many girls talk about others that they dislike & tend to come off a bit narcissistic in my opinion. Humbleness, selflessness, and expressiveness are probably the most important qualities to make a guy more drawn to you
FroztDrake (2 years ago)
feelsbadman
sam mcclellan (2 years ago)
More of this style please. And thank you for your channel.
Johnny Topside (2 years ago)
I never chase women "just because they look good". Sure, they generally have to be good looking, but I have a lot of pet peeves so if I'm not compatible with her or she lacks the proper sense of humor I'm going to pass, unless it's a 10/10.
8cspohn (2 years ago)
That is very true on the standards thing, usually if you have no standards there you end up with looks women that are well crazy. It could be there worse than the crazy term to, beautiful and sick do happen also. you made a fair point - Charisma on Command
Video Game Massacre (2 years ago)
I don't believe in love but believe the purposes of marriages is to divide our responcibilities among each other, this is usually done with people we are physically attracted to, can get along with, and are able to benefit each other.
Clout Gang (2 years ago)
Good shit. Ironically my best is bucket 2 but my weakest is bucket 1
Yasser Soopee (2 years ago)
sociopath.
Emmanuel Awesome guy (2 years ago)
only 32.000 views.. This guy is amazing.. very smart and clear
Charisma on Command (2 years ago)
°Thanks for the encouragement!
simontmn (2 years ago)
You must be good luck, while I was listening to this a girl texted me asking me out on a date - third date! :D I shall endeavour to employ your wise advice...
Charisma on Command (2 years ago)
°Nothing makes us happier than hearing people are applying these tools, let alone so quickly ;-)
TeamTripleStar (2 years ago)
I find that I tend to group potential partners into two categories. Date worthy and One Night Stand. Date worthy women are affectionate, polite, lack extreme pessimism , aren't needy and are gregarious. One Night Stand women are just physically attractive, may not be awful people, but certainly are not up to my standards in terms of the kind of personality traits I am attracted to, and no, I really won't be calling them back.
Josh Slavin (2 years ago)
This advice translates in to so many other areas of social and professional life.
Aleksandr Peskishev (2 years ago)
To answer the question of do I have standards; yesterday I stopped pursuing a pretty girl that was into me after she threw up on herself. So yeah, I draw the line at that. Standards!
Contango (2 years ago)
Thanks for the video! It's finally clear to me what part I suck at, and that's #3. I"m ridiculously good with convo flow and sense of humor and having fun in general (#1), you're right that I only care about looks (#2) in the beginning - however when it comes to standards if she were to do something I didn't like, like be rude to a waiter, I'd definitely call her out on it; it's just that I've never had a situation on a first date where something happened that was beneath my standards. The big problem I have is with #3 - sexual chemistry. I've had a few girlfriends but they were all friends first for a long time, and we naturally developed into something romantic, not even intentionally. In fact, I wasn't even attracted to them physically at first. This is why when I try dating girls I find attractive, not only do her looks make me nervous, but I've rarely been in a situation where I built up chemistry in a date or two. So I'm literally an idiot with it. I don't even know how to hold hands without being creepy/nervous. Or touch her casually. I've never experienced that. How do I do it? Baby steps please.
Ethan Denton (2 years ago)
I'm assuming sexual tension doesn't have to lead to sex right? will kissing be enough with this mind set? because I'm going to wait till I'm married
Cedrick Kevin Nanini (2 years ago)
i dont think so. in porn it does. but in real life it doesnt, what it will lead to is comfortable cuddling. it think.
Cedrick Kevin Nanini (2 years ago)
i dont think so. i porn it does. but in real life it doesnt, what it will lead to is comfortable cuddling. it think.
Eric Palmer (2 years ago)
Short answer your ugly
PinoyAkoPh (2 years ago)
Eric Palmer say THAT on a date and you're definitely going to get rejected too
Eric Palmer (2 years ago)
+Dernier danse Say that on a date and you're gonna get instantly turned down
Derniere danse (2 years ago)
Not as ugly as your grammar (or lack of)
Eric Palmer (2 years ago)
+edi​ shhh now its not only her that knows I did that
edi (2 years ago)
or she found out that your watch is fake and your car only borrowed...
Big Ray (2 years ago)
The last thing i want is standards when trying to score, unless the standard is she's bald or has no teeth or summin
Big Ray (2 years ago)
+Eitan Blumin ask ye sistr ;)
Eitan Blumin (2 years ago)
and how does this mindset work out for you so far?
Only_Two_Genders (2 years ago)
My turn.... I enjoy your videos but...... super excessive, over the top facial exertions and hand gestures. Watch this video and see should see what I mean. I'm just saying. Makes Russel Brand look like he is on downers.
male person (2 years ago)
Why the fuck am I not getting a first one?!
Fleet of Hoof (1 year ago)
male person Try looking in the mirror, that's what I use as a reminder...
Jason Walsh (2 years ago)
if i was myself on the date and she does not respond to a post date text or does not initiated any contact after the date, then why would i want to question myself.. ? as i said, i was myself on the date.
Lost Woods (2 years ago)
Building sexual tension is probably my biggest hangup. I think you're spot on with movies/TV, a lot in pop media is so misleading, but for me personally I've grown up being told that 'it's rude to treat women like sex objects' such to the point that any indication of sexual interest is regarded as misogynist and to be rigorously avoided. Unlearning that has been extremely challenging.
microphone dropper (2 years ago)
Dude this shit needs to be taught in high school! Save ppl so much relationship grief, its all obvious but most never realize it
Hi Charlie, you have an amazing channel :D I liked this video, but I would like to watch a video like this but talking about how women can improve this. Thank you. bye Charlie
Olga Pawlik (2 years ago)
omg you are so on point with number 2. i am a girl and sometimes my friends ask me 'why are you not into him' and I never really knew how to put it into words. A lot of the guys are nice but you can tell that don't really care about who you are or what you have to say. You can tell that they would be into you even if you turned out to be a terrible person, that is a major turn off.
Michael (2 years ago)
Your advice is on point man. Well done 👌
Browngypsy (2 years ago)
I watch a lot of the "what's going wrong with date" type videos. However, I don't know if the vlogger believes that it would be applicable for gay dating. Do you feel that most of your videos would apply? I enjoy what you post. I've subscribed and watch most of them but I avoid watching the dating videos because of this.
TheHvk (2 years ago)
Mental masturbation. smh.... I hope this channel doesn't turn into a pua channel lmao.
Eitan Blumin (2 years ago)
+Timothy Etuc The example you made does not actually demonstrate that, Timothy. You have prefaced your example with "both have same social skills" and that the only difference between them would be their looks. Obviously if you essentially declare that ALL OTHER THINGS BEING EQUAL, when you make even one tiny insignificant difference between them (i.e. looks) then it would have a huge impact. But it's not because "looks are 95% of what gets you laid". Your example would be true when looks are even 0.01% as well: Because even 10001 is larger than 10000. But you know why I know that it's wrong to say that "it's 95% looks"? Because I've personally seen guys who look handsome as fuck, lose chicks to a scrawny ugly guy, simply due to the gap in their social skills.
Timothy Etuc (2 years ago)
+Eitan Blumin actually it is not irrelevant. _""Looks, money, and social prestige are 95% of what gets you laid with the rest being negligible" _ _That's a terribly shallow attitude and I feel sorry for you for saying that. I know for a fact that the very opposite is true."_ it just shows, that the opposite is not true. Looks actually have a huge influence as well on many. My point was, that it does not matter if looks care or not - but that morals should count, too. As for looks, you still can help it a bit out with veganism (healthy) and sport/ exercise. It is sad but true, that people are very superficial. And actually social skills also leaad to social prestige (at least for the moment). I actually ask myself, what are real social skills? Skills, that makes you present yourself for the woman and in society? Or skills, that help you to better the world? The first does not need to equal the latter. But for me, real social skill is in the latter.
Eitan Blumin (2 years ago)
+Timothy Etuc Your example is indeed extreme, and it is also irrelevant. Because you said "with the same set of social skills". Don't you think that's a very disingenuous handicap, considering the topic of conversation? The whole point of PUA tactics is to IMPROVE YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS... So that when a woman is faced with a choice between a bad looking guy and a good looking guy, she would have more to go on than their looks.
Timothy Etuc (2 years ago)
+Eitan Blumin an extreme example: someone who is 40 years old and looks like mid twenties vs. someone who is 40 years old and looks like 60... who do you think, will get the woman easier, with the same set of social skills? I actually don't care anymore. I learned PUA, but I really did not like it. In the end my thought is, she should like me as I am naturally and should be in harmony with important values that I have. If not... I don't need her... if I never find one? I don't care anymore actually. I will try to focus on my life. If there is a woman, who drags you down, she can be one of the most beautiful woman out there... she is not worth it. It is that easy for me now.
Austerlitz (2 years ago)
This guy doesn't know what he's talking about, there are only two real steps: 1) Be attractive 2) Don't be unattractive
Mongo Mango (2 years ago)
3 Most important thing: 1. be true to yourself.(confidence , show your true self, must have, that where attraction come from) don't care too much about how you seen in moment and be playful and cocky. 2. sexual interest: (must have, if you want to have sex like in the same month) be comfortable with sexuality, women don't like embarrassment and to be judged. 3. dominance: (not must have but extreme useful also in other part of your life) lead the conversation, take your own way, and don't care too much about feelings of others
Arline Jernigan (2 years ago)
Do you think it goes both ways? What are the bucket points for the dudes that we could consider? Lord knows I could use some assistance hers.
Andrés D ́ (2 years ago)
Thank you! I really like your videos especially when you talk about different steps about something in specific . Great job.
A55tech (2 years ago)
Would like to see summaries/notes/TL:DW in the description, such as listing the 3 factors in this case.

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